Nice gaslighting Pamela

Bing, lightbulb moment

If wearing the knickers turns him on, why does he need to wear hers instead of buying some of his own?

the point is that it’s his wife’s stuff isn’t it? It’s a territorial thing. No wonder she’s upset.

If it was just clothes he’d buy his own wouldn’t he? But the fun is annexing his wife’s intimate stuff. <shudder>

I agree. It's never been a good advice column.

It's just very short, standard poor advice. It's the woman's fault to have the reaction that she had - of course. The man can do what he wants. He can indulge any whim. However, engage in some expensive "therapy" which will validate you. Same old, same old.

Why on earth would you expect better of Pamela? Her column has been like this for years. Anyone writing in about a fetish gets told it is a glorious expression of their sexual desires and the person woman who doesn't get it needs to be educated to appreciate their wonderfulness properly.

She's literally just dashed off a few sentences that mostly restate what the person is writing in about. When I used to read the Guardian I noticed she always did this. Her answers were always very short and very superficial. The guy should write to Philippa and keep his sticky🤢 fingers out of his wife's knicker drawer.

I expected better of Pamela S for some reason. No idea why.
And in today's weird things men do..........
I gave up trying to understand them years ago.

It's interesting how men don't seem to feel any shame until they get caught, not so much shame as fear of their wives telling other people.

If anyone, including my H, “borrowed” my underwear, I’d never want to speak to them again about anything!

I saw this earlier and decided not going to click on it as I know it will enrage me.

I have so many questions about this article:

What on earth does he think bisexual means if he has never told anyone, acted on it and the sole 'bisexual' thing he has done is wear his wife's knickers?

Do the 'black lace panties' even exist or are they just a phrase out of porn? (I accept the letter writer may be American but am still suspicious about the word panties)

If wearing the knickers turns him on, why does he need to wear hers instead of buying some of his own?

Has he considered that it might have been distressing for his wife or is it all about him?

If he is that ashamed and humiliated, what is his motivation for sharing the experience with an international readership?

And finally why can't he (or Pamela) accept his wife's perfectly reasonable marriage saving approach of never ever discussing it ever again?

Yep, that’s definitely the vibe here. Poor old husband, just doing what so many men have apparently done throughout time. If only he could educate his wife so that she understands.

Patronising twaddle.