Man pushed ahead of woman to use female toilet

I’m sorry for anyone who has had a man assault them. It obviously stays with the victim. Sometimes these men who encroach on women’s boundaries (it is usually men who do this to women) escalate their behaviour as they seek bigger thrills at offending against women. Next woman/girl he sexually assaults might suffer more serious consequences. Might even be through his job. It might have been better for any future victim if he wasn’t in his position.

I have sheared my barnet before. A really short crew cut. I don’t know what make-up, skirts, earrings had to be worn for people to see I was a woman. I didn’t wear any of those and people still could tell I was a woman. Even with my couple of cm’s of hair.

What on earth has JKR got to do with a pervert grabbing your breast? I'm sorry that happened to you. But seriously, that's on him.

You are jumping to conclusions with me and being judgemental as you’ve done with this man that you don’t know from Adam.

Just as you and that man are doing to the lady he jumped in front of who he didn't know from Eve...

So many handmaidens here trying to excuse this man’s entitled behaviour. I mean, if he was going to jump a queue for medical reasons it would be more time-effective to jump the men’s. They are quicker in the loos than women, as we all know!

He chose to jump the women’s queue because he enjoyed it.

Well, not really strange, is it? Because I wasn’t talking about that. I made no comment on what women who go into the men’s do. I meant that if this had been a women who wanted to go in front of a queue of other women into the women’s toilet, she’d have asked. Did I say every single woman? No, I didn’t.

If you’ve got an issue with women using men’s toilets then that’s a separate discussion for many reasons, one being urinals/cubicles, for instance.

"A woman who was desperate would have spoken to the women at the front of the queue and politely asked to go first if they needed to."

Which is strange because when I've encountered women going into the men's they have never "politely asked me" for permission to go first.

Almost as if all men and all women don't all behave the same ....

Perhaps the women waiting were desperate too or needed to change sanitary protection quickly? It’s the rudeness apart from the wrong toilet. A woman who was desperate would have spoken to the women at the front of the queue and politely asked to go first if they needed to.

The point was about the expectation that everyone else, especially the woman ahead of him could cope. While I appreciate that words on a page don't convey sarcasm it was implicit.

I'm bowing out of this one. Feel free to have the last word.

The gracious thing would have been to acknowledge that your earlier point (about women’s and men’s bladder control being different) was wrong and to thank @TatteredAndTorn for clarifying, rather than calling her pedantic for clarifying her point. I agree with you that the man in the OP behaved poorly, and should have asked before jumping in. But the issue was with his failure to ask, rather than that he should have had better bladder/bowel control as none of us know his reality.

You are jumping to conclusions with me and being judgemental as you’ve done with this man that you don’t know from Adam. I wasn’t being indignant, as I said in my post, I was clarifying that sometimes women also can’t wait so to say they can is incorrect. I was sharing my experience and wasn’t commenting on the rudeness on the man’s approach. Your response to me made no sense in that context so I clarified my meaning as assumed you had misunderstood. It’s not pedantic to clarify meaning. For some reason you don’t like my response and that has led to you becoming incredibly rude. Which to be honest as I am battling with chronic illness and my mental health is not in a good way I could do without today. But keyboard warriors rarely stop to think about there being a person behind the comments when posting unnecessarily nasty responses.

Well don't be so pedantic. The comment was understandable to anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together.

The point was more about people being rude aka men shoving past, which you've missed because you were to busy being indignant.

That’s a very unnecessary and rude response.

There is a Pedants Corner if you want to visit it instead. 🙄

I was commenting on the fact that you have said women “manage to hold it in” and PPs who seem to be jumping to conclusions about this man’s bladder control. I am a woman and can’t always hold it. So you are incorrect when you say that women can hold it. That’s my point. Hope that’s clearer.

I don't know your situation and maybe you can't and don't, but I hope you'd still find your manners instead of shoving past someone without a by you leave.

I don’t manage to hold it in. I’ve wet myself before. And sometimes it takes a long time to find a toilet or you’ve been driving for a.while or something and by the time you find a toilet you are bursting/desperate.

Exactly! They don’t care about women - never have

I agree with this. If you let someone go in front, they should get your place and you should go to the back. In this case it was one woman.

And yes, also ok to say no.

I agree with all of this. And as a result I think that he should have ASKED before assuming that he was entitled to queue jump the person who was next in line to use the female toilet. She might also have been desperate - he just assumed that his need was greater than hers.

Personally, unless I too was absolutely desperate for whatever I needed to use the toilet for, I would normally agree in such circumstances (proper enclosed toilets, being asked) and I know that desperation and urgency are really difficult to deal with. I agree with PP that prostate problems come as a shock to many men who are not used to having to plan their toilet visits in the way that women have learnt throughout their adult life. The problem (for me) is not so much the use of the female enclosed toilet it was the lack of asking whether it was ok and the assumption that the woman should wait for him.

I am just saying that in a place with cubicles, if a man or a woman asked me if they could go ahead because they were desperate, then I would let them

i agree…but he didn’t ask in this case

Entirely fair enough.

I also think that you have no right to consent to someone pushing ahead of you unless you are last in the queue, and that it is also entirely fair enough for women to just say "no, sick of the entitlement, sympathy all run out, piss and shit yourself for all I care, I'm interested in myself and my fellow women".

He said he was desperate. Of course we don't know.
I am just saying that in a place with cubicles, if a man or a woman asked me if they could go ahead because they were desperate, then I would let them.

I would judge a man a lot though for not asking the men in the other lines first.

When it happens, make a thread.

I'm out a lot. I have never seen anyone behave like this. Male or female.

theyve walked by a queue of men, I think that kind of the same thing really. Worse still some will have elderly men in it