The socially-acceptable misogyny towards porn “stars”, such as Bonnie Blue

But risk of harm isn’t the same thing though, is it?

I completely agree there is risk of harm but that doesn’t mean it’s inevitable, and it doesn’t mean that she can’t make a deliberate and calculated decision, weighing up potential risks and benefits and making her own choices.

As it stands, there’s nothing to suggest she’s been harmed. She’s decided that she wants lots of money and she’s ok with making it this way.

I hate the fact that it sounds as if I’m defending her because I’m not. I think the whole situation is abhorrent.

I’m just struggling with the idea that a woman can’t make immoral lifestyle choices without being “troubled”.

She may end up with a jaded view of men but I think there are plenty of us who reach the same point without doing porn.

I’m not sure about that tbh.

Some women seem to be able to completely separate sex and emotions, and view the sex industry in all its forms as a perfectly valid career choice.

Bonnie Blue views herself as a good role model for female empowerment.

Inconceivable though it may seem to most of us, I think it’s perfectly possible that Bonnie Blue will be fine. Her mum is her manager so she doesn’t have to worry about her family finding out and she has support.

I despair that our society supports this kind of behaviour but that is a whole different point.

I can’t see that she is harmed.

There is serious risk of harm, for various reasons, both physical and mental. The comparisons it brings to mind generally are not something I want to go into, but can be seen in war crimes.

Agree. Their behaviour is deplorable, as is anyone who goes near them.

With regards to sex or anything at all?

Strange, every Monday morning I think I can't be arsed to go to work and then I remember my boss is gonna pay me, and suddenly I don't mind the thought of going in you could even say I do it willingly.

And I don't think it will escape these women either, I honestly think in years to come their mental health will suffer.

I would say most women if they had countless men having sex with them( not taking part BTW these men are inserting themselves in , ) would be affected by this,

Well, it's consensual.
And before anyone does the old 'you can't consent where money is involved' crap, of course you can. Stop taking away their agency!

But is it harming her though? Or is she making a calculated decision about where her priorities lie ie/making money?

Lots of people do jobs where there is real damage done to their health long-term. Tangible damage that can be objectively proven. I can’t see that’s particularly the case here.

Bonnie Blue has decided she wants both fame and fortune and is happy to achieve this using sex - and given the pornification of society, there is a real opportunity for her.

We view this as harming her because it’s all pretty abhorrent. But she achieves her goals and objectively, I can’t see that she is harmed.

If this was a man, there wouldn’t be the same labels about mental health and him harming himself.

As I said above, the entire conversation around Bonnie Blue feels misogynistic, in multiple ways.

I can say that while also believing they are horrible life choices and being sad that society has reached a point where this is what gets you wealth and fame.

And yet men are heralded as studs when they do the same…

That word is utterly misogynistic and illustrated how women are held to a different standard.

I think they should be called out, they’re a horrific influence on impressionable young people

I also judge the men and pity the women (especially with the mother being the financial manager 🤮) but I am also allowed to dislike them and their choices. I don’t name call them though.

" Calling Bonnie Blue troubled and damaged could equally be viewed as misogynistic, because are we saying that women are not allowed to make bad choices unless they are damaged somehow? "

"Women have choice so women must be able to choose to self harm especially for financial gain without any suspicion of illness."

Either women need to be taken care of like children at all times or they must be perfectly independent at all times. That's a horrible way for society to view women.
Women are fully grown complex humans.

Making a bad choice is one thing, making a bad choice which harms you is another, repeatedly making a bad choice which harms you consistently is quite a different beast which is more akin to addiction than wielding self determination.

For any other part of life we would recognise this but for sex, the liberalism ideal seems to be taken to extremes.

What is nasty about wanting to live in a less depraved society, with fewer people doing things that harm society

I don't think anyone anywhere has ever suggested these are feminist acts?!

I don't actually know what I think about this.

Calling Bonnie Blue troubled and damaged could equally be viewed as misogynistic, because are we saying that women are not allowed to make bad choices unless they are damaged somehow?

AFAIK, there's no suggestion that she had a difficult childhood. She worked in PoundStretcher until OnlyFans became a thing, and that's where it all started.

Bonnie Blue makes a fuck ton of money. She's loaded. She's not destitute. No one has forced her to do the truly revolting things that she has - I'm referring to having sex with 1000+ men in a single day. She would have made plenty of money sticking to Only Fans without resorting to such extreme behaviour.

I don't think Bonnie Blue loves the sex. Not in the slightest. But I do think that she's perhaps willing to view it as a commodity because she wants the wealth, and possibly the notoriety too?

There have been male gigolos since forever. They may not have had sex with 1000 women in a single day, but they certainly would have had thousands of sexual partners. Were they damaged too? Or just making equally morally reprehensible/poor choices?

I think the internet, pornification of society, and the evolution of OnlyFans has absolutely exacerbated things and we now have women who are increasingly casual about selling their bodies for male gratification.

As for the men who take part in all of this, I think we're all pretty much agreed that they're utterly disgusting. Using a woman's body in any way for your own pleasure is never OK. And I completely agree that there should be much more condemnation in their direction. But none of this detracts from Bonnie Blue's responsibility for her own behaviour.

I don't like or approve of what she does at all but I agree that the actual hate she gets is really unpleasant and unnecessary, says more about the nasty pieces of work dishing it out than it does her.

What these women are doing has nothing to do with 'liking sex'.

It is all about making money, getting publicity and gaining followers/subscribers.

It is deeply concerning and should absolutely be condemned.

They are not feminist icons, they are troubled and disturbed young women who are damaging their mind and body.

“Either someone can make their own choices, or they can’t”. I suppose if there is no nuance at all, no grey areas, no subtle psychology, no genetics, nurture, trauma or other things that push and pull us in life.

I remember chatting to a lovely woman who had almost exactly the same birth experience as I had. Almost exactly except for one thing. She heard someone say, “the baby is in trouble” or some variation of that. I believed DD was completely fine (I had a horrible time!). She had PTSD from her experience, I didn’t. One sentence at the wrong time.

If you think your choices wouldn’t be different if you were different, you’re simply wrong. We are all a mixture of our bodies, our minds and our experiences. I’ve been in a room with trauma-impacted young women. Half dress like boys, half like street sex workers. That is a choice, right? Or is it really? Has some experience pushed them either to identify out of their trauma, or self-harm embracing it?

I also worked in alcohol and drug treatment. Most people there had childhood trauma, about half had been sexually abused. Drinking is a choice though, you think?

Choice is sometimes easy, and it’s sometimes impossibly hard. Be thankful you didn’t find that out the hard way, I know I’m thankful.

@Cerialkiller yep , I can’t get my head around it either -

No I know and agree. Either someone can make their own choices or they can't. I suppose I'm sad for her too that this is what she feels she has to do for....what, money?attention?

I can't relate to any of it, struggling to understand the mentality which makes me wonder if I'm just being patronising towards another adult doing what they want.

I can't bring myself to read about this stuff beyond the basic headlines, because it's just off-the-scale sordid and depraved. I don't know how anyone can stand to even read about it, let alone watch videos of it. These women are inflicting serious, lifelong emotional damage on themselves for the sake of money and other sickos are enabling it. These women are normalising their abuse and the abuse of other women, they are making that abuse permissible, it is all sick. They need mental health and trauma support not more publicity.

Not ‘forced’. But I would be very very surprised these women haven’t experienced abuse in childhood. Statistically, they will have. Replaying trauma might not be forced but it certainly isn’t a free, enthusiastic choice.

@Cerialkiller as I said below- in neither case was it ‘forced’- so yep , I judge them - we nearly all judge about certain things if we are honest with ourselves -

Squalid is exactly the right word. I have try not to think about it all too much or it's too disturbing.