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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom

664 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 11/05/2025 06:47

More details re the Darlington nurses. I don’t know what to say. This is outrageous. Just fucking outrageous.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14698557/I-begged-bosses-not-let-trans-nurse-invaded-changing-room-intimate-operation-refused-didnt-want-hurt-feelings.html

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Dozer · 11/05/2025 08:33

The gynae surgery part is especially horrifying.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 11/05/2025 08:31

TakingMyChancesWithTheRabbits · 11/05/2025 08:25

Wes, you can "expect" trusts to obey the law all you like, but what we want to know is 1) how long are you going to give them to make sure their policies are lawful, and 2) what are you going to do if they don't?

Exactly

its not a bug, it’s a feature!! They need to be instructed to comply with the law or risk fines/court

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:31

Buffypaws · 11/05/2025 07:48

Seriously I’ve been in this game for years but WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

Same.

oh my fucking God.

And all these fucking people going out of their way to say this isn't Rosie's fault he's not a creep.

Yes it fucking IS and yes he fucking IS.

Bloke forces himself on unconsenting women, strips off and asks them why they're not doing the same??

That poor bloody woman.

The description of when she told her children about her childhood abuse brought to my eyes.

How brave do you have to be to force yourself into the spotlight to talk about the disgusting behaviour of one man, knowing that it's going rake up the all disgusting behaviour of another.

I really bloody hope that this will eventually give her some closure.

And if Wes Streeting doesn't shit or get off the fucking pot 🤬😡

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 08:31

tigger1001 · 11/05/2025 08:29

Exactly! That in itself should have been an automatic reason why they should have been excluded from the surgery.

I find it awful that a patient in an incredibly vulnerable position was asked to think about how the other person felt. And they threatened to withhold healthcare from her unless she complied.

Depriving patients of healthcare because they don’t play along with trans policies is standard NHS protocol.

Motnight · 11/05/2025 08:30

Thank you, Karen.

VeraWangTea · 11/05/2025 08:29

Are you fucking kidding me! Disgusting.

Well done those brave women! And love to Karen for sharing her story to demonstrate the heart of this issue.

tigger1001 · 11/05/2025 08:29

Merrymouse · 11/05/2025 07:46

One of the similarities with the Fife case is the appalling management - irrespective of the issues involved.

Just the existence of the legal dispute should have prevented Rose from being involved with Karen’s healthcare.

Exactly! That in itself should have been an automatic reason why they should have been excluded from the surgery.

I find it awful that a patient in an incredibly vulnerable position was asked to think about how the other person felt. And they threatened to withhold healthcare from her unless she complied.

Judellie · 11/05/2025 08:26

Unbelievable! Why is there never any concern for the women affected? Ridiculous that she was asked about his feelings, seems that never goes the other way!

TakingMyChancesWithTheRabbits · 11/05/2025 08:25

Wes, you can "expect" trusts to obey the law all you like, but what we want to know is 1) how long are you going to give them to make sure their policies are lawful, and 2) what are you going to do if they don't?

CarefulN0w · 11/05/2025 08:24

Good point Xenia, about male confrontation seeking behaviour, whilst women [as a class] are socialised to collaborate.

This guy’s behaviour seems to be classic Auto Gungho Profile.

Letsummercommence · 11/05/2025 08:20

TheaBrandt1 · 11/05/2025 07:55

Found it moving the way the work colleagues are stepping up to support this lady. Wonder if they would have taken it this far if their colleague wasn’t so badly affected? They may have hated it but stoically put up with it which is the easier option in the current climate.

Absolutely.

Karen has been incredibly brave coming forward. How it takes a hideous history of childhood sexual abuse to even get the story listened to.
That it wasn’t enough to immediately get Rose out of the changing room was unbelievable.

But thank fuck they had Karen.

Clearly without her those poor nurses wouldn’t have had a chance.

HermioneWeasley · 11/05/2025 08:20

I felt sick reading that

b4t · 11/05/2025 08:19

This is so upsetting. Karen has been through so much and they just want to keep piling on to her trauma? I admire her strength but she shouldn't be in this position at all. I hope this nonsense comes to an end and everyone involved looks back at this time period with collective shame.

Waitwhat23 · 11/05/2025 08:17

I cried reading it too. They're all so brave.

The unexpected bit that really got me was Karen having to tell her kids, her son saying 'are you OK Mum?' and her reflecting that no-one at that NHS Trust (who knew that one of the women had been abused as a child) had ever asked if she was OK, or needed help, or advice or support. Just nothing.

But if the feelings of a man got hurt, it was all hands to deck.

AlexandraLeaving · 11/05/2025 08:16

Waitwhat23 · 11/05/2025 08:05

“Well, Rose is a woman so Rose has a right to be there”.

A right to be there. What the actual fuck.

Yes. Amidst all the other horrific stuff, that comment is almost the most shocking. Irrespective of one’s opinion on whether TWAW (they aren’t), the very fact of there being an ongoing tribunal case creates a huge fucking massive conflict of interest that should have made it obvious that ‘Rose’ should not be participating in an operation on Karen. ‘Rose’ has a right not to be discriminated against in work place on the grounds of his sex and his gender reassignment. That is entirely different from having the ‘right’ to access his colleagues genitals against her wishes. Can they not hear themselves?

Theeyeballsinthesky · 11/05/2025 08:15

Kinsters · 11/05/2025 08:11

I wonder whether any other news outlets will pick this up.

Me too!

im impressed really fucking annoyed that Shaun Lintern the Sunday times health correspondent who is usually all over anything and everything NHS related has studiously ignored both this story and that of Sandy Peggie

SparklyGlitterballs · 11/05/2025 08:14

Pretty disgusting that there's a woman out there who is in a relationship with this vile person and is trying to get pregnant by him. Her bar must be on the floor...or down in the basement!

SnakesAndArrows · 11/05/2025 08:12

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/05/2025 07:24

What the actual fucking fuck.

My thoughts exactly. Speechless, to be honest.

Kinsters · 11/05/2025 08:11

I wonder whether any other news outlets will pick this up.

ILoveMyCaravan · 11/05/2025 08:11

What about the patients this “Rose” is treating ffs! I’m also a victim of childhood sexual abuse, I would NOT want “Rose” anywhere near me!!

wrongthinker · 11/05/2025 08:11

Jesus that is one of the worst things I've ever read. Just utterly disgusting institutional abuse of women, all to support a creepy pervert man.

Karen is incredibly brave.

Sprinklesandsprinkles · 11/05/2025 08:11

This is horrendous, poor lady

Kinsters · 11/05/2025 08:10

That's so awful, every part of it. The only good thing is the care, compassion and courage of all the nurses involved. How utterly shameful of the NHS, the government and men in general. It's beyond time to get their act together.

Xenia · 11/05/2025 08:08

This is the problem with some (not all) trans people who are biologically male - they are so male (the opposite of how they want to appear) they want confrontation, they want trouble, they want to be the one who fights the trans cause by upsetting a nurse like this. Some of them use their presentation as women as a form of sexual encounter or fetish too.

I hope Darlington does the right thing and let the trans nurse change in a separate mixed sex disabled toilet or something like that as that seems the sensible option. I am glad the abused nurse's lawyers were able to get the trust to back down so that the trans person was not on duty in the intimate operation of this poor lady.

It is very simple - women mostly don't want someone with a p enis in the areas where we change.

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 08:08

I cried reading it too. But I’m also SO beyond angry.

I have been reading NHS policy after NHS policy as part of our audit, and I hate to tell you all this, but in every single trust, everything that happened to the Darlington nurses would not only be possible, but obligatory.

And it wasn’t the fault of one rogue person in Darlington (or Fife, or whatever trust Jennifer Melle is at) HR, nor one person in management, nor even one small team of people that decided these policies. It is BUILT IN to every single NHS trust policy.

It is a parasite.

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