Thank You from a Trans Lurker

How do you have any idea how "male" the OP appears? Trans men are now expected to use women's loos or unisex facilities in the UK except in very rare exceptions. I know the OP lives abroad but I'd be welcoming of him in any women's space I needed to use.

I used to think like you. A trans woman came onto this forum to plead the case for the genuine tw's who just want to get on with their lives. I wholeheartedly agreed, but pointed out that there were occasions when spaces defined by sex were necessary ( rape crisis centres, medical facilities, the usual) and that I'd be happy to join the fight for safe third spaces, because everybody deserves the right to privacy and dignity.
That's when I discovered that I was, in fact, a hypocrite, a bigot, a transphobe. Once I got over that shock I did as I was told and educated myself. My attitude to trans women (the old fashioned kind) hasn't changed. But now I'm fully behind keeping women's spaces for women. I might be ok with the occasional transwoman slipping quietly into the ladies' at the local pub, but 1. the blatant erosion of sex based rights throughout society has made that more difficult for everyone. And 2. the women who aren't ok with it are important too.

OP unfortunately if you were a trans woman you would have been torn to shreds on here. Every post would state you're a man and refuse to entertain your thoughts on the matter. I find it a bit hypocritical. I wonder if they'd be happy to call you he/him as you probably prefer being a trans man as they certainly wouldn't call a trans woman she/her. Some of the comments about trans women are quite horrible to be honest. I do understand the needs for women's rights and spaces obviously but I find the disconnect between how trans women and trans men are treated quite strange. You have both wanted to change to the opposite sex yet you are treated with respect on here and any trans women is thrown to the fire. No one has really challenged you at all in the way they would a trans woman. I guess it's because you now identify as a man and men are not their concern. Fair enough, I get that. But a bit of understanding both ways would be nice. It's a shame for the many trans folk who just want to go about their lives that some have ruined it for them. Anyway I wish you all the best in life, more accepting conversations like this is the way forward hopefully.
Just to add I am not trans myself, just would be nice if the discussion was a bit more balanced about trans men and trans women. If people are GC then surely they feel the same towards trans men as they do about trans women.

Here you would be refused access to the men's as you're biologically female but could also be refused access to the women's because you look too male.

Well, hopefully, there will be courageous trans people willing to face the ire of the greater trans community, who will come together in some association outside of the LGBT+ sphere, for the time necessary to get the changes done.

"Are you now using womens facilities?"

As mentioned in my OP, I'm not in the UK. If I came to the UK, I guess I'd be looking for unisex toilets. If there aren't any and I really had to go, then yes, I'd be using the women's loos, and hoping that nobody gets scared of me, even for a millisecond.

Here at home, we don't typically have unisex toilets. When there are, I use those. Otherwise I've been using the men's loos, though I've been made aware on this forum that this too can cause problems.

The reason the OP is being treated with respect is because they are being respectful, thoughtful and interesting.

Thank you for your posts, @Seethlaw .

Something some of the drive by ploppers might want to consider.

I believe it just didn’t gain much traction as the TA’s already had the ear of all the major organisations. Which is a shame.

"As someone who has transitioned yourself do you not have any empathy for how the genuine trans women are being treated at the moment? The ones who just want to get on with their lives without encroaching on anyone else?"

I've always had empathy for such transwomen. But how exactly are they being mistreated? They are not the ones who come here and either attack women or pity themselves, so they are not the ones being torn to shreds. Nobody is calling for them to be harmed in any way. The only ones who have actually harmed them are the trans activists.

"The reasonable trans people need to get together to make the changes they now need e.g third spaces etc. Let's hope that happens."

That's going to be difficult. Reasonable trans people are usually pariahs within the trans community, and are most often hounded out of it (including out of spaces they themselves have created! I've seen it happen.) Whoever decides to take on that task will likely face enormous opposition from within the T community.

Was there any response from political parties at all or didn't it get that far?

"As someone who has transitioned yourself do you not have any empathy for how the genuine trans women are being treated at the moment? The ones who just want to get on with their lives without encroaching on anyone else?"

I've always had empathy for such transwomen. But how exactly are they being mistreated? They are not the ones who come here and either attack women or pity themselves, so they are not the ones being torn to shreds. Nobody is calling for them to be harmed in any way. The only ones who have actually harmed them are the trans activists.

"The reasonable trans people need to get together to make the changes they now need e.g third spaces etc. Let's hope that happens."

That's going to be difficult. Reasonable trans people are usually pariahs within the trans community, and are most often hounded out of it (including out of spaces they themselves have created! I've seen it happen.) Whoever decides to take on that task will likely face enormous opposition from within the T community.

Two transwomen tried this. It didn’t go down too well.

https://mirandayardley.com/en/a-plea-for-third-spaces-for-transmen-and-transwomen/

https://joaniwalsh.com/uks-first-transphobia-trial-thrown-out-trans-defendant-says-it-was-the-worst-10-months-of-my-life/

Sorry, to be more specific, the case was thrown out.

A lot of the posts are extremely mocking of trans women, maybe you haven't read too many. That's how many come across to me anyway. They are always ' a man in a dress' But yes I guess on this forum of women that is only to be expected. It's a sad state of affairs that they have all been lumped together because of the actions of some of them. As someone who has transitioned yourself do you not have any empathy for how the genuine trans women are being treated at the moment? The ones who just want to get on with their lives without encroaching on anyone else? Because I'm sure there are lots of them who are quietly doing just that. I'm sure a balance will come in time. The reasonable trans people need to get together to make the changes they now need e.g third spaces etc. Let's hope that happens.