Page 2 | Finding GC/sex realist men to date

Original poster

GCdater · 28/04/2025 20:47

Thanks for the comments! The lack of actual engagement from gen x men isn't surprising, but it is heartening to have my thoughts confirmed that they are not true believers.

I haven't attempted even broaching this type of conversation with gen x men in the country I currently live in because it's still in the repeat all the required mantras stage and it seems like many middle aged men who are generally socially liberal have taken a vow of silence about their views on gender, including when it comes to sports.

The SC ruling was reported in the media but with a faux baffled air of "what are those old fashioned weirdos in the UK doing" - the media didn't want to engage with it at all.

OP posts:

Another2Cats · 28/04/2025 20:00

SexRealist · 28/04/2025 18:51

I am not on the dating scene but I am of the same age and political orientation as you. I am vocal about my beliefs in mixed company and have not yet met a man in my social circle who is TWAW. Most, generally, haven't thought much about it, but when they do they come to a common sense (aka GC) view. Some have told me that they feel uncomfortable discussing it, even one on one, even though they agree with me, due to possible professional ramifications. So im(very limited, naturally)e Gen X men are generally cowardly, thoughtless but sensible.

Good luck with the move!!

DH and his friends are amongst the very first of Gen X (or the very last of the boomers).

Whenever I've heard this issue being raised with any of them, their reaction is very much as you say.

GaraMedouar · 28/04/2025 19:57

I’d say Gen X men will pretty much all know what is reality of sex. In my experience they will agree with the big stuff - no men in women’s sports, or women’s prisons. However I found that they didn’t really care as it didn’t affect them directly. I feel very strongly about stuff but it was almost seen as unimportant. And I should stop going on about it !
One ex was asking me who I’d vote for in the US elections - a moot point as I’m English but he didn’t like my response that I would never vote for someone who couldn’t state biological reality. Apparently that wasn’t an important enough reason. Another ex had a daughter in guides and wasn’t really bothered about issues facing women until I asked him if he’d be ok with a male sharing accommodation with his daughter on a girl guide camp , or would he be bothered if a man in a dress followed his daughter into the ladies. Obviously he was bothered when it affected his daughter but generally he didn’t care much. I have a daughter who I care about individually, but I also care about all women and girls as a whole in society.

Summer2025 · 28/04/2025 19:54

GCdater · 28/04/2025 18:43

I've spent the last decade living in a country that's very captured by gender ideology but will soon be moving back to Britain. My reasons to move are personal and family related, but I have followed gender issues for several years, including all the hard won victories by the British terven (and the Cass report etc). These changes make me hopeful that I will be able to find some like-minded women friends.

But, I will be coming back as a single woman and having been out of the dating pool for a long time, I'm wondering what it's like to date as a GC/sex realist woman... I'm in my late forties and will be looking to date men in a similar age range (basically Gen X). I used to be a typical Guardian reader and the sectors I've worked in are all typically "captured", but I defected to The Times and I'm pretty much centrist politically now.

I know that for younger women, including women in their thirties, there is significant pressure to conform ideologically on the gender issue, including from men in that age range. I see such a range of stories about men on here, from misogynist lefty men hectoring women to men who think it's all nonsense. It's difficult to get a sense of what I'll be likely to encounter once I start meeting people/going on dates etc (this obviously presupposes I'll be able to get a date in the first place, and I know the dating pool of forties/fifties men is much smaller but that's a whole other issue!).

Am I right in thinking that Gen X men are far more likely to think it's all nonsense? Or is this wishful thinking?

I'm a realist and just meeting men who don't believe TWAW and understand that sex matters is really all I'd be looking for on this front, even if they need to be in stealth mode about it. There are obviously multiple other areas of importance around compatibility in dating and this is just one thing - I just cannot contemplate getting into a relationship with a man who literally believes in gender woo!

I'm interested to hear about women's experience dating as GC/sex realist, especially in my age range, and also the men who read and comment on here - do you feel like you're in a minority among other men?

I did read a post about "dating as a terf" on MN a while ago (more than a year I think). But it seemed to be from a younger woman telling men upfront on dating apps that she was a terf (and using the word terf specifically) which was off putting to lots of men by the sound of it, and she was getting a very negative responses from them. She did get some advice about signalling more subtly her GC views on dating apps as a way to filter men out, so that's an option, but I'm interested more broadly for now about what men's views are in general and women's experiences in dating and starting relationships as a GC/sex realist.

Any thoughts are appreciated!

My dh is in his 30s and usually votes green, is definitely not centrist.but says trans men are biological women, trans women are biological men and you can't change your sex.

I don't actually think people don't acknowledge biological sex outside of some extremely lefty circles.

Original poster

GCdater · 28/04/2025 19:48

fromorbit · 28/04/2025 19:17

In very political left wing circles gen x men can be either be very pro-trans or secretly or openly gender critical or even more likely duck out of the discussion. I think in alternative musical circles pro trans arguments are common, but also in those circles Gen X men remember the before times when men cross dressed a lot. So they might think transsexuals need support, but they might be very sceptical of multiple genders/pronouns and also be very aware that crossdressers can be harmless or creepy predators. They are probably going to be open to discussion about it. After all Gen x women are at the heart of the fight back so men are usually aware to some degree. As always the easiest thing would be open with sports as even pro trans men generally draw a line there. Obviously right leaning men generally think it is all nonsense.

Thanks - yes, sports are a good way in to this discussion.

OP posts:

Original poster

GCdater · 28/04/2025 19:44

DogeCon · 28/04/2025 18:58

I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t think it’s absolutely nonsense… but they do stealth that opinion because women say/indicate that’s what they think. Possibly preference falsification.

i once said something like “God, I’d block you instantly if you told me your pronouns!” and it definitely opened the door to him saying he thought the whole thing was gibberish.

A lot of us are in stealth mode unfortunately, and as you say, largely because other women are frequently the enforcers of this groupthink.

Living in a country where I have to be so careful about what I say I'm hoping it will be freeing to be less stealthy once I'm in the UK, but it's so ingrained at this point I know taking that first step to be more direct about my opinions will feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:

fromorbit · 28/04/2025 19:17

In very political left wing circles gen x men can be either be very pro-trans or secretly or openly gender critical or even more likely duck out of the discussion. I think in alternative musical circles pro trans arguments are common, but also in those circles Gen X men remember the before times when men cross dressed a lot. So they might think transsexuals need support, but they might be very sceptical of multiple genders/pronouns and also be very aware that crossdressers can be harmless or creepy predators. They are probably going to be open to discussion about it. After all Gen x women are at the heart of the fight back so men are usually aware to some degree. As always the easiest thing would be open with sports as even pro trans men generally draw a line there. Obviously right leaning men generally think it is all nonsense.

DogeCon · 28/04/2025 18:58

I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t think it’s absolutely nonsense… but they do stealth that opinion because women say/indicate that’s what they think. Possibly preference falsification.

i once said something like “God, I’d block you instantly if you told me your pronouns!” and it definitely opened the door to him saying he thought the whole thing was gibberish.

Original poster

GCdater · 28/04/2025 18:56

SexRealist · 28/04/2025 18:51

I am not on the dating scene but I am of the same age and political orientation as you. I am vocal about my beliefs in mixed company and have not yet met a man in my social circle who is TWAW. Most, generally, haven't thought much about it, but when they do they come to a common sense (aka GC) view. Some have told me that they feel uncomfortable discussing it, even one on one, even though they agree with me, due to possible professional ramifications. So im(very limited, naturally)e Gen X men are generally cowardly, thoughtless but sensible.

Good luck with the move!!

Thank you - that's good to hear and this is generally my assumption about Gen X men, but looking on from afar it's hard to tell if I'm getting it right. I mean, being less thoughtless would be great, but sensible is a baseline requirement!

OP posts:

SexRealist · 28/04/2025 18:51

I am not on the dating scene but I am of the same age and political orientation as you. I am vocal about my beliefs in mixed company and have not yet met a man in my social circle who is TWAW. Most, generally, haven't thought much about it, but when they do they come to a common sense (aka GC) view. Some have told me that they feel uncomfortable discussing it, even one on one, even though they agree with me, due to possible professional ramifications. So im(very limited, naturally)e Gen X men are generally cowardly, thoughtless but sensible.

Good luck with the move!!

Orangemintcream · 28/04/2025 18:47

I think most men will be biological realists.

The few who aren’t will likely be vocal about it and they are the ones that do the o line hectoring. Won’t date trans women though - ofcourse not. Thats different.

Most men mainly don’t care as it doesn’t effect them.

I think you’ll have plenty of choice. Other attributes though are probably still lacking.