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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Secondary School complaint about mixed sex changing rooms. Update, school response and request for help writing the escalated complaint to governors

364 replies

TangenitalContrivance · 05/04/2025 16:56

Hello everyone. Some may remember I asked for help with a complaint to my daughter’s secondary school in Brighton which allows Males into female changing spaces. Including swimming, without informing either children or parents.

this is clearly a safeguarding issue, borderline illegal and must not be allowed to stand.

I’m going to have to take the whole thing through a governors complaint and even higher, which I am willing to do.

please, if you can, could you read my complaint and the schools subsequent response and give me pointers for what to say in my follow up.

feel free to use the original complaint at your own school. You will be surprised how many are doing this!

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U53rName · 25/04/2025 21:53

That’s not what “should not be permitted” means though…

TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 21:51

I assume the school may try and get away with it by saying they allow children who object to mixed sex changing rooms to have their own spaces if they ask

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TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 21:47

I am of course very pleased and will be following up with the school about this tomorrow

OP posts:
TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 21:46

Literally came here to say this and link!!

OP posts:
ThisLoftyBrickOP · 25/04/2025 21:09

GC you beat me to it! This is great for you OP.

GCAcademic · 25/04/2025 21:07

@TangenitalContrivance
Have you seen the interim guidance just released by the EHRC?:
https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/media-centre/interim-update-practical-implications-uk-supreme-court-judgment

It states:

"Schools must provide separate single-sex toilets for boys and girls over the age of 8. It is also compulsory for them to provide single-sex changing facilities for boys and girls over the age of 11.
Pupils who identify as trans girls (biological boys) should not be permitted to use the girls’ toilet or changing facilities, and pupils who identify as trans boys (biological girls) should not be permitted to use the boys’ toilet or changing facilities. Suitable alternative provisions may be required."

RapidOnsetGenderCritic · 25/04/2025 20:24

Madcats · 25/04/2025 08:50

I’ve not RTFT, but were you aware of this recent case in Scotland: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g9v0d4v43o.amp

Thanks, interesting article. I think the issue is partly caused by the Scottish Government issuing "Transgender Guidance for Schools", which is obviously guidance which only considers a trans point of view, ignoring all other considerations.

TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 13:14

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 25/04/2025 08:43

Then, at the risk of sounding trite again, milk it. Explain that because of your ND, you require all the comments, questions etc that will be made at the hearing to be sent to you in full X number of days before the hearing (and pick the amount of time before hand that would make you comfortable). You can then prepare an answer or response to each in your own time.

But I would also still try to have someone there with you. Is there anyone from SSA @2fallsfromSSA who could be with you?

Basically asked this.

OP posts:
TwoLoonsAndASprout · 25/04/2025 08:43

TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 08:12

It’s actually that exact ND situation.. :D

Then, at the risk of sounding trite again, milk it. Explain that because of your ND, you require all the comments, questions etc that will be made at the hearing to be sent to you in full X number of days before the hearing (and pick the amount of time before hand that would make you comfortable). You can then prepare an answer or response to each in your own time.

But I would also still try to have someone there with you. Is there anyone from SSA @2fallsfromSSA who could be with you?

TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 08:12

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 25/04/2025 07:59

I hope this doesn’t come across as trite, but do you have anyone that you could take with you? Someone you could brief on all the issues who would be prepared to speak if you couldn’t?

Otherwise, you could, I suppose, ask for all the questions and comments from the school to be provided to you in advance, with sufficient time for you to prepare a response. I think that ND job applicants sometimes are given this opportunity - not the same situation, but maybe worth at least asking?

It’s actually that exact ND situation.. :D

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SinnerBoy · 25/04/2025 08:01

P.S. have them take notes.

SinnerBoy · 25/04/2025 08:00

I'd say that if you attend, have someone who's aware of the issues attend with you, for moral support. Take a few seconds to think about every answer, if you are questioned.

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 25/04/2025 07:59

TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 07:48

Small update: school have acknowledged receipt:

"I can formally acknowledge receipt of your request to proceed to Stage 2 of the complaints process, and I will be convening a panel of three Governors to consider your appeal.
I note the areas of concern you have outlined, along with the outcomes you are seeking. These will be included in the hearing papers. If there are any additional documents you would like the panel to consider, please forward them to me at your earliest convenience.
In line with the complaints procedure, the hearing should take place within 15 school days, with at least 5 school days’ notice and circulation of all papers to both parties. I am therefore looking to schedule the hearing between 9th May and 16th May.
Could you please confirm your availability within this timeframe. This will help in coordinating a suitable date alongside the availability of the school representatives and Governors."

However. My super power if I am honest, is being super organised when I have the time ro respond thoughtfully. Otherwise I tend to get 'emotional' (shout...) I really do not want to attend a face to face hearing - at least not one without significant time to consider all the schools responses.

What would you do?

Ask for it to be done offline and via email? Something else?

I hope this doesn’t come across as trite, but do you have anyone that you could take with you? Someone you could brief on all the issues who would be prepared to speak if you couldn’t?

Otherwise, you could, I suppose, ask for all the questions and comments from the school to be provided to you in advance, with sufficient time for you to prepare a response. I think that ND job applicants sometimes are given this opportunity - not the same situation, but maybe worth at least asking?

TangenitalContrivance · 25/04/2025 07:48

Small update: school have acknowledged receipt:

"I can formally acknowledge receipt of your request to proceed to Stage 2 of the complaints process, and I will be convening a panel of three Governors to consider your appeal.
I note the areas of concern you have outlined, along with the outcomes you are seeking. These will be included in the hearing papers. If there are any additional documents you would like the panel to consider, please forward them to me at your earliest convenience.
In line with the complaints procedure, the hearing should take place within 15 school days, with at least 5 school days’ notice and circulation of all papers to both parties. I am therefore looking to schedule the hearing between 9th May and 16th May.
Could you please confirm your availability within this timeframe. This will help in coordinating a suitable date alongside the availability of the school representatives and Governors."

However. My super power if I am honest, is being super organised when I have the time ro respond thoughtfully. Otherwise I tend to get 'emotional' (shout...) I really do not want to attend a face to face hearing - at least not one without significant time to consider all the schools responses.

What would you do?

Ask for it to be done offline and via email? Something else?

OP posts:
moto748e · 24/04/2025 22:36

And once again you think, Jeez, does no-one just think these things through?

thevassal · 24/04/2025 22:11

surely they've shot themselves in the foot a bit with this
"Any student who has a need or desire for increased privacy, regardless of the underlying reason, will be provided with a reasonable alternative changing area
such as the use of a private area or with a separate time to change."

As @SinnerBoy has queried, surely this means that, even if the trans child themselves feels happy changing with the pupils of their acquired gender, this confirms that if anyone else isn't happy changing with them then they will be allowed to change elsewhere.

Back in the dim and distant past, when I was a teen I would absolutely have desired a private changing room rather than being squeezed into a tiny one with three classes of other girls, so they are saying that any pupil can have a private space if they want one, even if the reason is just "because I don't want to get changed in front of anyone else" which is obviously completely unworkable in practice.

As a stop-gap while you are progressing your complaint OP, could you reply saying "as you have confirmed that any child who wants one will be provided with an alternative, I would like to accept this offer on behalf of both my children." (presuming they are happy with this)

Keeptoiletssafe · 24/04/2025 21:48

(Waves magic wand)

Direct from DfE:

In terms of health and safety in schools, all schools must adhere to the Health and Safety at Work etc. Act 1974. The employer in a school must take reasonable steps to ensure that staff and pupils are not exposed to risks to their health and safety.

The employer is required to ensure that a risk assessment is conducted and measures put in place to minimise any known risk. Employers, school staff and others also have a duty under common law to take care of pupils in the same way that a prudent parent would.

The employer in a school will vary depending on the type of school. For community, voluntary controlled, community special, and maintained nursery schools this is the local authority. For foundation schools, foundation special schools and voluntary aided schools the employer is the governing board. For academies and free schools, the employer is the governing board or academy trust and the proprietor is the employer in independent schools.

Schools must have a health and safety policy in place which the headteacher is responsible for implementing.

moto748e · 24/04/2025 21:38

Peregrina · 24/04/2025 21:28

What of those schools which are not under Local Authority control? Who does the buck get passed to then?

I'm sure that was listed upthread somewhere. Whatever the type of school, there is always someone responsible.

Peregrina · 24/04/2025 21:28

What of those schools which are not under Local Authority control? Who does the buck get passed to then?

SternJoyousBee · 24/04/2025 18:46

Brilliant letter.

I have not RTFT and I am sure you received some great quality advice from other posters.

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 24/04/2025 18:21

TangenitalContrivance · 24/04/2025 18:19

Oh give me time…

👏👏👏👏👏

TangenitalContrivance · 24/04/2025 18:19

moto748e · 24/04/2025 17:47

What makes Councillor Pickett so confident that Brighton Council won't be sued?

Oh give me time…

OP posts:
WarriorN · 24/04/2025 18:15

moto748e · 24/04/2025 17:47

What makes Councillor Pickett so confident that Brighton Council won't be sued?

I wonder if he still thinks that now….

WarriorN · 24/04/2025 18:14

moto748e · 24/04/2025 17:28

It's amazing that the lessons of PIE in the 70s weren't learnt.

nothing’s been learnt since Savile either!

abusers will always find a way.

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