Trans sibling in law

OP your post describes someone who sounds quite vulnerable. Does she have support, a network of friends, at all?

Human beings cannot change sex. There is no medical or surgical treatment that can turn a male into a female, or vice versa. All the doctors can do is give them replacement hormones (but as soon as they stop taking them, their own biological hormone system will take over again), and produce a poor imitation of the genitalia the trans people want - they can’t create a functional vagina or penis. They can’t change a person’s skeleton, musculature, endocrine system or chromosomes.

Anyone telling people that they can actually change sex is, in my view, being cruel and dishonest.

You mean calling transgender people as "men in dresses" is not hate?

Wild take. But very fitting for this place. I guess if you redefine hate enough, you can live in it all the time and not even know it.

Trans people can spot performative support from miles away, faking it won't work.

You've got to truly, truly believe that she's changed sex!

Don’t be silly no one hates trans people.

Disagree with their world view but not hate.

Please do report any hate to MN.

I think OP you’ll have to go along with it (although I seriously doubt you can just rock up in Berlin and get anything you want on their health service - likely you’ll have to work there first and with Brexit that’s not more complicated).

Will you see them much ? I would just use their name - chosen name or birth name depending on their choice but keep my thoughts to yourself as it’s really not your place to say anything.

Do you actually have to do anything?
I know this sounds selfish because it is really sad that young autistic girls are being pulled into this horror, and I know I would find it very hard to watch, but you don't have to refer to her by any particular pronoun - just use her name - and you dont have to say anything positive or talk about it at all.
Unless you think you are someone that is very important to her and to whom she might listen if you were to gently question...

She has plans to go overseas and transition in germany where apparently you can get surgeries on the public health system while living with her grandpa.

That's not how the German health system works. She'd have to join a health insurance in some fashion. My entire family lives in Germany, that doesn't mean I could rock up there and receive medical treatment other than emergency ones.

Refuse to play along with it. Not pandering to delusions might be the best way to help her.

If you want genuine help, ask on a place that will actually want to help you maintain a relationship with them, like reddit's asktransgender here people will just help you to completely ruin your relationship in promotion of their hatred.

And the reality is that you have to decide, do you want to keep your hate against trans people, or are you willing to genuinely accept your new brother in law and learn. Trans people can spot performative support from miles away, faking it won't work. But if you genuinely are willing to show effort to accept them as they are, they will help you and guide you through it.

If not, well, enjoy being excluded from their life very quickly.

I will give you a starting point on learning to accept checklis:

> Are people really happy identifying as another gender when they wouldn't look like the other gender?

Being transgender isn't a choice, it's a hand you are dealt and have to deal with, and the best treatment for it is coming out and acceptance, for many that also includes all sort of medical interventions but it's not necessary.

If you will keep thinking that it's a choice, or that they are not aware of the presentation issue, but persevere despite it as otherwise the life is just not worth living... Well, that's the performative support trans people just do not fall for, not for any length of time.

You can also DM me if you want to speak more openly in private.

Oh don’t talk rubbish

of course there are others on MN that will agree with you….

You don't have to react.

Of course they wont. That will be because SHE is still the OPs sister in law.

Yes, HE is now your brother in law. But nobody else in MN will agree with me.