Inappropriate comments at work - help me explain why

I agree with this.

An incident 4 years ago (which has already been dealt with?) and saying he prostitutes himself?

When used as a verb, prostitute also means 'to use yourself or your abilities or beliefs in a way that does not deserve respect, especially in order to get money'. It's just not a sexual word in this context.

Not worthy of involving HR imo.

Keep a log though if there is other stuff you feel is worthy of reporting.

Hi. This is not ok, but you know that!

This link from ACAS is really useful. It's important to note that the comments do not have to be intended to be harassment, the fact that they have caused offence is enough.

ACAS Sexual Harassment.

I have personal experience of this myself (and had a great lawyer friend on my side) and now in a new company and just done the training.

I must be rhe only person who wouldn't be at all bothered by those couple of comments. I hope you have a bit more to use because to conplaint to hr about those "incidents' in my opinion are a massive over reaction.

i think all you need to do is quote him… he speaks for himself 😆😆

In the meeting, tell them his conduct is offensive and appalling and he needs a stern, verbal warning not to speak to you like that.

He needs to learn to communivate appropriatly and to stop being a moron.

I bet he says he's not sexist, too...

While the mat. leave comments were some time ago it may be worth raising to show that this is part of a pattern rather than an isolated incident. It will also mean that HR will be aware of preexisting issue should he say similar to any other women in the futures.

I don't think you do need to articulate why, I would just give HR the facts i.e. the things he has actually said. Very likely they already know; if it's a usual thing for him then others will have heard him speak this way.

Tbh if he’s making comments about women coming back from mat leave etc I’d pick my battles and raise one of those rather than using the word prostitute. It would be much easier to argue the point about.

Bog standard bullying with a dash of direct discrimination

The following characteristics are protected characteristics—

• age;
• disability;
• gender reassignment;
• marriage and civil partnership;
• pregnancy and maternity;
• race;
• religion or belief;
• sex;
• sexual orientation.

training your wife
assuming you are married and a wife?

Then he is sneering your PC sex and your PC married

telling me coming back from maternity as I was asking questions that 'this is why women shouldn't come back from maternity leave' etc.

That is about as hostile a work environment as a woman can come back into.
And if others are hearing and are not closing that BS down the company have a big problem.

'a prostitute of the IT world'

Sexual harrassment by creating a hostile work environment.
And not exactly a nice branding image either.

And you dont have to explain justify why the actions and words make you feel anything.

You are saying he is being unprofessional in the workplace.

Its up to HR to rebut.

Ask HR to justify how what he said falls with in the professional conduct expected in a professional office.

You are there to work so banter is not a get out of jail, any comment in that direction can be shut down with "we are not friends we just work together and I would like HR to spend some time training staff (not just him) on respectful professional conduct"

It becomes a constructive dismissal issue if it is a cultural norm in the office to give women hassle.

ChatGPT is good for this kind of thing.

"1. Frame it with clarity and professionalism:

I’d like to raise concerns about a pattern of inappropriate comments made by [colleague’s name] that I believe create a hostile and unprofessional work environment, particularly for women.

1. Address each type of comment and explain why it’s a problem

Sexist or undermining maternity leave

He has made comments implying that women who return from maternity leave are less capable or out of touch. For example, when I asked a question after returning, he said, ‘This is why women shouldn’t come back from maternity leave.’ This comment was not only unprofessional, it was sexist, and it undermined my credibility in front of colleagues. It reinforces outdated stereotypes about working mothers and creates a culture of exclusion.

'Training your wife' remarks

He’s also made remarks along the lines of ‘training your wife’ which are deeply misogynistic and objectify women. These kinds of jokes normalize power imbalances and disrespect in relationships, and they don’t belong in a professional environment.”

'Prostitute of the IT world'

In a recent meeting where I was the only woman present, he referred to himself as ‘a prostitute of the IT world’ in reference to being a consultant. This not only brought inappropriate sexual language into the workplace, it made me feel extremely uncomfortable. As the only woman in the room, I was left feeling isolated, as though I was expected to tolerate language that wouldn’t be acceptable in any professional setting.

1. Emphasize the broader impact:

Taken together, these comments create an environment where it feels harder to be taken seriously as a woman, and where sexist attitudes are allowed to go unchecked. It affects my confidence in contributing in meetings, and it sends a message that this kind of behaviour is tolerated.”

I'd personally take out the bits about affecting confidence but the broad framework and comments seem sound.

You don't need any more depth. You should not have to be subject to comments of a sexual nature in the workplace. Its harassment.

Because prostitute is a sexual word. Sex has no place in your line of work.