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Original poster

Gussies Grips' Grandfather. Door to door merkin salesman.

144 replies

lechiffre55 · 09/07/2025 22:04

Popped up on my FB feed.
I'm gonna pretend this is an ancestor of Elaine Miller's.
Fair play he appears to believe in his product enough to wear one himself.

Gussies Grips' Grandfather. Door to door merkin salesman.
OP posts:
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24
SidewaysOtter · 11/07/2025 16:50

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2025 16:07

That hem is a sore subject.

I'd say it's not been done properly, then. Have you checked you didn't leave a tacking pin in it? Cos that will SMART.

(Avoids jokes about little pricks down there)

SidewaysOtter · 11/07/2025 16:49

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2025 16:27

😍

Do the wild Tunnocks live in the field next to the wild haggis hill?

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I'd heard that. Trapping them is quite the art, it requires their preferred bait and a LOT of patience as they can be awfully flighty.

POWNewcastleEastWallsend · 11/07/2025 16:28

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2025 16:27

😍

Do the wild Tunnocks live in the field next to the wild haggis hill?

Show quote history

Reported for doxing!

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2025 16:27

POWNewcastleEastWallsend · 11/07/2025 16:25

"Ragged Merkin Edge"

Hard hitting, no holds barred expose of hand to mouth survival from the Trossachs to the Adirondacks.

"Some days all I had to eat were wild Tunnocks that I caught and skinned with my bare hands".

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Unputdownable!

Show quote history

😍

Do the wild Tunnocks live in the field next to the wild haggis hill?

POWNewcastleEastWallsend · 11/07/2025 16:25

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2025 16:07

That hem is a sore subject.

"Ragged Merkin Edge"

Hard hitting, no holds barred expose of hand to mouth survival from the Trossachs to the Adirondacks.

"Some days all I had to eat were wild Tunnocks that I caught and skinned with my bare hands".

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Unputdownable!

Boiledbeetle · 11/07/2025 16:07

That hem is a sore subject.

Gussies Grips' Grandfather. Door to door merkin salesman.
ArabellaScott · 11/07/2025 15:50

Hemming merkins is not a job for a hot day, that's all I'm saying.

JanesLittleGirl · 11/07/2025 15:45

Boiledbeetle · 10/07/2025 23:40

I do

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Thanks for posting it again. It made me laugh just as much as the first time that you posted it.

SidewaysOtter · 11/07/2025 15:22

I think you'd get a fair few - after all, it's a tessellating shape so little fabric wastage. I suppose it would depend on whether they need hemming...

(It is possible I'm over thinking this)

POWNewcastleEastWallsend · 11/07/2025 15:02

SidewaysOtter · 10/07/2025 23:09

£3 a metre in Hobbycraft so at a rough conversion rate from Euro to GBP, I'd say that's 2.47m metres of fabric. How many merkins to the metre do you get?

Edited
Show quote history

"How many merkins to the metre do you get?"

😂🤣😂

inkymoose · 11/07/2025 01:57

ArabellaScott · 10/07/2025 17:38

What are they, merkins for MICE?

🐭🔻🤣

inkymoose · 11/07/2025 01:43

Boiledbeetle · 10/07/2025 11:57

The pub does a stand up comedy night.

I see Elaine is doing a funny turn.

Or having a funny turn I'm not sure!

🤣😳

Boiledbeetle · 10/07/2025 23:42

SidewaysOtter · 10/07/2025 23:09

£3 a metre in Hobbycraft so at a rough conversion rate from Euro to GBP, I'd say that's 2.47m metres of fabric. How many merkins to the metre do you get?

Edited
Show quote history

The merkin on the bunting fits on the front of a 5 inch square card so....

Fuck knows

Boiledbeetle · 10/07/2025 23:40

JanesLittleGirl · 10/07/2025 22:38

@Boiledbeetle Do you still have your picture of the merkin bunting?

I do

Gussies Grips' Grandfather. Door to door merkin salesman.
SidewaysOtter · 10/07/2025 23:09

Boiledbeetle · 10/07/2025 21:41

How much is fun fur by the yard, bloody metric, metre these days?

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£3 a metre in Hobbycraft so at a rough conversion rate from Euro to GBP, I'd say that's 2.47m metres of fabric. How many merkins to the metre do you get?

TheAutumnCrow · 10/07/2025 22:58

Merkin tartan sounds like it could have its uses, if someone would like to place it for sale online asap.

JanesLittleGirl · 10/07/2025 22:38

@Boiledbeetle Do you still have your picture of the merkin bunting?

Boiledbeetle · 10/07/2025 21:41

MarieDeGournay · 10/07/2025 21:37

Anyone remember Je t'aime, moi non plus, by Jane Merkin and Serge Gainsbourg?

I just spotted this :
Jane Birkin’s original Hermès handbag sells for record €8.6m at Paris auction
€8.6m would buy you a lot of merkin, wouldn't it?

How much is fun fur by the yard, bloody metric, metre these days?

MarieDeGournay · 10/07/2025 21:37

Anyone remember Je t'aime, moi non plus, by Jane Merkin and Serge Gainsbourg?

I just spotted this :
Jane Birkin’s original Hermès handbag sells for record €8.6m at Paris auction
€8.6m would buy you a lot of merkin, wouldn't it?

POWNewcastleEastWallsend · 10/07/2025 19:37

♬♪ Tunnocks you're mine completely ♬♪
You give your love so sweetly
Tunnocks the light of love is in your eyes
♬♪ But will you love me tomorrow ♬♪

Mmmnotsure · 10/07/2025 19:23

Stop it, the lot of you. Please. Choking here 😂

DialSquare · 10/07/2025 19:16

lcakethereforeIam · 10/07/2025 19:10

Beetles aren't bugs😡

They misspecied Boiled!

lcakethereforeIam · 10/07/2025 19:10

Beetles aren't bugs😡

Boiledbeetle · 10/07/2025 19:06

DialSquare · 10/07/2025 18:57

How rude!

😱

DialSquare · 10/07/2025 18:57

How rude!

Gussies Grips' Grandfather. Door to door merkin salesman.
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