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Original poster

Parents all onboard with gender woo

35 replies

FFSAllTheUserNamesHaveBeenTaken · 30/05/2025 08:45

My DD has told us she is non-binary and wants to use they/them pronouns. We listened and asked questions, “what does non-binary mean?” She couldn’t explain fully, so I think it’s as much wanting to be part of a tribe and liking similar things as much as anything else. She is also ND. She has chosen a boys name but didn’t talk about wanting to be a boy. We’ve carried on using her real name, she hasn’t said anything, all going fine.
I didn’t really think any more of it so I got a shock when one of her friend’s mum referred to her by her boy name. I guess her friends correct them if they use the wrong name. I don’t want other parents feeling compelled to buy into the pronoun nonsense and affirming things making it more difficult for DD to change her mind at a later date. What is really concerning me is that when I mentioned the name change in a neutral way it was clear they are all fully affirming of gender woo.

I can see why she would want to be non-binary as she doesn’t fit the girly-girl image. I had taken the view that it is probably a phase but hadn’t anticipated all her friends parents supporting it too. There is a lot going on for DD at the moment and her mental health isn’t great, she doesn’t need to be dragged into this but the whole trans thing seems to be a shiny magnet.

How the hell do I help steer DD through this, to be comfortable in her own skin, to apply some critical thinking to see the trans nonsense for what it is?

OP posts:
Nicole621 · 30/05/2025 13:04

If she's non binary why has she changed her name to a boys name? I don't think I'd be talking to other parents (they're just trying to be respectful) I'd be talking to her about not having to abide by gender stereotypes and that it doesn't mean anything apart from that she's a girl that doesn't abide by gender stereotypes.

I would tell her that I support her in anyway that she chooses to to be a girl/woman but that I won't be referring to her as they or them or using a boys name. I'd also be very concerned about what she is doing online and keeping a very close eye on her phone/online activity. Who exactly is she trying to fit in with by doing all this? The daughter of these other woo parents?

Original poster
FFSAllTheUserNamesHaveBeenTaken · 30/05/2025 12:26

DrBlackbird · 30/05/2025 10:34

It’s infuriating when your DDs friends get to virtue signal by going along with the illogical gender ideology but even more so when smug parents of friends do the same. Probably secretly believing themselves superior parents.

Does your DD do sports? It can help to ground them in the reality of their physical bodies. Are there any female only activities or conferences or sports that you could do together?

Can you decrease the time spent online? Go outdoors, hiking, camping etc?

Definitely go speak to her school so they don’t social transition her without your knowledge. There are many knowledgeable posters on here about schools responsibility in light of the Cass review. Look up other FWR threads for some of those school ones.

As much as possible you want to be positive about being female (not easy these days) and accepting of reality.

It very likely is a phase but you need to be knowledgeable and sensitive to the reality that this can snowball and your DD to go further down the pathway, encouraged by others. I’d be tempted to try and have calm conversations with those friends parents about the negative outcomes for many gender questioning youth.

Yes this is it exactly. She doesn’t like sports and I’ve been trying to get her out and keeping her busy, not least for her mental and physical health. She is home educated due to school not meeting needs, so we spend a lot of time together. When she was in school pre-Cass report, they were very supportive of all things trans unfortunately. I think you are right, need a conversation with the other parents.

OP posts:
Original poster
FFSAllTheUserNamesHaveBeenTaken · 30/05/2025 12:15

GCornotGCthatisthequestion · 30/05/2025 11:03

How old is your child?

She is 13.

OP posts:
Original poster
FFSAllTheUserNamesHaveBeenTaken · 30/05/2025 12:15

Bobbymoore123 · 30/05/2025 11:30

"[...] all going fine."
Head meet sand. Do you have a relationship with your DD?

Show quote history

🤨

OP posts:
CassOle · 30/05/2025 12:05

Do you have inside information about how good or not this specific relationship is, Bobby, or are you assuming a lot based on one single post on the internet and your own bias?

Bobbymoore123 · 30/05/2025 11:30

FFSAllTheUserNamesHaveBeenTaken · 30/05/2025 08:45

My DD has told us she is non-binary and wants to use they/them pronouns. We listened and asked questions, “what does non-binary mean?” She couldn’t explain fully, so I think it’s as much wanting to be part of a tribe and liking similar things as much as anything else. She is also ND. She has chosen a boys name but didn’t talk about wanting to be a boy. We’ve carried on using her real name, she hasn’t said anything, all going fine.
I didn’t really think any more of it so I got a shock when one of her friend’s mum referred to her by her boy name. I guess her friends correct them if they use the wrong name. I don’t want other parents feeling compelled to buy into the pronoun nonsense and affirming things making it more difficult for DD to change her mind at a later date. What is really concerning me is that when I mentioned the name change in a neutral way it was clear they are all fully affirming of gender woo.

I can see why she would want to be non-binary as she doesn’t fit the girly-girl image. I had taken the view that it is probably a phase but hadn’t anticipated all her friends parents supporting it too. There is a lot going on for DD at the moment and her mental health isn’t great, she doesn’t need to be dragged into this but the whole trans thing seems to be a shiny magnet.

How the hell do I help steer DD through this, to be comfortable in her own skin, to apply some critical thinking to see the trans nonsense for what it is?

"[...] all going fine."
Head meet sand. Do you have a relationship with your DD?

GCornotGCthatisthequestion · 30/05/2025 11:03

How old is your child?

DrBlackbird · 30/05/2025 10:34

It’s infuriating when your DDs friends get to virtue signal by going along with the illogical gender ideology but even more so when smug parents of friends do the same. Probably secretly believing themselves superior parents.

Does your DD do sports? It can help to ground them in the reality of their physical bodies. Are there any female only activities or conferences or sports that you could do together?

Can you decrease the time spent online? Go outdoors, hiking, camping etc?

Definitely go speak to her school so they don’t social transition her without your knowledge. There are many knowledgeable posters on here about schools responsibility in light of the Cass review. Look up other FWR threads for some of those school ones.

As much as possible you want to be positive about being female (not easy these days) and accepting of reality.

It very likely is a phase but you need to be knowledgeable and sensitive to the reality that this can snowball and your DD to go further down the pathway, encouraged by others. I’d be tempted to try and have calm conversations with those friends parents about the negative outcomes for many gender questioning youth.

Pavone · 30/05/2025 09:51

How old is she, and how well do you know the other parents? I’d think about gently approaching it with them along the lines of her having a lot going on with her mental health and overriding uncertainty - it’s important that whilst she’s exploring ideas, nothing is pushed onto her to a point she doesn’t feel she can backtrack.

Bluebootsgreenboots · 30/05/2025 08:51

It’s very tricky OP. How old is she? If she is under 18 it’s your daughter, your rules, and you can contact friends’ parents and ask them to use her real name.
If she’s over 18 there’s nothing you can do in that respect .