Page 17 | Living as a woman

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 2025-06-18T18:12:12+00:00

This is a thread for people to give examples of experiences which constitute "living as a woman". I'll go first. Peeing on a pregnant test and waiting anxiously to see whether a second line appears.

DialSquare · 18/06/2025 19:50

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Wetoldyousaurus · 18/06/2025 19:50

Having chronic, debilitating anaemia that only marginally responds to supplements and being repeatedly told it’s because… periods. Period. No funding to check for internal bleeding, no research on other possible causes.

Okiedokie123 · 18/06/2025 19:49

Everything I knew about an awful situation me and my then dh were experiencing being dismissed by others as "Naive and gullible" and "Okies silly way of organising things"

Imicola · 18/06/2025 19:49

Having your body decide to push a baby out when your cervix is not yet fully dilated, then shitting yourself on the trolley in the hallway when being urgently moved to the labour ward.

TimeForATerf · 18/06/2025 19:49

Peri-menopausal flooding when you work full time in a large open plan office and the office chairs are cream coloured faux leather.

not leaving the house alone after dark.

ZenNudist · 18/06/2025 19:48

WinterTrees · 18/06/2025 19:36

Feeling delirious with sleep deprivation, a raging fever, mastitis and a breast abscess. Being admitted to hospital and taking a two week old baby with you to keep up that constant feeding, even after your abscess has been lanced.

I will see you this particularly awful experience and raise you the first breast feed after the lancing of the abcess where I realise that milk doesn't just come out of your nipple but other ducts which, there being a gaping hole in your boob, dumps bloody milk on your baby's face at first let down.

I screamed and panicked. Ds got a bottle of formula that night.

Mastitis was a real low.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 18/06/2025 19:48

Being constantly groped at work and complaining to my manager who just said it's part of the job (no i didn't do sex work) I walked out there and then.

Being raped by my husband only it wasn't rape as it was legal at that point.

Original poster

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 18/06/2025 19:47

Bannedontherun · 18/06/2025 19:45

Being raped at 13 years old

I'm so sorry. No one should have to experience that.

OP posts:

Original poster

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 18/06/2025 19:46

Having a consultation with an anaesthetist in preparation for a D&C after my third pregnancy loss and being casually asked whether it was an abortion or a miscarriage.

OP posts:

Screamingabdabz · 18/06/2025 19:46

Being anxious on public transport or walking out at night as a lone woman.

Being in a meeting and your contribution being dismissed over the opinions of men.

Being invisible as an older woman because you’re no longer considered fuckable.

Ditto if you’re an overweight woman.

Wanting to kick a ball in a park when you’re a young girl but the football facility is dominated by boys.

Bannedontherun · 18/06/2025 19:45

Being raped at 13 years old

ZiriForThis1 · 18/06/2025 19:45

Not really being in a position to change a job while TTC, no matter how long it takes.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 18/06/2025 19:45

Having ectopic pregnancies, fallopian tubes removed and being told I probably couldn’t have children

BreadInCaptivity · 18/06/2025 19:45

Having a coil removed by a male doctor who insisted I didn’t need painkillers as I was screaming in agony feeling like barbed wire was being pulled out of me because it “shouldn’t hurt that much”.

Then remarked after that the coil had deteriorated and agreed it must have “stung a bit”.

Note: I walked home from the GP surgery with blood dripping down my legs and bled for 3 days afterwards.

user1471453601 · 18/06/2025 19:44

Apparently it also means starting threads to make fun of others

Waitwhat23 · 18/06/2025 19:44

The School repeatedly phoning me first as an emergency contact despite it stating clearly on all forms that my husband is first contact as he has better access to his phone during the working day.

localnotail · 18/06/2025 19:44

Agree on baby moving in belly. Best thing ever.

Mustreadabook · 18/06/2025 19:44

Fluffytoebeanz · 18/06/2025 19:36

Copied and pasted from my post on a different thread:
was thinking about this today. What is a female experience? It's not about how we dress or look or make up although there are those elements possibly. It's about being told you can't do stuff because you are a girl, to be told you can't have ADHD (insert other conditions) because you are a girl, to have pain dismissed, to be told you are a drama queen or too much, or too pushy, to deal with the embarrassment of a period leaking, to be patronised. To not get a job because you are not pushy enough. To be groped in the tube, to have NO ignored. To be told you are crazy when you question a man's behaviour. To be told to make sure you have your keys in your hand when you walk home at night, to have men call you a "fat c*nt" because you dare to call them out on their behaviour. Domestic, emotional and physical abuse. The list goes on and on.

I'm sorry but living as a woman by wearing dresses and make up for any amount of years is not living the female experience.

And adding the Biggie for me - going through treatment for cervical cancer, campaigning for the HPV vaccine to have the charity I worked do hard for to start talking about people with cervixes. Not women

But it must be the dresses that people want. Apart from having babies (and associated anatomy and hormones) and wearing dresses, I can’t think of anything else I do that a man can/does not.

Original poster

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 18/06/2025 19:43

tripleginandtonic · 18/06/2025 19:42

Feeling your baby move around inside you. The very best experience.

Oh yes. 🤩

How could I forget that one?

OP posts:

Original poster

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 18/06/2025 19:42

Walking round the flat in the middle of the night with a haakaa filled with warm salty water attached to one boob in a desperate attempt to unclog a blocked milk duct.

OP posts:

PennyAnnLane · 18/06/2025 19:42

Things I’ve done that no man ever has:

Having periods
Getting pregnant
Giving birth
Breastfeeding

Things men have done that I never will:

Pee on the toilet seat
Put the bins out

tripleginandtonic · 18/06/2025 19:42

Feeling your baby move around inside you. The very best experience.

localnotail · 18/06/2025 19:41

Being told when I was 6 or 7 that I need to be quiet, polite, clean and tidy and if I'm not, no one will like me. Being sexually assaulted in a public toilet when I was 12. Being told I'm a freak (and suspecting it myself) because had no boobs or period until I was 15. Having my boobs grabbed hard by a random man when I was 20. Being asked at 25 a job interview if I'm planning to have kids.

Pleasantsort · 18/06/2025 19:41

Boiledbeetle · 18/06/2025 19:36

You were lied to.

I took Topirimate (now take Sumatriptan) in my early 40s, still possible for me to get pregnant at the time but no birth control required.

Show quote history

I've been on it for a few years and just this year, they made me have a coil put in cos I apparently can still get preggers ! The drug companies are now insisting on it and that you sign a form. I asked them what if you aren't in a relationship or a nun or something and they said, you still have to have the coil or injection. Thought I'd get the Mirena as heard it would finish off my periods once and for all. Thankfully, it has !

Imicola · 18/06/2025 19:41

WinterTrees · 18/06/2025 19:36

Feeling delirious with sleep deprivation, a raging fever, mastitis and a breast abscess. Being admitted to hospital and taking a two week old baby with you to keep up that constant feeding, even after your abscess has been lanced.

Ah no, been there too with the breat abscess, but i was pumping (not for much longer after I was admitted to hospital). Excrutiating.