Request to share pronouns

'I don't have any defined pronouns, I prefer to be known by my name'.

If you have a unisex name this still works.

I did and it does 😂😂
Work said we had to attend some training (in a non-pronoun related area) with an external provider. Prior to the session we had to enrol via an online form. Unless you provided pronouns the form wouldn't allow you to proceed to the next section. I contacted HR who contacted the provider who contacted me profusely apologising that their system can't accommodate my needs. I entertained myself with this for a couple of weeks and then, quite mysteriously, the training was postponed. It's been postponed for about a year now.

What is meant is preferred pronouns, as I think you well know.

And your experience with having a unisex name should tell you why it is a bad idea for women to draw attention to their sex by adding female pronouns to email signatures. That’s been know fact for years, hence sexed titles (Mr, Mrs etc) being dropped from correspondence. So it’s a complete backwards move to add them in.

If you call yourself they everything will think you’re an adolescent. Up to you whether you think that’s a good look in the workplace.

“I don’t subscribe to that ideology”

And should non-catholics "just cross themselves" if surrounded by catholics, and non fascists "just put their right arm up" if surrounded by nazis? No one should be railroaded into pretending to believe something they don't. Freedom of belief is a fundamental human right. Only believers in sexist stereotypes (aka gender) have declarable pronouns.

The op said pronouns, not preferred pronouns

I have a unisex name. If people communicating with me by email think I'm male, they treat me with much more respect and politeness than they do if they think I'm female.
Not quite the same issue but it does raise a reasonable point about whether I should use "they".

Trans person here 👋
I wholeheartedly agree with this. Lots of people have made good points in the thread, but if you are looking for a way to respond gently OP, you have my expressed permission to quote me on this:

I am trans, before I came out at work I was always very uncomfortable at being forced to share pronouns, or feeling like there was pressure to do so. Giving the pronouns people would expect felt wrong, but giving the other pronouns or even they/them would draw people to question my gender which I wasn't ready for. So I always appreciated when pronouns were optional, and where it was seen as acceptable not to give them. So there being someone else in the room who didn't share theirs was helpful to me.

I would say something like, "this is an inclusive meeting for those who do and do not wish to share pronouns" and hand it over to the next person. I would say that at every meeting that involves a pronoun statement , to give solidarity to your colleagues. No explanation required from you about having none imo. Just repeat that statement if you're pressed on it. Maybe it will catch on?

If I were in that position, I'd just fudge it a bit and say 'Hi, I'm Dr Glom Nit, I've worked here for X years and I mostly do Y' and look over expectantly at the next person.

If, after that, someone had the nerve to say, 'but what about your pronouns?' I'd say seriously that I don't think anyone should be compelled to share them and that it's analogous with sharing your religion in a work setting.

Suggest that you don't feel comfortable until your employer has paid for you to go on a course to understand the issue.

I suspect that also might result in never being asked again. Especially if you explode over the refusal to do so as "putting colleagues at risk".

I have had a long time to prepare my reaction to this eventuality as may be evident. Shame they all seem to be for naught.

I think it’s important that senior people who don’t want to share pronouns don’t.

that gives permission to less senior people who don’t want to as well.

im senior and will not share pronouns.

I like this! You could also make some vague noises about feeling ‘triggered’ if you really want the EDI types to pay attention.

I'd say "Pronouns are words you choose to refer to me, so take a look and knock yourself out."

To the person who suggested this to you, OP, say, 'I don't wish to out myself. How do you suggest I handle this?'

Ball firmly back in their court

I'm not seriously recommending this but if you want to make the DEI types' heads explode, ask them whether sharing pronouns is a "microaggression".

Because as far as I know there is nothing that can't be seen as a microaggression by someone.

Could you act faux naive and say something like ‘Oh I’m biologically female so I guess my pronouns would be she/her”

Which answers the question (kind of) but also shows you are using sex rather than gender identify as the rationale for your answer.

If I was asked in front of other people, I would say 'My name is X, I don't mind what anyone calls me as long as it is suitable for a work environment' with a big smile to put an end to the matter.

If I was asked in private I would say 'I feel this has become a mechanism of signalling adherence to a belief system that I do not share. I feel that rather than making everyone feel comfortable, it sows more discord because I know there are people who feel like me, and probably some people who take the exact opposite view. I am sure you would not expect me to declare my adherence to a religion I did not share, but neither would I expect to be put in the position where I had to say whether or not I had a religion, particularly if there may be a strong feeling that there is a 'right' answer to that question.

In addition, I think it puts women at a particular disadvantage. We know there are issues with female representation at higher ranks. Studies have shown that people respond less positively to female names on CVs. So I think there is a distinct possibility that reminding people forcibly that I am female multiple times will be to my disadvantage.'

Ive been in your position. When pushed i just say 'I dont do that' regards pronouns, and move swiftly on. I can feel the tension and sideways glances but I ignore. Ive been doing it for years now and it has worked. Ive never been quizzed further but Im ready for it. I would just say, 'Im obviously female but people can call me the pronouns THEY see fit'. But ive never had to say it - quite disappointingly cos im ready lol.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this, I was hoping that the 'pronouns' thing had faded away a bit.

Sometimes fires burn brightest just before they die. Maybe it's the same with bullshit ? After all, dried bovine excrement is excellent fuel. Be a shame to waste it

We recently had to use a shared invite list at work for an event. There was a column for pronouns. None for title. I just put in Mr/Mrs/Dr/Ms etc.

Like not exactly helpful when doing an invitation to know the pronoun for when you are not actually addressing someone directly is it? Honestly, I just can't be bothered dealing with children anymore.

I just say, sex based like my oppression! And I'm pretty sure I got that from some wise mumsnetter, on this very board. They don't bother asking me now.

Pronouns are there to make speech flow more smoothly. Trying to remember everyone's preferred pronouns has the opposite effect.
The idea that the pronouns used when referring to someone belong to the person being referred to is gibberish.

Shhh 🤫 The grown ups are talking now…