Does anyone else resent the gender/ TERF wars?

And it is the trans movement that have indulged in violence and death threats to anyone who questions them. I have zero support for groups that indulge in this.

We've tried! It's trans activists who refuse to compromise one millimetre.

I resent that the debate is so divisive and doesn't seem interested in proposing solutions. It all feels really nasty. What's the way forward? Trans people exist, how can we respect their right to be in society without diminishing women's hard won rights?
I think it's the right wing stirring it up to create culture wars because they have lost all the other arguments tbh.
If we just say we need single toilet/changing room cubicles and that people born male can't compete in women's sports at a competitive level that's all too simple isn't it. People would rather prolong vicious arguments instead 🤷

I'm not going to cut men and women who have transitioned and the people who support them out of my life, why the hell would I do that? I'm from quite a posh and academic family so it's absolutely rife among my richer cousins and friends. I also have no interest in seeing people crawling anywhere.

Apparently someone didn't like the TRUTH being told...

Easy to say. I am frightened that something serious happens while I am being rejected by my children, with whom I was always close and had a deeply loving relationship.

I am chronically unwell, and though I am not expecting to die, I sometimes worry that if one of us dies, the rest will have to live their lives with that unresolved rift over something that is so utterly stupid and unnecessary. Women should not be having to fight for the word woman to continue to mean what it always has. What a stupid fight we have on our hands.

I resent that there are (objectively and obviously true) things I can't say at work (captured sector). I resent that, of all the protected characteristics, ours is the one that, ironically, dare not speak its name. I now believe the Equality Act should have a hierarchy and sex (and within that, female) should be at the top. As it's clear it's the characteristic that needs most protection.

Edit: spelling

It's a waste of time and energy that could be spent more productively.

If friends and family have been indoctrinated into the cult then it's best to cut them out of your life.

They'll come crawling back repentant eventually when the scales fall from their eyes.

Everything was going great until the "what is a woman?" question popped up...

Easy answer. A woman is an adult female whilst a girl refers to a young female child. Age is the distinction.

Female is related to the sex which has the capability to produce young. it comes from the latin word femella.

What people are turning into a first world problem is gender.

As woman are (unlike the animal world) often the more colourful and attractive of the two sexes to attract men (adult male) it has led to distinctions in gender, a social construct. in Pagan times women were held in high esteem as they were the 'life givers'. when organised religion came along, managed by men, women were reduced to second class citizens in their societal role to child bearing, cleaning etc. Since then women have had to fight to return to an equal footing, and still not there yet.

I resent it massively. I hate that so many people are moral cowards and will kowtow to a crazy ideology. It has affected me in RL. I was quasi disowned by a family member, who is a fully signed up member of the "be kind" brigade, when I expressed admiration for JK Rowling. It hurt.

I resent having to question what I read in the media. I resent being unable to do certain things for fear of being outed. I resent the time and energy staying informed costs, and the need to be constantly aware of the game in case some bugger is trying to redefine reality again.

We shouldn’t need to waste attention on something that is immutable. It’s like having to prove 1+1=2 before you can do your shopping.

I am deeply saddened, OP, as it has torn my family apart.

The men who have led us to this point, rich men, who have infiltrated, or paid for the allegiance of, international organisations, universities, governments, police forces, health services have done so for their own, fetishistic pleasure, with no regard for the women and children, whose lives they are destroying, or whose happiness has been taken.

I despise those men for their greed and for what they have cost me and so many others.

I resent it if i think about it.

I keep a few people I barely know on my FB purely to keep an eye on where the opinion market is on this. In particular, a gay male couple in their early 30s, one of whom is a vascular surgeon and the other a media person [slightly altered jobs to reduce outingness]. Both are unrelentingly vicious to the slightest tinge of lack of belief that a person was always the sex they currently proclaim, or of any lack of opposition to any of the key court cases for women's rights. So at least I can't delude myself that 'the tide is turning' in any way that makes a difference in how I can express myself. The legal framework is distinctly less hostile than it was 5 years ago, and some important areas of policy have changed, but for them and I assume their entire social circle, nothing has changed at all from 2018 except that their antennae have become more sensitive.

I resent the mind virus of transgenderism, yes.

Thanks Theeyeballsinthesky
Cool name by the way.

t it was the issue from which all others flowed. You can’t protect and support women unless you can define women.

exactly exactly that!! And TRA know this which is why they were so desperate to mangle language and “no debate”.

Stupidity annoys me, especially in the highly educated. There are some people I cant discuss this with because they are too bigoted and brainwashed. That makes me angry.

I’m so sorry that has happened to you @unlimiteddilutingjuice :(

Yes. Being a TERF has had a huge effect on my life.
I was very publicly bullied out of an organisation I was volunteering in, lost a load of friends.

Even my family is now very cautious around me because a sibling is trans. There's a lot of hand-wringing about whether I'm a "safe" person to be around. And under what circumstances. I've not been home for Christmas. Had family holidays cancelled. That kind of thing.

I feel anxious and isolated because of it and I'm currently in counselling.

I always thought that it would be possible to stay friends with everyone so long as I remained respectful and polite. Sadly, it wasn't. Because the atmosphere around the debate is so toxic.

I can see that things are starting to change now. And I'm glad. But it's come too late for me.

I must admit that when this first came up on MN I wondered why feminists were becoming so exercised by what seemed a side-issue, especially when there were so many other issues affecting women. But then the Women’s Equality Party (that I had been quite excited about) stated its support for TW and couple of threads on here made me realise that it was the issue from which all others flowed. You can’t protect and support women unless you can define women.

I don't talk about it a lot in real life. And while this sticks in the craw a lot, I keep reminding myself that some people have a completely different context to me, in terms of the media they've been exposed to.

Imagine what your understanding of this topic would be if you only ever got your info from The Guardian, BBC, left leaning SM? These types of people are light years behind in understanding what's going on.

Me too. I particularly resent that (some) younger women have been brainwashed into it, it’s so sad and counterproductive. A friend’s daughter is still a student and really into this stuff and I just feel sorry for her because she can’t see it’s all bollocks. She hasn’t had enough life experience yet.

Yes I resent it. I am furious that such a sexist, misyognsitic, homophobic, harmful, illogical ideology has permeated our institutions and companies.

Think of what women (and men) could have achieved if idiots hadn’t spent time embedding this only for us to have to fight to get it out again.

I am very angry about it.