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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Here's to the Mumsnet Terven - Roll of Honour

203 replies

TheHereticalOne · 16/04/2025 20:53

I've only just made it to Mumsnet after the decision this morning and wanted to congratulate to the marvellous Mumsnet Terven.

This has been years in the making and every one of you has resisted, in her own small or large way, the relentless gaslighting, bullying and Kafkaesque bureaucracy that tried to bully you out of saying or believing what you knew to be true and just.

I've seen Magdelen Berns rightly name-checked on X but I wanted as well to take a moment to acknowledge and thank the wonderful, clear-sighted, stiff-spined women on here who have tirelessly and patiently contributed to these boards over many years. Some are on the tip of my tongue (below) but I wonder if people would share the usernames that have stuck with them over the years. It seems like a good moment to reflect.

I'll begin with two stand-outs for me: Datun, RandomMess, LangCleg:

You have been a light for me (and I'm sure many others) in dark times when I would otherwise have felt shipwrecked alone on an island of sanity. Your logic and clarity have been a bulwark against a sea of insanity that I sometimes thought would lead me into madness.

And thanks to Mumsnet who steered a tricky course, especially in the early days of this when we had to behave like the bloody French resistance to avoid being sued to oblivion. Moderation was frustrating and we didn't always agree about the parameters but you doggedly kept the lines of communication open between us all here and I am so grateful.

Thank you.

Giant gins all round.

OP posts:
Hoydenish · 16/04/2025 22:15

babystep · 16/04/2025 22:10

I feel very similar. I lurk and name change but am grateful to everyone here who has helped me feel more certain about my position and to hone my arguments against the stuff I hear from overwhelming majority of my colleagues and wider sector.

However I remain ashamed that I have not spoken out at work even though there have been moments I could have- I have felt afraid of the reactions from people I manage, people I need to work with, all sorts of things.

I'm reflecting tonight on how/whether I can be a bit bolder now, because I can already see discussions about how this is regressive, oppressive etc. We can take comfort in legal certainty but in my sector and I'm sure others, there's a long road to go culturally/socially.

My love please don't feel ashamed - being afraid, is understandable. Have a hug.

don't tell anyone, I have a rep to keep up, rahhr

Justasmallgless · 16/04/2025 22:11

I’ve been here 18 years and am a lurker on this board and occasional poster.

All those who have articulated the arguments for women’s rights over the years which many of us have taken into RL.
I’m shit at names and even worse at usernames.

thank you one and all

babystep · 16/04/2025 22:10

VeraWangTea · 16/04/2025 21:57

I’ve learnt so much from this board. Genuinely it’s made me feel less alone while I have worked in an extremely captured career.

Im truly in awe of those brave women who have stood up to this madness. I can’t believe (and am ashamed) that I’m still so scared of voicing my views as I know I will be shunned at work

I feel very similar. I lurk and name change but am grateful to everyone here who has helped me feel more certain about my position and to hone my arguments against the stuff I hear from overwhelming majority of my colleagues and wider sector.

However I remain ashamed that I have not spoken out at work even though there have been moments I could have- I have felt afraid of the reactions from people I manage, people I need to work with, all sorts of things.

I'm reflecting tonight on how/whether I can be a bit bolder now, because I can already see discussions about how this is regressive, oppressive etc. We can take comfort in legal certainty but in my sector and I'm sure others, there's a long road to go culturally/socially.

BettyBooper · 16/04/2025 22:10

To all those names mentioned and to all those not. And to all the lurkers! Thanks for today.

This has been to the only place where I can be honest. Thank you xxx

Redshoeblueshoe · 16/04/2025 22:10

OK if I worded that badly it's because I have been celebrating tonight. Wine

Hoydenish · 16/04/2025 22:09

Whilst I am on a roll, here's tip of my hat to the scolders, to the monitors, to the ploppers and shamers. You make us more determined, so thank you. SorryNotSorry you are gnashing your teeth tonight. Hah.

Redshoeblueshoe · 16/04/2025 22:08

Also cheers to every woman that has banged in the odd fiver - or more. Such brilliant woman - all of you.
Well done.

Hoydenish · 16/04/2025 22:06

bluenova hi five for you * *

Give Me Five GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
bluenova · 16/04/2025 22:04

I’m a lurker and found out everything from this board and those amazing knowledgeable posters.
Thanks to them I know a response to every twisted argument by TRAs.
I’ve battled gender ideology at work and at my daughters school all with the brilliant schooling from these boards.

Hoydenish · 16/04/2025 21:59

A shout out to the lurkers, you are bloody ace, learning and finding out, quietly getting up to speed, having a WTF moment or seven along the way. I KNOW you are here. Hi fives, wims.

TheHereticalOne · 16/04/2025 21:58

MrsOvertonsWindow!

I'm just going to keep posting names as they occur to my aging brain.

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Theeyeballsinthesky · 16/04/2025 21:57

Honestly I think every woman here who has contributed to a thread or just lurked and read or lurked and donated, who read threads and thought “hmmmmm”, who maybe ignored the company instruction to put pronouns in their bio or corrected a form that said gender when it really meant sex. All of you, every single one of you make me feel bloody proud to be part of this place because all of it helped build the unstoppable momentum of MN & FWR in particular 💐

VeraWangTea · 16/04/2025 21:57

I’ve learnt so much from this board. Genuinely it’s made me feel less alone while I have worked in an extremely captured career.

Im truly in awe of those brave women who have stood up to this madness. I can’t believe (and am ashamed) that I’m still so scared of voicing my views as I know I will be shunned at work

Hoydenish · 16/04/2025 21:54

I am rubbish with names so can I say what they all said, please.

❤

WinterTrees · 16/04/2025 21:54

RedToothbrush always has great insight and huge knowledge.

But the brilliant thing about MN is the chorus of voices. Even women who mostly lurk and only comment occasionally make their mark.

GCITC · 16/04/2025 21:52

For me

Arabellascott
Nauticent
Boiledbeetle

FlowersGin

LittleBigHead · 16/04/2025 21:51

BruisedNeckMeat · 16/04/2025 21:46

I know she’s a controversial figure but Posie Parker was here first.

Yes, I remember her posting here - and then speaking at an event in Bristol really early in 2018. (Fair Play for Women or Women's Place UK, can't remember which). And I've name changed a gazillion times since then.

NotDarkGothicMama · 16/04/2025 21:51

I'm sure JKR is on here somewhere. Massive thanks to her.

TheHereticalOne · 16/04/2025 21:50

NonCrimeHakeIncident · 16/04/2025 21:47

Barracker

Quite right. It's been a while since I heard that name. Thank you.

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NonCrimeHakeIncident · 16/04/2025 21:47

Barracker

BruisedNeckMeat · 16/04/2025 21:46

I know she’s a controversial figure but Posie Parker was here first.

Projectme · 16/04/2025 21:43

For me
Hellofabore
Missscarletinthebathroom
Arabellascott
Nauticant (for her amazing work in relation to sandy peggie on here)

These plus others have really opened my eyes to feminism and I'm forever grateful to FWR on MN. Thank you!

NotDarkGothicMama · 16/04/2025 21:40

SwearyGodmother ❤️

TheHereticalOne · 16/04/2025 21:36

GCAcademic!

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TheHereticalOne · 16/04/2025 21:30

These are all great shouts - agree with every single one!

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