Challenging "be kind"

29 replies

TeaHagTeaBag · 06/05/2025 11:55

Our primary school is reviewing the anti bullying policy and in the parent consultation phase The policy is overall good but I've a couple of suggestions on it. I've a real problem with them regrading it as a "be kind" policy instead of "anti bullying". I'm sure there is research on the toxic use of the be kind phenomenon having a negative impact (especially on girls) but my Google skills are lacking. Could anyone point me to any leads to get me started?

OP posts:

Pogmochluais · 06/05/2025 12:18

I think you don’t challenge “be kind” you interrogate what kindness is.

It is not a superficial, short term, narrow thing it is rather taking a holistic, long term view with compromise, healthy boundaries and a long term view about behaviours that benefits interpersonal relationships in the longer term. In other words what feels kind in the short term may ultimately be unkind in the longer term, like validation of a denial of reality might see kind in the short term but ultimately it harms relationships in the long term so it is ultimately unkind.

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 06/05/2025 12:13

Somewhat related, there are also a number of psychologists coming out and saying that they don’t believe that the series “Adolescence” should be shown in schools, because it reinforces the “she was asking for it” narrative. I don’t know if you’ll find anything useful there, but if you google something like “arguments against showing adolescence in schools” you should get plenty of hits.

CassOle · 06/05/2025 12:11

https://neurolaunch.com/psychology-behind-being-too-nice/

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 06/05/2025 12:01

You could look at any writing by Victoria Smith. Her most recent book is called “Unkind” and it’s all about weaponising the kindness culture against women (and girls).

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