Some of you may remember my recent thread.
As I had said in that thread, I have never hidden my views on the gender debate. There is a TiM in my company, to whom I’m as pleasant as I am to everyone else. I am careful to use no pronouns at all around him, his team or the wider company. But in my small team I do occasionally use “he”. It is not intentional but just less mentally taxing than anything else.
I have today been told by my manager, after an email exchange just between the two of us, that I “must” use she and not he because that is what this person wants. Following this, that I “did not want to face an HR issue”.
In all honesty, at first I was angry but now I’m upset. I point blank refused to use the wrong pronouns, pointed out the Maya Forstater case, the SC ruling (not directly relevant but adds weight to my views), said that this man would have no complaint about me. But ultimately have said I will not use any pronouns for this man within my team either.
I feel really upset now. Rather like I’ve been told off and made to feel like I’m petulantly digging my heels in for no reason. And the HR thing felt mildly threatening although I’m positive it wasn’t meant that way. I cannot bear being told that I must enforce a lie in order to not be in trouble (I’m autistic so my sense of injustice is strong!).
I don’t know why I’m posting this except to know I’m not insane. Plus if anyone has anything clever I can keep in my back pocket or advice about how to proceed (have I done the wrong thing?) I would be grateful to hear it.
Thank you!