Request to share pronouns

Our work email signature template includes pronouns so I deleted that part and quietly roll my eyes at those who include it. I’m also very senior but someone has to maintain a sense of logic surely.

It takes practice, and sometimes you slip, but I now go to any effort to do precisely that. I work for a very captured institution and have had quite a long time to get my head around this. So here, I'd simply replace 'her' with 'that'. Or say, in an icebreaker: 'This is Sarah, she's from Wolverhampton and has a cat called Buttons'; 'this is Mike, whose favourite food is Italian!'

It means using the passive voice a lot more often, but it can become habit although slips are sometimes inevitable. It won't sound natural at first, but it does the more you practise.

I find this the win-win option. You don't have to compromise on your own principles, you won't offend, and you can't be disciplined for something you didn't say. Plus it's very unobtrusive and people will likely not even realise you're doing it.

We know that there are only two sexes - male / female…

therefore there are only two possible sets of pronouns: he/him and she/her

to even suggest anything else is to tell / support a lie. The insistence on pronouns being a) a thing and b) self-id so that you can choose the pronouns you want… is part of a toolkit being used to validate the deceit that you can change sex / that a man can become a woman and that therefore men should be allowed into women’s spaces etc.

it is important to push back against that, to gradually dismantle the lies and deceptions and to return to truth. As there are only two sets of pronouns and 99.999% of people are obviously male / female (even the men who dress up as women!) we should simply return to not needing to state pronouns - speak as you see. Anything else is to be a collaborator in the bigger picture which has nefarious intent - yes there are those caught up in this for whom it is a personal struggle and mental health issue, but the bigger picture is an attempt to dismantle women, propagated by a few - and this insistence on pronouns is a validation point in that process

I think the simplest thing would be an upfront statement either before the meeting or at the start saying: “there has been a point raised about not using pronouns, however as a company we do not require that. If you wish to state pronouns that is your choice, equally some may choose not to and be happy to go with the pronouns from their sex.”

step by step - dismantle these validations points…

#returnToTruth

You want to work in an inclusive environment where people can share pronouns if they want but are not forced to.

People don’t own pronouns. Most people’s sex is obvious in an in person scenario.

Ok. Hands up I will admit there are subtleties and angles I hadn’t considered not thought of. Maybe I banged out a reply too quickly without properly thinking this through.
please stop quoting me. It’s filling up my inbox!!!

That's what pronouns on name badges are for.😀

A round of applause could be too loud for members of the group. You should propose a round of snaps

If someone's pronouns are not obvious, it might help if they share them so that others know how to address them.
Most are obvious.
The OP's issue is that it should be a choice.
I'd go with 'I prefer not to share personal pronouns in a work environment, but I understand if others feel diffrently'.
True inclusivity is encouraging everyone to be able to speak openly, not prescribing how it's done.

I would not make any reference to pronouns because those who feel the need to announce theirs will do it anyway whether anyone is interested or not.

@westfacing - the honest truth is that it gets easier with practice, just like anything else in human interaction. That's why the push is so strong to normalise it. I would have zero idea how low to bow to different people in a Japanese workplace, but I would soon work out who to bow lowest to if I were doing it and surrounded by it every day. We don't think about our own cultural structures at all until there is a visible attempt to change them or to bring in somethingfrom another culture, but they are there all the same.

The underrated thoughts of Nancy Mitford are relevant (this is from memory so won't be as clear or crisp as her prose) - 'Linda realised then what it took me years to understand, that social life is entirely artificial'

Is the proposer of the applause supposed to have remembered how Artemisia introduced herself at the beginning of the meeting some two hours ago?

People don’t own pronouns.

Here is an example-

"I propose a round of applause to Artemisia for her contribution to this topic. I know that she has put a lot of effort in."

I'm retired, thank goodness, and don't sit on any voluntary committees etc., so am just wondering how it's all supposed to work, if one does acquiesce and share pronouns when meeting colleagues, or sitting around a conference table.

Is everyone expected to remember who said what?

In written communication it would be there in front of you so you could be appropriate when replying, but person to person in the flesh?

Which leads me to think that it has no practical or 'kind' use in reality - just mere virtue-signalling, for want of a better phrase.

Agree completely @ahagwearsapointybonnet. I don’t want the YP anywhere near my workplace, thank you.

Please please PLEASE don't keep recommending quoting the Yogyakarta Principles, or I will have to dig out my previous "Why quoting the YPs is a really really REALLY bad idea" posts again!

The short version goes something like this: The "Yogyakarta Principles" (especially the more recent version, but the originals were bad enough) are as dodgy as fuck and absolutely terrible for women's rights; even one of the guys who helped write them later realised and admitted this. So why the flip would you advertise them to people, and encourage them to follow them, all like "Hey guys, there's these great Yogyakarta Principles which say we should be doing X/shouldn't do Y", when you should be running a MILE from them/denying they ever existed/burying them under the patio?

My name is Artemisia. My pronouns are obvious to most people. But if you get it wrong I don’t mind.

Also, when in conversation, why would I say she/her or he/him when speaking to the person in front of me? Surely I’ll be using I/we/they/me/you/my/your etc? They are gender non-specific?

Indeed - they're actually quite a dull thing, and nothing to get excited about at all; but they are already prescribed in their use, if you speak the English language.

If, instead of pronouns, we were talking about (equally dull) prepositions... you couldn't just start referring to putting paperwork in the table, or raising an issue under the upcoming meeting, or some information above your company website - and expect people to actually understand without any hesitation what you were trying to communicate to them.

Why only confirm your pronouns; why stop there? Why not introduce yourself as human, or as white, or as 5'2" tall? After all, if somebody just assumed/observed these things about you - when you actually identify as a green hamster that's as tall as the Eiffel Tower - that's going to be equally awkward, upsetting and disrespectful too, isn't it? Surely it's just an obvious, simple kindness to tell people absolutely every single fact about yourself - however obvious or easily presumable - when you introduce yourself?

My pronouns are Bitch/Queen

No

For pronouns I use first person singular (only been able to use once but got a laugh!)

@RareGoalsVerge suggestion was really good.

Coming from another company, you could also mention that other companies are moving away from the practice of sharing pronouns to ensure that no one feels pressured to share sensitive personal information and to ensure that the company culture remains truly inclusive.

If your job is to do with risk and compliance you could also mention that there have been a number of high profile employment law cases which highlighted that companies must maintain a neutral stance on controversial issues such as gender ideology to avoid claims of religion or belief discrimination.

I suspect whoever complained last time will be watching and do it again. Have you discussed it as an SLT? Also many valid points already but I would throw a different topic in like accessibility or neurodiversity in the workplace you could speak on instead to try and divert the focus on inclusivity to other areas.

No.