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Banned from breastfeeding group for objecting to males breastfeeding

632 replies

snickerdoodle1990 · 01/05/2025 21:40

Hi everyone,

I gave birth a few months ago and had some breastfeeding difficulties, so joined a local breastfeeding support group in my city. It’s basically a place to go for support with feeding, plus meet other mums/have a cuppa and biscuit etc. They also have a FB group. It’s become a nice, friendly place to go once every couple of weeks.

Recently, a trans-woman (male) has joined the group asking for support because their wife has not long had a baby and the trans-woman is wishing to breastfeed too, apparently through use of hormones and domperidone (?) to stimulate supply (I did not realise this was possible at all)

I really really object to this person being present in a group of women who are seeking breastfeeding support, trying to come together in their breastfeeding experience and also revealing themselves intimately

I told the group leader my concerns and she basically told me to shove it - said that the group is a safe space for everyone and they support all who wish to breastfeed and that I shouldn’t come back because I am a bigot

I am horrified as are the other women, where do we all stand and what would you do?

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titchy · 01/05/2025 21:48

snickerdoodle1990 · 01/05/2025 21:40

Hi everyone,

I gave birth a few months ago and had some breastfeeding difficulties, so joined a local breastfeeding support group in my city. It’s basically a place to go for support with feeding, plus meet other mums/have a cuppa and biscuit etc. They also have a FB group. It’s become a nice, friendly place to go once every couple of weeks.

Recently, a trans-woman (male) has joined the group asking for support because their wife has not long had a baby and the trans-woman is wishing to breastfeed too, apparently through use of hormones and domperidone (?) to stimulate supply (I did not realise this was possible at all)

I really really object to this person being present in a group of women who are seeking breastfeeding support, trying to come together in their breastfeeding experience and also revealing themselves intimately

I told the group leader my concerns and she basically told me to shove it - said that the group is a safe space for everyone and they support all who wish to breastfeed and that I shouldn’t come back because I am a bigot

I am horrified as are the other women, where do we all stand and what would you do?

Well if all the others feel the same just meet with them - create a private WhatsApp group or something.

Arlingtonchase · 01/05/2025 21:46

Is the group part of a national network, or just a local one that’s been set up by the "leader"? If it’s part of La Leche League, unfortunately that is their policy (though presumably they could change it, following the Supreme Court decision, if they wanted to, by saying they ran single-sex groups for women).

If it’s a council-run or NHS-run group I would think they’re now on shaky ground if women users object.

If, as you say, the other women feel the same way as you do (as I would too), there’s nothing to stop you all setting up your own group without that leader.

Darkgreendarkbark · 01/05/2025 21:46

Also, does this person even bring a baby with them? Do they even definitely have a baby? I suppose it's even worse if they actually have a baby and are really doing this, but if they're just turning up with a story, they're clearly using and abusing the group for kicks.

SternJoyousBee · 01/05/2025 21:45

I watched an interview a few days ago on Mr Menno’s YouTube channel. One of the former trustees of La Leche League who was forced out because she objected to the men’s invasion was talking about her experiences. She mentioned that she is part of group who will be announcing soon a new breastfeeding support group for women. She said they would be announcing the name of the new organisation soon.

Darkgreendarkbark · 01/05/2025 21:44

I would not go back. I would try and continue to meet up with the others. The group leader sounds like a lost cause, but if the group is part of a bigger organisation, I'd look at their policies and consider addressing the issue with them.

NextRinny · 01/05/2025 21:42

Oust the lead or make a new group. There's no saving her (and him).

KnottyAuty · 01/05/2025 21:42

I’m really sorry to hear this. I was devastated to hear about the La Leche League and how it’s been similarly destroyed. I do know that lots of BF counsellors are unhappy so if you look around you will hopefully find a GC bunch. Such a shame xx

efited to add: is this a private group or offered through a public service? If the latter you could write to the service to ask where their single sex group runs?