Banned from breastfeeding group for objecting to males breastfeeding

Amazed at the number of posters on this thread who don’t see the material difference between a man attending to support his partner, and a man attending because he wants to stick his nipple in his baby’s mouth.

Of course it's child abuse. It's a grown man forcing a child to suck his nipples. Nothing other than perversion.

This person is absolutely not feeding that baby. They may be producing some form of secretion but it will be doing nothing to nourish the baby.

I don’t have a lot of great father stories to tell you about my ex but 100% he was there for the right reasons, like supporting me and driving me because of our daughter so I could feed her. He wasn’t the only father there and all of my breastfeeding mums had been to the same group.

@snickerdoodle1990
Contacting the press is a good idea from posters above.
Alternatively there are several ex LaLeche Trustees who have challenged the inclusion of men in breastfeeding groups, one is Ruth Lewis on x: @brupe who can point you in the right direction for help/ support.

You could also contact the children of transitioners group, with further details- ie where, when- as they have had a lot of contact with the NHS about this, you can read more about these issues on their website

childrenoftransitioners.org
on x : childrenoftrans

Many apologies but I haven't read the full thread, so may be repeating what others have said. I would like to add a word of caution here. You state:
'the trans-woman is wishing to breastfeed too, apparently through use of hormones and domperidone'

Fantasies and reality are 2 different things. This practice - men using drugs to produce a liquid to feed babies and subjecting babies to lactophilia - is not permitted by the NHS. If staff enable it, or know a man is obtaining drugs privately and abusing his child in this way, and fail to report it to the safeguarding team, they can face 'all options' in law (quoting a government minister there). If this man's fantasies are being enabled by any NHS staff please advise area/ Trust if known. You can do this direct to the Trust safeguarding team, the Cots group, NHS England (email address online) and they should involve regulators/ the police as necessary. In addition, using infants as victims/ props in sexual fetishes such as lactophilia is a criminal offence in the UK.

Not just enabling CSA - this practice is not an authorised medical intervention for men in the UK, and there are NO ongoing authorised medical trials to my knowledge in the UK. There is also further information on this issue online by (midwife?) Milli Hill. If this man is being enabled by a private hospital this needs to be reported.

Finally as you know a man can never be a mother in reality or in law. The UK Supreme Court ruled in the Freddie Mcconnell case it causes emotional harm to a child to lie their father is a mother or vice versa- it is abusive. Links below

childrenoftransitioners.org/2023/07/15/six-children/
https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2023/04/10/paperwork/

https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2021/09/25/not-shutting-up/

I am really sorry you are experiencing this pressure and hope that you are able to find SS breastfeeding support- and also reach out to some of the links above to ensure the baby of the man concerned is protected from harm and abuse.

This is child abuse of a defenceless infant

FFS Don't be ridiculous!

So you’re all supposed to sit in a circle cheering on a man who wants a baby to suck on his nipple? I’m sorry but the female only/privacy issue is secondary here. This is child sex abuse happening in plain sight and the organisers of the group are facilitating it. There is no reason ever for a baby to suck on a man’s nipple. It is not necessary to the babies health or wellbeing in anyway. Children are not props to validate the identity/fetishes of porn-sick, narcissistic men.

The Humpty Dumpty approach to what words mean.

What is a man getting from these sessions that is so important that it's worth putting off some of the women actually doing the feeding?

Well WRT TiM, and possibly other men, it doesn't require a genius to work that one out.

When i was trying to breastfeed my daughter i was told to avoid/limit:
Caffeine
Decongestants
Certain painkillers
High mercury fish
Herbal remedies

But apparently a bloke can pump himself full of hormones to induce lactation and that's absolutely fine? Just as healthy and safe as a woman's breast milk? Yeah, alright then🙄

Do your research and inform yourself before commenting

I would have no issue whatsoever with a counsellor providing support to a woman outside a group, and her partner happening to be there. The problem for me arises when there are men attending a group session. As I've already said, some women will self-exclude. What is a man getting from these sessions that is so important that it's worth putting off some of the women actually doing the feeding?

What sort of “change” should we be accepting then, in your mind ? The sort of change that leaves women with no single sex space ? Where even a breastfeeding support group can be disrupted by a man ?
How about men who identify as little girls , should they be able to go to a nursery class ?

They can certainly place their nipple inside the mouth of an infant. What they cannot do however is “feed” the baby.

This is utter madness, on the highest level, beyond bonkers.

The world has indeed fallen off its axis. You and all the other women need to vote with your feet. No, you shouldn't have to and it's so so wrong but by people not leaving the group it just makes it more acceptable. Fuck being PC, it's just fucking crazy. A man, no matter what he/she identifies us cannot breast feed and if they can produce milk by pissing about with their hormones, what the hell is in it. And I bet half these people insisting men can breast feed wouldn't for example have the covid jab, yet are happy for a baby to drink synthetic breast milk just to be inclusive.

Fucking gobsmacked.

That is a brilliant way of looking at it, “hiding it for them” 👏🏻

So open-minded your brains have fallen out. How is it in the baby's interests for a male to have a go at breastfeeding? How it is in the mother's interests for her partner to try to do some of the feeding? Breastfeeding works best when mother and baby learn together and the mother's body responds to the baby's needs. This is a job for the female humans, not the males. If the father doesn't understand that, the role of the counsellor is to explain it.

However, it does matter when they start to use a baby as part of their role-play, and it does matter when they expect everyone else to go along with this while suppressing any misgivings because we must always “be kind”.

They can believe what they like inside their heads but they have no right to expect us all to believe and behave as though they are ACTUALLY female, actually mothers, and actually breast feeding.

There is a line somewhere we draw between freedom to call yourself what you like, and the practical consequences of acting out as if that is reality and expecting everyone to go along with the pretence. This is how boundaries are lost, and very often, boundaries matter particularly to those who are the more vulnerable in a particular situation.

That is not a bad idea...

And weirdly, we are supposed to hide it for them by pretending not to see it.

Am I correct in thinking that the SC ruling doesn't apply to private groups, i.e. they can include TiM even though on the surface they are women focused, like the BF group? I admit I am confused.

Also I agree that any TiM wishing to attend such obviously female focused groups have fetishes and enjoy seeing women's breasts and the process of breastfeeding. I cannot understand the compliant handmaidens in the group at all!

On the other hand, I have a feeling that if women were welcome to attend a prostate examination support group, the males of the group would love it and would enjoy showing their genitals off to women. That's why they would be allowed in!

Exactly. They don't hide it.

Hard disagree. This is child abuse of a defenceless infant and that's before we get into the colonisation of female spaces that women want and expect to be male free.

Yeah, maybe they're open to paedophilia and putting a man's fetish above a baby and its health. Jeez, be more open minded....

🤮

There are different types of group. In our area dad's can attend with their babies but I have only seen that with newborns and they are very focussed on being the supporter/roadie. They stayed for the minimum amount of time possible and were not attempting to integrate themselves into the group as a participant or user. They didn't try to interact with the other women and were very respectful in their presentation to avoid interfering with the privacy and dignity of others. they didn't put themselves in front and centre asking for advice for them - obviously if the group is 1.5-2 hours long there is only a finite amount of time for the leader to help. A male with a completely novel presentation different to all the women will obviously take up more than there fair share of the available time. I remember sitting for a long time waiting my turn, desperate and week after week for months. In the end noone could help with our problem which was oral sensory sensitivity and while I could have taken up entire sessions I didn't! I was concious I had to share and be considerate of others. At times I booked one-to-one sessions for this reason. This male should be similarly considerate - not only of the time but that many women will not want to show their nipples to strange men at a vulnerable time. It's bad enough in front of strange women!