Girls Using Walking Sticks

I understand that some ppl who believe they are disabled have not been diagnosed and that some of them will probably never meet the diagnostic criteria for the disorder they think they have. I think a few are consciously faking but most are distressed. Some of the distressed people unconsciously mimic disabilities.

The problem is that it also takes a very long time for many people to get diagnosed. It took me over four years to get an MRI for a spinal tumour. Until then, I was accused, even by doctors, of faking my symptoms. I had to go to psychotherapy for years before I finally convinced them to give me an MRI (something I had literally begged for in the beginning because I was in so much pain).

I know several women with similar stories. It is extremely common for women to be disbelieved and our problems written off as being hysterical overexaggeration or pure malingering that those silly wimz just automatically do for attention. So I am very sympathetic to women, esp young women, who are not believed about their disability.

I can very much hear how concerned you are about that. But I don't think there's any getting away from the fact that that girl in neon green with the blue hair and the tattooed face is just as likely to be disabled as anyone else. Why so certain she's not, just because of how she's presenting, or because there are a lot of other women with walking sticks who look like her? Do you not think it's a tad arrogant to assume it's nothing but a fashion statement?

If there are attractive walking sticks on the market, of course some young/fashion-conscious women are going to be drawn to them over a traditional stick. Assuming for a moment that these sticks are needed (because tbh I have a hunch most of them probably are), can you really not see what a bitter blow it could be for a young woman to need a walking stick, and how choosing a quirky stick might help cushion the blow a little? I'm not even convinced many young adults would want to use a stick if they didn't have to, regardless how a few influencers might position themselves. It'd be a frustrating thing to have to drag around all day just to appropriate a certain image. There are so many other ways for a young adult to look distinctive if they want to.

Here's a question. I've just started needing to use a stick from time to time myself in my late fifties due to RA and various other pain issues, and my new stick is purple with a floral pattern. On a bad day it's very much needed. Presumably I'm not jumping on the bandwagon too? No, I wouldn't be accused of that, would I, because I'm pushing 60 and it's less unusual for women of my age to need a walking aid. What I'm getting at is that I think there are a lot of assumptions made that just because someone is young means they can't possibly need support when walking. Sadly that's just not true.

Interesting. I realise you may not want to say and that's fine, but which part of Bristol? I am from and live in Bristol and haven't seen this trend at all amongst the younger ladies. I am probably the youngest lady I see using one of these sticks!

I'm a different generation (mid 40s). I have one of these sticks which I bought to help me with a debilitating and diagnosed neurological issue causing muscle tightness, poor balance and stiffness after an adverse reaction to an antipsychotic medication I was on for MH issues back in my 20s. I sometimes keep my stick in a bag or sometimes use it and lean heavily on it (cannot stand for any length of time). My team at the Rosa Burden (Southmead Hospital) don't want to me to rely on it all the time, but I still fall if I'm not careful (or sometimes even if I am). I am obese so I think people must assume I use it for joint issues.

I do wear a lanyard, and carry a disabled bus pass. I happen to also have been in treatment for CPTSD, OCD and BPD/EUPD for a number of years.

I had no idea I was so fashionable!! 😂

Are you autistic, @Serencwtch?

Because I am (formally diagnosed by the NHS, before you ask) and so is my DD (who uses Neowalk sticks for joint hypermobility issues).

My 'patronizing and ignorant view of autism' is my personal lived experience as an autistic person. Sorry if it doesn't match YOUR view of autism.

And my entire post was about ADHD, anyway. 🤣

Yes, this is feeling pretty pointless now so let's leave it. The cancer analogy was intended to demonstrate why it's not 'precious' to mind being asked if a diagnosis is formal, but you don't seem open to my point and I don't personally agree that the phenomenon under discussion is problematic, so I agree the conversation has run its course.

The way the word is used now, in the sense of 'identity politics', is a neologism. Only around for about a decade, and symptomatic of collective mania. People in the past, even obsessive ones, didn't 'identify' as nationalists or anorexics or cyclists or whatever.

Of course identity isn't a new made up thing!! How odd

Actually being disabled for a start. Not buying a walking stick as some attention seeking fashion accessory because having blue hair, wearing neon green dungarees, tattooing your face and telling everyone you’re so quirky isn’t special enough anymore.

People on this thread can’t wrap their heads around disability appropriation being a real thing. It is a real thing, it’s really happening. It’s offensive and dangerous.

I think some of the conflict that has arisen on this thread is because some have taken it upon themselves to castigate others and attempt to close down conversations - and as those who post here regularly will know, this is something we have become very much accustomed to though emananting from different quarters. It kind of feels the same, though.

What's your definition of the word disabled, then? Presumably if you think the meaning's being eroded then the word must have a very specific meaning for you?

Lots of people self diagnose with various neurological disorders these days ( ADHD, Autism etc), and as you must know certain neurological disorders are classed as disabilities.

I'm not sure why there is so much preciousness in relation to someone asking whether someone have a formal diagnosis and what that is? It is just information, surely....which helps strangers on an internet forum get a sense for your condition.

As I see it the OP post was not about the 'demographics' of walking stick use, but about the steep upsurge in young women using walking aids and how this might relate to 'identity'. A subtle difference, and one about which we are going to have to disagree. So, maybe you can continue with your own separate theme with others who are interested in it, whilst others can continue on theirs?

I'm not sure there is anything to be gained by further dialogue with you on this board.

It’s part of her personality. Identity is a new made up thing.

I like walking, reading and gardening. I don’t identify as a walker, reader or gardener.

As far as I'm concerned it isn't possible to separate a question about the demographics of walking stick usage from the wider issue of disability in general. It's inevitable that some people have shared what they have considered to be relevant information about their own experiences, especially considering how inflammatory/flippant/scathing various people on this thread have been on the topic. And it seems a bit rich that you're now trying to dictate that we are not to share disability experiences on here, when upthread you were grilling a pp about their condition and whether it was 'formally diagnosed' and then labelled them touchy for wondering why you should ask that. 🤔

You commented upthread that people sometimes lie about having cancer, which sadly some do; however, most decent human beings wouldn't dream of asking if a cancer patient was 'formally diagnosed', or say anything else that even hinted they might not really have cancer. Why then are disabled people expected to constantly justify themselves to others, let alone put up with a constant barrage of scepticism, sneering and accusations of attention-seeking etc etc such as has been seen on this thread? (I don't just mean your posts btw.)

Like I said before, if people don't want disability discussed on FWR, they shouldn't discuss disability on FWR. You can't honestly expect a thread topic of this nature not to lead to a wider discussion of disability, regardless of whereabouts on MN it's positioned.

It's not a competition though for who is more disabled than someone else. Everyone has their own different experiences and they are all valid. Just because you may not know exactly what someone else's disability is and because it doesn't look the same as yours doesn't make it less true. There are so so many different conditions people live with it's impossible to know how each person is affected. I got one am really glad that disabled people are getting out and about in the community, wearing lovely colourful clothes and hair styles and feeling good about themselves instead of being shut away like they used to be.

Edit to add sorry my post was more in response to @apples24

I have a hidden disability that affects my joints. Some days I’m ok but other days especially if I’m walking on uneven ground I need a stick as I have a tendency to fall over

Aside from everything else, what’s the problem with AuDHD? As someone with (professionally diagnosed!) autism and ADHD, it’s an easy shorthand for the combination of symptoms I experience. Considering the amount of people who have both conditions, it’s understandable that people shorten it when discussing their experiences. I wish the term had been around when I was younger, because it makes conversation around experiences with both conditions so much easier than it used to be!

I'm dropping in and then out of this thread (I did have an inner 'Uh-oh!' when I saw it posted initially, even though (I think) I realised what point the OP was trying to make - and I have a lot of sympathy with it, while at the same time knowing that this was going to be taken the wrong way and turn into a bit of a bunfight....). I am very concerned about disability being used as yet another 'tribe' to identify into by people who shouldn't.

However. I wasn't going to get into all that! I just wanted to say to apples24 that it's really interesting that her disabled husband has observed, and feels strongly about, the phenomenon of disability becoming a 'fuzzily' defined thing. And that it has negative implications for him.

My younger son is severely autistic. More and more, I find myself explaining his behaviour/meltdowns/impulses as 'he has learning disabilities' (which is also true) because whenever I say to a stranger 'he has autism' they either say 'oh right, so's my nephew, he's ever so quirky and talks the back leg off a donkey' (DS doesn't talk) or gives me a bit of a because they think they know what 'autism' looks like, and it isn't like my extremely uninhibited, chaotic, obsessive and stimming son.

I really DO feel that the massive tide of very capable young people (as well as adults who've been functioning fairly well in mainstream society for decades) self-identifying as autistic or ADHD or even this fecking new abbreviation AuADHD are not helping. It's something you need diagnosed by a professional. While not wanting to downplay the experiences of genuinely autistic, if high-functioning (not even allowed to use that term now!) young people, the young folk who are self-ID 'autists' should try living alongside my son for a week, and then think about it again.

That's debatable - personality Vs identity. To say identity is dangerously close to obsession is rather extreme. People do have their own identities, their own values etc.

People observe trends all the time without there being any hard evidence for them. That’s what we are discussing here: the observation of a trend. The lack of “evidence”doesn’t mean it’s not a thing.

That's personality, not identity. Identity lives dangerously close to obsession.

It is a part of your identity though. You gravitate to this board, obviously amongst other things you're interested in. I'm sure disabled people have plenty of interests too and being disabled is just a part of their identity. It's natural for people to form groups, and identify with each other when they have something in common.

True. Though it's not difficult, if you look occasionally at trans/queer message boards, to find people asking "what's with all the young AFABs using walking sticks these days?"

They're almost there...

The world of online chronic illness influencers is a whole thing by itself, but there are obvious parallels to other things vulnerable young women get into.

@PleaseStopMeowing And people will always gravitate to identities and group, e.g. women on here have a GC identity and gravitate to the same events and conferences etc.

I am gender critical/gender atheist/sex realist.

That isn't an identity. I don't have an identity, I'm just an intermittently hard working woman muddling my way through life.

I gravitate to events and conferences about crafts and gardens and wildlife and history and archaeology and local studies and religion.

I wouldn't have time for an identity.

I'd rather have young women identity into needing Neo sticks than taking testosterone or getting their healthy breasts removed.

Exactly that. And they cannot be challenged under any circumstances because they have a pretty stick.