Request to share pronouns

It's not the point.

Shall we just make everyone declare their sexualities too?

Try going formal. My role is Senior xxx, My name is Ms/Miss/Mrs McGee and I’d like to be addressed that way please.

Whilst I have seen an email sign off along the lines of - Mrs Boot, Senior bossy boots, pronouns She/Her imo a title such as Miss/Ms/Mrs trumps pronouns as being obviously female rendering pronouns redundant.

A stern demand for formality should put the pronoun police in their box for a bit.

How do you know it will make colleagues feel at ease? How does your colleague who asked for this know that? Sharing pronouns makes some employees feel deeply uneasy. Whether it's because they are gender critical, or because they don't want to come out as trans right then by stating pronouns that don't match their sex. Or what if a colleague is a parent who's struggling with a "trans child" at home and would rather ignore pronouns and get on with their day at work? Or they're a detransitioner?

I would say to the colleague: "Some people like to share pronouns, some people don't. It's an individual decision. As a leader I wouldn't want to create an atmosphere where people felt they were under pressure about pronouns. And we could easily find ourselves on the wrong end of a discrimination case if we did."

And I would say nothing about my pronouns in the meeting and if challenged say something like what Herberty suggested and move on.

Yes, it really is difficult to understand, why would someone's pronouns not be obvious? I have never once had an instance in a workplace where it isn't blindingly obvious, have you?

I’m fed up of this. I just ignore it when asked. Haven’t been challenged but they probably think I’m being a dumb blonde and forgetting. Not been challenged outright yet.

It harms the whole of society to indulge this absolute nonsense.

It starts with, "Hi, my name is Claire and my pronouns are she/her" and before you know it it's, "She exposed her penis and used wheelie bin as sex toy in public," and, "Lia Thomas has asked a Swiss sports court to overturn rules imposed by World Aquatics that stop her competing in elite women's races."

Both the bin shagger and Lia Thomas are men, for the avoidance of doubt.

Trans or gender questioning people may not want to feel pressure to declare their gender identity publicly. And both gender ideology believers and doubters have a right not to work in an environment that is hostile to them on the basis of their protected beliefs.

Both reasons are valid and important, and the latter is a legal requirement.

I would reply to the person requesting this and say you have no pronouns for reasons you don't have to disclose, but you are requesting that you are addressed correctly otherwise it will be LITERAL VIOLENCE and send a link to this to assist them

What do you do when someone doesn’t use any pronouns? - PFLAG

🙄

Given that you are a senior member of staff I would go with something like,
'personally I don't feel it's necessary, but anyone who feels it is, is obviously free to do so.'

Really.

Forced pronouns do harm.

How did we ever cope before we invented this pronoun nonsense?

A friend faced with a similar "request" (i.e an instruction dressed up as a suggestion) offered to share their cycle dates instead. Using the logic that (a) it was just as intrusive as pronouns and (b) should answer any questions about their sex, gender or ability to conceive. That seemed to put a stop to that.

'I've received some feedback that I should be sharing my pronouns when introducing myself. Especially as a senior leader as it is meaningful for many colleagues and sets the tone for meetings will make it harder for others to not kowtow to the ideology.'

Really? Is it so difficult to understand? If someone’s pronouns are not obvious, then it makes their life easier if everyone just routinely shares.

Unless it's from your manager and is presented as a disciplinary issue, I'd continue to ignore it. This is what compelled speech in the workplace looks like.

Forcing you to sign up the Gender Identity as a principle when you're not a believer. This isn't about using individual pronouns about others. This is demanding that you present yourself in a particular way to suit other people's prejudices / issues / demands.

Just use your name and if challenged have a response ready that suits you. Mine is "I don't do compelled speech" but in the workplace maybe "I'm sure you can work them out" or something casual.

Ignore the request.

Then people should stop forcing other people to share their pronouns? That might make someone's day easier. Not everything needs to be a battle.

Announce them if you want, don't if you don't want.

But what about those who don't want to share? Surely the name you wish to be called and your role is enough?

You and your senior peers set the tone. It’s important for staff who want to share their pronouns to see that that is acceptable and included, and likewise for those who don’t want to (which could be for a whole range of reasons) to see that that’s acceptable too. It’s important that the senior staff not just talk diversity but to model it.

I think that’s an effective line, as well as being the right one.

Reasons staff may not want to share include trans staff who don’t want to out themselves (Yogyakarta), and gender critical staff who have a legally protected rights too. You feel that both from an inclusivity and a legal risk perspective, yours is the appropriate path.

Who gave you the feedback? I would address this with them before the meeting and state that putting any pressure on anyone to announce pronouns creates multiple risks, including making someone grappling with gender identity issues uncomfortable, and creating a hostile environment for someone with gender critical beliefs (a protected characteristic).

Do not make a joke of it in the meeting, or make any remark that indicates you believe in the cis/trans/pronouns nonsense if you personally don't subscribe to it. Even acknowledging preferred pronouns are a thing is to bow down to the gender borg and I will never, ever capitulate.

Except it does cause harm.

We've been through this before.

It's not a neutral act.

I would say thee/thou - because if I’m allowed to be that fussy then I would genuinely like the antiquated feel of those

Why and how does it make someone's day easier?

I would say:

"My name is Herberty. I don't share pronouns as I am open to anyone using any pronoun they feel comfortable with when addressing me. No pressure on anyone - please just do what suits you and let's put all our energy into this meeting"

If I was having a bad day, I would say it is bleeding obvious and I won't insult your intelligence ...

Just share your pronouns. It takes two seconds, causes you no harm and may make someone else’s day easier.
Not everything has to be a battle.

Tbh I would probably just not share pronouns. If you ever get some in person pushback I'd say that plenty of people are setting the example of sharing pronouns so you will go the other way and leave it open for others to decide not to share their pronouns if they don't feel comfortable doing so (for whatever reason).