Girls Using Walking Sticks

Break down which of these are a choice and which are legitimate protected conditions and I might take you seriously.

Yes exactly. That was one way in 2016 of showing you have a hidden disability and they were to be taken at face value.

New? They were introduced in 2016

Yes, I knew a young, trans person at my DC's Uni who had:

Walking stick, sunflower lanyard, POTS, fibromyalgia, ADHD, non-binary, EDS, autism, C-PTSD, emotional support dog, PIP, dungarees, brightly dyed hair, misophonia

Plus largely estranged from their parents 😥

I expect unwell people are more likely to be drawn to bright colours and soft toys and things because life is tough and a lot of time is spent housebound/bed bound.

I spend a fair bit on soft furnishings, accessories, pictures for the walls, flowe delivery, etc because I spend so much time at home. I don't get to do a lot of the things I would love to do. So I will lift my mood in what ever way I like.

I know. My dad was on the same for his auto immune disease and ballooned up. I’d never judge anyone on their weight at all. Steroids are awful.

I bet nobody ever judged my dad btw. Talk about misogyny. It’s women who are judged

Can you explain what the ‘leaning hard’ aspect means? I have never done this on my walking stick in my life

Agreed. This is a really awful thread!

My daughter has a partial visual impairment due to damage to her optic nerves and so feels vulnerable in crowded places and when it’s busy. She was given a white stick which she can use to hold against her body (not a walking stick) as a sign that she needs more space and she does use it sometimes. It makes very little difference as far as I can see but it does make her feel safer. You wouldn’t know to look at her that she is disabled. So much judgement and ableism on this thread!

I use a stick but I’m obviously older and no-one would ever mistake me for young.

my DD also uses a stick and has blue hair, loves plushies and soft toys and has a serious auto immune disorder.

i presume people are suggesting it’s social contagion but honestly I don’t see what’s wrong with using a walking stick.

It's ok, we now know we are allowed to be disabled but we have to wait till we are older and we must have natural coloured hair and only wear beige clothes from Next.
It's important we know the rules about acceptable disability.

I used a wheelchair in childhood, then a walking frame and then a stick into my early 20’s.

Of course every busy body nosy cow felt it entirely appropriate to stop me in the street and ask “what’s wrong with your legs” as though my youth somehow made my disability questionable.

Look up the trend for men and boys barging and crashing into women. It's happened to me.

It may be they feel that carrying something like that could put the bastards off.

Women used to wield hatpins with such ferocity against 'mashers' that their length became restricted.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/hatpin-peril-terrorized-men-who-couldnt-handle-20th-century-woman-180951219/

It could be a 21st century version of that.

Or it could simply be you've noticed that some people who don't 'look' disabled are carrying aids for getting around - and to indicate that they do in fact need facilities and consideration even though it may not look like it.

Or it may simply be ... fashion. People have carried canes, parasols, swagger sticks, swords. And worn bustles, hobble skirts, platforms, winkle pickers, ruffs and enormous wigs for fashion.

This is a shocking thread. I am saddened by the ableism throughout. Awful for those using mobility aids to feel they have to justify themselves.

The world would be boring if everyone dressed the same wouldn't it.

It's a same people are so small minded/insecure that they judge.

I dress fairly boringly but some of the most brilliant and caring people I know dress unconventionally.

Sunflower lanyards have been widely abused. Particularly during covid, I was on a train with a bunch of people who were all laughing about how they were using those lanyards to stop themselves being challenged for their refusal to wear a mask.

I wasn't wearing a mask either, they caused me horrendous panic attacks. The behaviour of those people stopped me wearing a lanyard which, up until then, I'd been considering as an indicator that my mask-less state was for a good reason. I absolutely didn't want to be lumped in with people like them and I was bloody angry at them.

That isn't to say that they are never genuinely used, but - as with the other issues highlighted on this thread - they are misused by some. But instead of being angry at those who misuse them and therefore devalue them, it's easier to be angry at those who point out the misuse

Sounds a lot like a genuinely neurodivergent family to me, in which case the noise cancelling headphones could be a quite reasonable tool to avoid sensory overload and stress. There's over a 5 year waiting list in my area for child assessment for autism and ADHD - parents with any common sense and knowledge of neurodivergencies end up making adjustments well before the diagnoses come through when they realise what their child needs to thrive. My autistic child is unable to function in school without similar tools and adjustments, and was constantly having multi-hour meltdowns every day until their sensory needs were met.

Many neurodivergent people do not comply with fashion norms and ADHD can be linked to obesity due to difficulty with impulse control and food being a source of dopamine. I personally need to wear certain clothing styles to avoid being constantly distracted by sensory issues (not dungarees, I can't stand dungarees!), and seeing bright colours significantly helps my depression, and oddly seems to help with my concentration and focus - I'm far more distractible and prone to daydreaming and forgetfulness in visually bland environments. Also, not everyone likes grey and beige.

What that family wears or their use of sensory aids is not harming anyone, and it's potentially ableist to be mocking them.

They can’t - hence why some people may be using a walking stick as a visible sign . I think the sunflower lanyard is used in some instances but I’m not sure if this is for specifics like ASD.

The lanyards that have been roundly mocked on this thread?

The new sunflower lanyard perhaps. Show you have a disability.

Hello again

I am one of the earlier posters, a crutch user for over 10 years who is delighted to be on trend and not upset by this thread as having CP gets you used to comments and funny looks - and CP helps develops your sense of humour.

On a serious note - if any one uses a stick they don't really need and have not had it prescribed for them by OT - please don't as it can do untold damage to your back over time.

Just as bad is those ( like me) who resist using sticks and crutches and end up with spinal stenosis and arthritis because they thought limping and lurching on their bad legs looked better than the embarrassment of being seen with crutches.

Occupational therapy or NHS physio will tell you what you need - I just wish someone had spelt out to me how not using crutches would cause so much spinal damage - and of course increased falls.

I know you are saying this to make a point ...
But for the avoidance of doubt, a lot of people with my condition are treated with prednisolone and put on a lot of weight. "Luckily" I reacted very badly to prednisolone so was only on it for about 6 months before I had to taper , but in that time I ballooned (mainly water retention I think as it fell off as I tapered) and I will never forget the people who judged me so much for having limited mobility and being large. At a time when I was so unwell it was an additional awful layer of cruelty

Yeah, the generalised judgement here makes me uncomfortable.

I am autistic, ADHD, and hypermobile amongst other health issues. Unfortunately, the truth is that for many of these are simply comorbid conditions; they don't tend to come alone. As people here know, there is a huge overlap between being autistic and identifying as trans, but equally there is an emerging overlap between being autistic and having EDS, autoimmune conditions, hypermobility and other related conditions. Naturally, you are therefore more likely to see young people who fit into these groups using canes and other mobility aids than young people outside of them.

I have a few friends who are simultaneously autistic, trans, and use mobility aids to help with invisible disabilities. Equally, I have non-trans autistic friends who are similarly disabled, and autistic friends who aren't disabled. Some have brightly-coloured hair, some wear "wacky" fashion, some don't. Some use mobility aids all the time, others intermittently. Some wear sunflower lanyards, others don't. I've had to use a cane myself to combat chronic pain in the past, and thankfully I haven't had to recently. If I do have another flare-up I imagine many people would look at me the same way; they have before. I know I'm not faking my disabilities, and I know my friends aren't faking theirs either, but none of us are carrying round doctor's notes to prove it to anyone who fancies a question. Some of my disabled friends refuse to use aids at all to avoid the judgement.

The truth is that nobody can tell from sight alone whether or not someone's disability is "legitimate," but in all honesty you shouldn't be trying to guess that at all. This kind of judgement, as demonstrated by disabled people on this thread, only serves to hurt all disabled people. We already face enough judgement and doubt, especially with the recent discussions around PIP.

It's not your business. Leave it to people's doctors.

I’ll tell you what I see a lot of, not young people with sticks but middle aged overweight people with sticks.

Am I allowed to judge them and say I bet there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re just a fatty and if they lost some weight they’d feel a lot better. Bet they don’t need the stick at all, they’re just using it so people think they’re ill and have an excuse for their weight. Same with the fatties in mobility scooters. There’s literally one stood opposite me now, fatty mcfatty with a stick aged about 40.

is that OK to say? No of course not and if I started a thread saying that I’d rightly be jumped on. But it’s fine to snigger at younger disabled people 🤷🏻‍♀️

And yet, take me as an example. For 20 years I was judged and put in this box. Until an eagle eyed optician noticed a clue - my ptosis, and wrote a robust letter to m GP. It turned out there was a very real cause for all my symptoms. A neuromuscular junction disorder.

And there's a misogynistic element to this too as women tend to find it harder to get doctors to listen and get the right tests than men do, so we are more likely to be lumped in this category

And of course past doctors and past employers and old friends never learn that actually there was a reason after all. So they go round assuming they knew someone who was just enjoying pretending to be ill.

But people on this thread are making judgements about people with walking sticks and saying that’s what they do. Making judgements about people with certain diagnoses and saying that’s what they do. With no evidence or proof. People they don’t know who they’re passing in the street.

so yes, it puts me off using a stick. It puts me off telling people what’s wrong with me because I know some people like the idiots on this thread will think I’m an attention seeking drama llama who’s making it all up and making it my persona.