Thank You from a Trans Lurker

I don't validate anything; I just feel/sense or not. So I can see with my eyes and touch with my hands that my body is female, and I can sense with my sense of proprioception that I'm male. So from there, I have to choose which senses I'm going to favour (maybe that's what you meant by validating?) And I choose the proprioception because that one is constant. I'm not constantly looking at or touching my body, but I am constantly sensing it internally. So if one set of sensations has to align on the other to reduce the feeling of dissonance, I'm going to favour proprioception over seeing and touching.

"Did you ever explore accepting your body in its unaltered form and celebrating and honoring it for what it naturally was, physically?"

I think so? I spent many years superficially convinced I was a woman, and living as such, complete with dating a man, getting married, getting pregnant and giving birth. I don't think I could do much more?

The thing is, you can't have your cake and eat it too. That person called the attention of everyone onto themselves by choosing to be called "Mx". They didn't have to do that, but once they do, it's only logical that people look at them twice and wonder.

Too many trans people want society to shape themselves around them but at the same time they want everyone in society to pretend to ignore them entirely. I'm sorry, but that's neither fair nor possible. Other people are not extras in the movie of our life. They have their own life, and if we ask them to modify some parameter in that life to accommodate us, they have the right to express an opinion or ask questions about it.

If I were in the UK, yes, the recent ruling would make my life is a little bit harder, mostly in that I would have to use the women's loos, and I don't feel comfortable doing that because I'm always worried a woman will think I'm a man at first glance and feel anxious about my presence. Other than that, I don't think it would change much?

In fact, I'd argue it might make some other things easier. For example, the ruling explicitely states that where the presence of a trans man might cause trouble for women, other accomodations should be provided. Would that mean that I could go to a gynae's office and not have to sit in the waiting room with the women and girls, making everyone nervous about what the hell I'm doing here? I'd like that!

If I were in the UK, yes, the recent ruling would make my life is a little bit harder, mostly in that I would have to use the women's loos, and I don't feel comfortable doing that because I'm always worried a woman will think I'm a man at first glance and feel anxious about my presence. Other than that, I don't think it would change much?

In fact, I'd argue it might make some other things easier. For example, the ruling explicitely states that where the presence of a trans man might cause trouble for women, other accomodations should be provided. Would that mean that I could go to a gynae's office and not have to sit in the waiting room with the women and girls, making everyone nervous about what the hell I'm doing here? I'd like that!

Trans men have maternity protections certainty post SC ruling. The Scotgov argued they'd lose that. Thats no small thing!

Oooh, good point! It would make sense, really. Either they pass and then they get treated as women, ie. lower on the social hierarchy than what they are used to. Or they don't pass, and then they get treated like men who pretend to be women, which is once again lower on the social hierarchy. Either way, they lose in privilege - and thus feel victimised.

As far as believing in souls go, then yes. That's exactly how I described myself to a believing friend: a male soul in a female body.

Gendered brains, however... That's a much more complicated matter.

I do believe that brains are somewhat plastic, so can be moulded to a point by external influences. So for example, I believe that socialisation may possibly lead to differences in how male and female brains end up functioning.

I also believe, for having experienced it myself, in the power of hormones, so I believe that brains flooded by male or female hormones may possibly end up functioning differently.

But I also believe that those differences, if they exist, may very well be negligeable.

It's not just going to be on this board though is it. As this change to everyone being determined by their biological sex, not their preferred sex it is obviously going to affect much more areas of your life. I imagine being a trans man will get harder for you.

I think the bottom line is OP that you're accepted here specifically because you're a woman and not because of your identity as a trans man. Which is fine and understandable but it's still denying something you feel is your inner and outer being. I just wonder how that feels to you? I know there are no easy answers to all this.

The thing is, being a woman is an essential part of being a trans man. You can't separate the two. I couldn't be a trans man if I weren't a woman. So when I come into a space where the sex of the participants is paramount, such as a GC women's board, it makes total sense to me to be treated on the basis of my sex. My sex is my sex; it doesn't change, and sometimes it's more important than my gender.

@potpourree

"I wonder how often in your life is being (or being seen as ) a man/woman actually pertinent, and has this changed since transitioning?"

Honestly, in my every day life, the most relevant bit is what I'm called: Ma'am or Sir.

"For example, walking down the street, getting on the bus, doing supermarket shopping... I wouldn't expect my experience to be affected by my gender particularly"

Heh. There IS something but it's hardly quantifiable. And it's not just me: other trans men I talked to mentioned it too*. It's a sense of being more... valid? Of taking more space? Like, we're not ignored as easily in conversations. We're not dismissed as easily. People, both men and women, step around us a bit more (including literally in the street!) Our opinions are treated with more consideration. Stuff like that.

( * Of course, it could just be us projecting our new self-confidence around...)