Banned from breastfeeding group for objecting to males breastfeeding

It seems I should have been clearer. The baby's father can I suppose call himself whatever he likes, but that doesn't change the fact that he cannot actually BE both the child's mother and father at the same time.

Nonsense.

This thread is by a new mother horrified and made to feel uncomfortable by the intrusion of a biological man into what should be a safe space.

The misogyny is appalling.

Sometimes I want to give the so called ‘pro trans’ lobby the benefit of the doubt. I definitely think trans people should be allowed to live presenting as they wish, and not have lives made difficult by hateful acts and unnecessary discrimination. But the fact anyone can defend a male seeking to both breasfeed and newborn and also involve vulnerable mothers in that - let alone defend the group that prioritises male need for validation over female safety and comfort - makes me think in fact ‘pro trans’ are not coming from a place of rational good intentions but of misogynistic dogma. It’s like defending a sex abuser being allowed in a rape crisis group. Some things are just wrong and should be clearly marked as such.

Not just ‘a certain members views’ though.

OP says
I am horrified as are the other women, where do we all stand

This suggests her views were shared by most of the group.

You clearly have no idea what misogynistic means 😂

No they didn’t, they had an issue with a certain members views that didn’t align with what the purpose of their group was and that was to provide support on issues related to breast feeding

And this support group is not legally recognized as single sex, so - as the organizers have seemingly made clear - all are welcome.

Cool

I think yours are misogynistic and delusional.

Sure and my opinion is that them doing so is enabling abuse of women in what is supposed to be a safe space for them.

I don’t think you fully understand the meaning of gaslighting?!

And yes I think your comments are extremely presumptive, narrow minded and ignorant

They discriminated against women members who were made to feel uncomfortable by having a male there in what should be a safe space for new and potentially vulnerable mothers.

For the record the risks of drugs in breastmilk are generally very overstated and I would be wary of condemning domperidone, in particular, if that is what is used by "trans women" to induce lactation, because domperidone is also used safely by many actual women to help them improve their breastmilk supply. FYI it is also completely safe to drink as much alcohol as you like whilst breastfeeding, so long as you have someone responsible to care for your infant if you are drunk and follow safe sleeping guidance.

I think what trans women produce is likely to be more or less breastmilk and very similar to what women produce in its basic composition and I can't think of an obvious plausible mechanism for it to be particularly harmful or dangerous in its composition per se. However, a trans woman will never produce breastmilk in quantities to meet the nutritional needs of an infant. As to whether the milk would have the same subtle, poorly understood and under-researched beneficial properties of maternal breastmilk is a complete unknown. What is known is that a 3rd party getting involved for no good reason is likely to disrupt the maternal-infant breastfeeding dyad and therefore potentially bring a premature end to breastfeeding or cause supply issues. So it's likely to harm infant and mother but not because it's some kind of poison. And personally, I am extremely dubious about trans identified males wanting to get a baby to suck on their breasts. I can sympathise with feeling uncomfortable in your sex but not with prioritising that feeling above your own child and their mother. Why would a man therefore be so driven to do this? He's either obsessed with being affirmed, or he's sexually motivated. We have to be able to talk openly about sexually motivated behaviour in men because the consequences of "not going there" have played out time and time again. See every scandal where men have sexually abused women/children/other men and those around them have just pretended it isn't happening.

That's certainly a valid way of looking at it. Another is that this person has been specifically told that they're welcome, and that people who disagree are free to seek support elsewhere.

OP confirmed the wife and baby also attend.

It wasn’t a private meeting though is was a breast feeding support group and they obviously didn’t discriminate as they allowed this person to participate

Which means as per the Supreme Court ruling they are biologically a male

Gaslighting.

A biological male attempting to breastfeed cares only for himself and nothing for the safety of the infant. It's abuse and anyone defending it is minimising child abuse.

The only nonsense is yours.

He shouldn’t be breastfeeding. Building up the breastfeeding bond between mother and baby is important in establishing milk supply at the start.
If he’s taking drugs to enable bf they’ll be bad for the baby.
This is all about him, not his baby or partner.
And he’s making most of the other women present very uncomfortable. So not fair at all.
Whether he’s a pervert or not I don’t know, but I do know he shouldn’t be there.

I would leave.

Unless the transwomen is also very thick, they must realise that the only advice they can be given is ‘speak to a doctor’/‘you could harm the baby it’s probably not a great idea to breastfeed’. This makes me think their motivations are then not to get advice, but to somehow affirm their own gender presentation by intruding on a private meeting where vulnerable women gather. This is abusive.

As you can’t use the correct ‘there’ I won’t listen to anything you have to say

Such narrow minded nonsense

No they are a man. A biological male. As now confirmed in law.

Some people practice something called “adult nursing relationship” which is basically breastfeeding as a kink.

I think it’s very unlikely there is even a baby in the first place.

I think that places him in a high risk category for being an abusive pervert

No it does not, a trans woman attended a breast feeding group to get breast feeding advice, that does not automatically make them an abusive pervert

My understanding having done quite a lot of reading of studies about alcohol consumption specifically (I breastfed dd for 3 1/2 years and like drinking!) is that there is no good evidence it does get through and quite a lot of evidence that drinking is not harmful to the baby in terms of transmission via milk (it exists in milk at about the same level as in blood, your blood does not turn to alcohol even if you die of drinking. A woman having consumed a bottle or more of wine would have milk about as alcoholic as orange juice). The advice not to breastfeed when drinking is more so you don’t get drunk and harm the baby. Like everything to do with women’s bodies this is massively understudied and what we do know (that you can drink and feed and it’s probably fine for baby) does not fit the social messaging so is not passed on to women. I haven’t done as much reading about other drugs but again I think that there is scant research to draw robust conclusions. I have seen some studies about transwomen lactating that show they do produce fats and proteins and so on so milk is not necessarily totally void of nutrition (though not comparable to mothers milk) - but again these were tiny studies on one or two people and not robust science we can draw conclusions from.