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Original poster

My neighbour is convinced I'm in love with them

36 replies

Andoutcomethewolves · 31/05/2025 09:56

My neighbour is a 'transwoman' (I'm using the quotation marks as they're basically a bearded bloke in a dress). They're VERY predatory towards women. Now the latest thing is they've decided I'm in love with them and that's why my DH doesn't talk to them (he has very valid reasons not to, they've tried to set up sexual situations with three of his closest female friends who are gay or bi). But I have to walk past their flat every day to get to work or the shop and they always come out winking and leering at me to try and get me to join them for a cider or something. I know they've had 'pyjama parties' with other neighbours who are quite vulnerable.

This is actually making me uncomfortable to leave my flat and I don't know how to deal with it. Help? Not really sure what I'm asking but they rant at me about being transphobic if I don't reciprocate their advances. Wondering if I should report (we're in HA housing)

OP posts:
LilaTwirls · 31/05/2025 10:53

Andoutcomethewolves · 31/05/2025 09:56

My neighbour is a 'transwoman' (I'm using the quotation marks as they're basically a bearded bloke in a dress). They're VERY predatory towards women. Now the latest thing is they've decided I'm in love with them and that's why my DH doesn't talk to them (he has very valid reasons not to, they've tried to set up sexual situations with three of his closest female friends who are gay or bi). But I have to walk past their flat every day to get to work or the shop and they always come out winking and leering at me to try and get me to join them for a cider or something. I know they've had 'pyjama parties' with other neighbours who are quite vulnerable.

This is actually making me uncomfortable to leave my flat and I don't know how to deal with it. Help? Not really sure what I'm asking but they rant at me about being transphobic if I don't reciprocate their advances. Wondering if I should report (we're in HA housing)

Are you being serious? I find it increasingly hard to know on these threads. I also don't get why it's always bearded transwomen, surely a transwomen would shave their beard off.

BackToLurk · 31/05/2025 10:52

How would you respond if he didn’t wear a frock? What would your advice be to someone dealing with this from any other man? Put his trans identity to one side. Document. If possible get others to document. Report. Stay safe.

Hoppinggreen · 31/05/2025 10:51

He is obviously a very unwell person, howeever he presents himself
Just ignore and if he ramps up his behaviour consider reporting for harrasment. Maybe keep a diary as well

Cosmosforbreakfast · 31/05/2025 10:51

Report him to HA and to Police each and every time. This a man harassing a woman. Doesn't matter if he's in a dress or not. Ignore him completely, it may be difficult but don't acknowledge him, don't answer him, don't engage with him at all.

kiwiane · 31/05/2025 10:47

Stop talking to them and keep records of the harassment and how you feel. Keep involving the HA and also consider whether to involve the police; they may enjoy the drama of a complaint.

wrongthinker · 31/05/2025 10:33

Report to HA, yes. I would also be recording and noting down all the incidents and reporting to police if it doesn't stop.

Original poster
Andoutcomethewolves · 31/05/2025 10:16

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/05/2025 10:00

I’ll warn you now that this thread is likely to end up screenshotted all over social.

Not really bothered, this is a horrible person. They've done all kinds of messed up stuff, including booking a double room with a neighbour who'd clearly asked for two rooms when they went to a political conference (God knows why she went with him) and saying ooh, we'll see what happens. Oh and asking me and DH to make ourselves scarse from our own flat to 'see what happens' with him and DH''s bestie

OP posts:
KnightonShiningArmour · 31/05/2025 10:05

OP report to the HA. Tell the individual firmly next time they try to engage with you “I do not wish to speak to you. Leave me alone.”

If they ignore your wishes, contact the police on the non-emergency line and log it. Each and every time log it. Make no reference to this person’s gender presentation when you speak to the police, just their name or ‘the person/individual’.

Harassment is wrong. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.

OverlyFragrant · 31/05/2025 10:04

Document everything and report to the police his sexual harassment of you.

Annoyedone · 31/05/2025 10:03

Just tell him that as a straight woman, you’re not interested in women and that the reason your DH is not talking to him is that you’ve banned your DH from talking to other women. He can’t come back at that as you’re “validating his identity”.

EmpressaurusKitty · 31/05/2025 10:00

I’ll warn you now that this thread is likely to end up screenshotted all over social.

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