Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Pansexual Demigirl - What on earth.

36 replies

ArtfulUser · 23/07/2025 09:54

I joined really just to use this board as I dont know who else to ask.

I have a just turned 11 year old niece. I see her a few times a year and talk on the phone. We were very close when she was younger but obviously she is growing up and friends etc become more important.

I noticed on her whatsapp stories she posted something saying she was a pansexual demigirl.

She has since created a whatsapp profile pic with the two flags from these behind her.

She's had whatsapp since she was 9 on her own phone which I think is a whole other level of inappropriate but thats not what I'm asking.

What on earth - she's only just 11 and only just finished primary school.

How has she got into this or know what her sexuality is at this age. Is this common among this age?

For the record Im gender critical and believe that there is biological sex along with an infinite number of personalities. I have never discussed these issues with her.

OP posts:
AmaryllisNightAndDay · 23/07/2025 10:33

How has she got into this or know what her sexuality is at this age.

She doesn't. Pansexual really means she doesn't yet know who she's going to be sexually attracted to, and demi-girl means that sometimes she doesn't want to be very girlie. All fine at 11.

Is this common among this age?

We started talking all sorts of nonsense about sex when I was about 11. Part of growing up and figuring things out.

If she she wants to talk to you then listen and talk to her. Otherwise I would ignore it.

Original poster
ArtfulUser · 23/07/2025 10:29

senua · 23/07/2025 10:27

She's had whatsapp since she was 9 on her own phone which I think is a whole other level of inappropriate but thats not what I'm asking ...
How has she got into this or know what her sexuality is at this age.
Maybe ignore her behaviour but have a chat with the parents.
Are they aware of the perils that may face her. Are they informed or in a naïve #BeKind bubble?

I'm not sure it's my place to do that.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArtfulUser · 23/07/2025 10:28

Thank you all for your helpful comments. I will just ignore and never raise it. Hopefully she will grow out of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArtfulUser · 23/07/2025 10:27

Mumteedum · 23/07/2025 10:22

Her parents are not keeping an eye on her online activity enough. Not good.

I've always thought that. She could use a phone before she could use cutlery properly. But I'm not the parent and it's not my place to comment.

OP posts:
senua · 23/07/2025 10:27

She's had whatsapp since she was 9 on her own phone which I think is a whole other level of inappropriate but thats not what I'm asking ...
How has she got into this or know what her sexuality is at this age.
Maybe ignore her behaviour but have a chat with the parents.
Are they aware of the perils that may face her. Are they informed or in a naïve #BeKind bubble?

Lins77 · 23/07/2025 10:24

I agree best ignored, it's a fad and will pass. Seeking identity is a key feature of this age group, and currently that is all about LGBTQ++++ for many - in the past it might have been music or fashion, now it's all gender identity and sexuality.

My DD hit puberty early and cycled rapidly through various "identities", none of which persisted.

Mumteedum · 23/07/2025 10:22

Her parents are not keeping an eye on her online activity enough. Not good.

TheKeatingFive · 23/07/2025 10:19

I doubt she has any real idea what she means by that.

Just ignore.

ErrolTheDragon · 23/07/2025 10:10

She’s a child putting on a costume, I think. Posing in words borrowed from other people that she doesn’t understand (well, they’re not exactly meaningful). When you see her ignore it and do something fun and age appropriate with her.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 23/07/2025 10:08

Kids have always latched on to whatever the current trend is in order to feel popular or special. It will pass.

Womblingmerrily · 23/07/2025 10:06

I would totally ignore the pansexual demigirl and just continue being a lovely supportive aunt.

Treat it like a bad haircut that she will hopefully grow out of ie. don't mention it in any way.