How to talk about 'trans-girl' in my son's class.

No, her “ issue” is that she believes in reality and finds truth to be important.

Forcing a child to be complicit in blatant lying is horrific, I would never lie about basic scientific facts, and wouldn’t ever force my child to, either.

I'm sure I heard Ireland take a firmer view on biological sex in schools for things like toilets, changing, sport etc. though that may have changed. Won't directly affect your son and he clearly knows the truth about this boy.

I wouldn’t go along with it, why should you? He’s a boy, he knows he’s a boy, the school know he’s a boy, the other children know he’s a boy, if that upsets him then the problem isn’t that he can’t control other people’s thoughts and speech, it’s that he’s pretending to be something he’s not and that is an awful
situation to allow a child to be in. It’s much kinder to help him accept reality.

Totally agree that the issue isn't whether your son understands, or agrees with the child being trans or not.

The issue is that your son is being mean to a child because he doesn't like them and deliberately going for their most sensitive characteristics. It's bullying. And yes, 6 year olds can be bullies.

This is very common in Ireland.
Gender woo is the new religion we are all mutely following.....

There's a kid in the year above at my son's school

There's people who work at the school with trans kids.

It's a very good school.

I haven't raised the subject because it's not affecting my son as it's a different year group. I would have got precisely nowhere with it before Cass and the SC and it's a different year group.

If it had been my son's class, it'd have been an issue. I wouldn't be able to associate with the parents. The kid I'd be fine with. Poor kid, who is going to have a shock when he hits puberty and suddenly gets hairy and doesn't have the right bits.

Other options were all worse schools.

What are you supposed to do?

Yes, many of us would like to know!

And at 6 years old! For crying out loud.

No.

There will be a fuckton of incoherent waffle however.

It is no different to telling the child there is definitely a hell in which sinners burn, and that angels guard him while he sleeps. Personal faith-based beliefs taught by adults in position of trust to a child who as unquestioned truths.

Jesus, are people still doing this shit to children?

A female brain ??? Could they explain what this is ?

Tell your son that there is no such thing as female brain but there is something called brainwashing!

You'll get nowhere if it's an Educate Together. Our local primary one is famous locally for its terrible bullying policies where the "in families" get away with murder.
Do you have a nice single sex primary nearby? Moving maybe the only effective option.

he has a male body but a female brain,

That is sexist
But if they want to play that idelogical game get the school to list what makes a boy brain different to a girl brain.
Even then that is a faith based belief as the child in question has not been tested and "found" to have a girl brain.

I would be looking at what type of gender woo the school is teaching as fact if they are going with girl brain

The school can have a school ethos but can not force your child to adopt the belief system of girl brain. And there was legislation passed 2015ish??? about schools accepting local students and adjusting ethos to not punish "non-believers" which was mainly aimed at RC schools

They have an obligation to respect your right to educate your child with your beliefs and not to try teach your child that your belief is "wrong".

THE FAMILY
ARTICLE 41
1 1° The State recognises the Family as the natural primary and fundamental unit group of Society, and as a moral institution possessing inalienable and imprescriptible rights, antecedent and superior to all positive law.
2° The State, therefore, guarantees to protect the Family in its constitution and authority, as the necessary basis of social order and as indispensable to the welfare of the Nation and the State.

EDUCATION
ARTICLE 42
1 The State acknowledges that the primary and natural educator of the child is the Family and guarantees to respect the inalienable right and duty of parents to provide, according to their means, for the religious and moral, intellectual, physical and social education of their children.
2 Parents shall be free to provide this education in their homes or in private schools or in schools recognised or established by the State.
3 1° The State shall not oblige parents in violation of their conscience and lawful preference to send their children to schools established by the State, or to any particular type of school designated by the State.
2° The State shall, however, as guardian of the common good, require in view of actual conditions that the children receive a certain minimum education, moral, intellectual and social.
4 The State shall provide for free primary education and shall endeavour to supplement and give reasonable aid to private and corporate educational initiative, and, when the public good requires it, provide other educational facilities or institutions with due regard, however, for the rights of parents, especially in the matter of religious and moral formation.

You have a fundemental objection to this ethos so you need to understand the schools policy and how the school plan to manage
a) "trans children"
b) children who dont believe in "trans children"
The school need to respect and manage both as they accept children of all faiths or none.

Imo the issue is the two children dont get on.

I would be working with the school to separate them as much as possible. And teaching your son not to bring up the issue as a weapon to be used against the other child. He needs to understand that doing that is bullying. So the context of the remarks are important.

If its a small ET school many of the parents will not want to become involved. But you need to look at who is on the BOM and how TRA they may be.

It will be a fine line so I would be pushing back on how the school is going to respect your childs right not to accept "girl brain".

To be fair, how can you possibly know how the school will react until something like this occurs - especially in a school with such young children?

Nope, he's six for fuck's sake in the sense that he knows not to pick on something that makes someone stand out for his own amusement. He's not asking his mum or teacher questions, he's saying things to another child which he knows are cruel.

Other kids will be less good at things and he shouldn't point that out, others might have things that make them look different, some will be less mature e.g. believe in father Christmas / tooth fairy as mentioned by PP. He can't treat people who are different from him as lesser. That is bullying / racist / sexist / ableist whatever he picks on.

I happen to agree with OP's personal views on the matter of the gender questioning child and think there's confusion and a need for adults to deal with it. But if it's a vulnerability / mental health issue etc. all the more reason not to mock someone struggling.

I can’t get my head around that you would send your child to a school that supports this madness.

100% this.

How to talk about 'trans-girl' in my son's class

An abused boy.

Seven year old boys can't make this kind of decision anymore than a vegan cat can. Social transition is abuse. The parents are abusing. So are the school.

I told my son that you can't change sex at 6 and that sometimes teachers are wrong.

If anyone wants to take it up with me they are welcome to. I can quote Cass.

I was going to ask was it educate together. They are completely captured. I think you are on a hiding to nothing trying to change that.

I think your approach is sensible and you have excellent advice here on how to approach it with your son. He doesn't have to lie but he shouldn't draw attention to the physical characteristics the child is sensitive to.

One other thing I would do is discuss with your son who he has being saying to the other child is a boy. Is the other child or other children taunting him in to doing it or is it unprovoked? If he's being taunted then the school need to be aware of that and deal with it. If it's unprovoked, he needs to be kinder without giving in to fantasy.

Just here to agree that you're taking the correct approach so far.
I'll refrain from commenting on the parent's approach though.