Transman tries to join female and non-binary space

Who's bullying?

Nobody is making comments on her tiktok AFAIK?

She chooses to put herself, her experiences and views on tiktok for people to see. The whole point of tiktok is to get people to watch and engage with your content.

I'd she makes content like this people are going to discuss it.

If she doesn't want to be discussed she could...you know...not post her life online?

Do you know how many people make posts about my person life? None. Because I chose to keep it private.

This is Mumsnet right? So we are here because we have children, at least in theory?

Why then are people bullying and harassing someone they've found on TikTok? Not a celebrity or anyone particularly putting themselves out there, but just a personal TikTok page? Would you like your children to be treated this way? Would you like it?

Trans people are just people trying to live their lives. I don't know if Frankie is neurodiverse, but a lot of you are speculating that he is. Surely this makes this nasty bullying worse?

Side note, has anyone met a trans person? They really are just like everyone else! As a cis woman, I have never cared who else is using the bathroom as the women's has cubicles. What is going on behind the closed door isn't my business, or yours.

Perhaps the women in the walking group were worried about causing offence if they asked a transman if they were there for a women's event

I'm surprised Myra Breckinridge hasn't been cancelled yet - probably it's too old and obscure and weird a film - but you know it's a male fantasy of transition when some guy gets on an operating table and wakes up as Raquel Welch.

As if there are more than a handful of actual women who look like Raquel Welch.

I don't think it's sex blindness because we all know the differences between the sexes but more so the inability to feel somebody else's lived experiences.
How could a woman writer know the lived experienced of a male character, she can't, so writes a female centered fantasy of what the perfect male would be for her.

I think that sums up the trans movement.

It's a fantasy of what they want.

There's a guy on BookTube who did a video on how male novelists can be terrible at writing women. We can all think of examples. He then did a companion piece on how women novelists fail when writing men.

A lot of that is romance authors creating impossibly perfect love interests for their heroine. He works a strenuous manual job but he always smells of fresh cedar. (Or, more absurdly, a YA book where a teenage boy is mentioned as smelling good.) He's got genius level emotional intelligence. He's monogamous to the point of not even looking at another woman.

But another key point is that, in general, women really suck at writing realistic male friendships. (He didn't go into this, but there's also the slash fic written by straight women that's supposedly about gay male relationships but bears no earthly resemblance to gay male sexuality)

I think a certain degree of sex blindness is natural. What's staggering is that people who think they are the opposite sex seem to have more sex blindness than anyone else.

I have too - just once. Mercifully empty!

Women who think they are men have as little understanding of men as men who think they are women have of women. It’s quite staggering.

It’s a sort of sex blindness.

I imagine there’s a fairly major correlation, yes.

I often wonder why these people seem to have no self awareness?

Do they not analyse their own behaviour at all and try to fathom how others perceive them? Is it narcissistic by nature to be trans?

I have but I realised pretty sharpish. As have one or two males I've encountered,massive embarrassment on their part.

Getting "I'm the only gay in the village" vibes there.

I posted about this recently, because I am in an embroidery group on Facebook where someone recently posted something along the lines of, "Can we please make an effort not to say things like, hey ladies, because not everyone in this group is a woman" and literally every single person who commented saying, "Yes! Thank you! I'm not a woman!" was a trans man or female non binary person.

A lot of trans people find themselves in a weird in-between stage, where they don't identify with certain narrow stereotypes of their sex (not too far removed from the jocks and girly girls of American high school movies) but actually do behave in a fairly sex-typical way and often have interests, often of a nerdier variety, that generally appeal much more to people of their own sex. If they actually try spending time with the opposite sex they end up feeling horribly out of place, and actually get on better with people of their own sex with whom they share outlooks and interests.

There's the comic artist ND Stevenson, who used to be known as Noelle but then became Nate (he/him) and seems to have settled on just the initials.

Stevenson has a very distinctive art style. At the risk of stereotyping, it's an extremely girly style. No male comics fan will look at a piece of Stevenson art and say "this was drawn by a man".

A lot of trans people find themselves in a weird in-between stage, where they don't identify with certain narrow stereotypes of their sex (not too far removed from the jocks and girly girls of American high school movies) but actually do behave in a fairly sex-typical way and often have interests, often of a nerdier variety, that generally appeal much more to people of their own sex. If they actually try spending time with the opposite sex they end up feeling horribly out of place, and actually get on better with people of their own sex with whom they share outlooks and interests.

People who from an early age have known they are into things strongly associated with the opposite sex tend just to accept it as a quirk of their personality and don't feel the urge to re-identify.

On the topic of men in toilets: if you're a repeat victim of male violence, two major factors in assessing your safety around a man are: (1) is he acting weirdly?, (2) how easy is will it be to escape or get help if he turns nasty? A man in a woman's toilet counts as both very weird and particularly difficult to escape from.

I think women often overestimate how well transmen pass as male. They really don't. The beards do all the heavy lifting, and men sense that they're not male even if they can't immediately put their finger on it.

But even beyond that, they can't connect with men as men because they have no idea how male friendships work. Few women do. Their female socialisation is something they can't get past any more than their female biology.

That's the hinterland that pp have mentioned. I feel sorry for them being isolated, and obviously female friendships are what they need, but I wouldn't blame anyone for saying "this person is far too high maintenance to bother with".

It's really sad that these people alienate themselves from society so much and then get upset that they're unable to integrate normally :(

I reckon the walking group dodged a bullet there.

I don't understand thus at all.

If they're a transman wouldn't they be trying to join a mens walking group?

It does.
In fact, the whole thing sounds very cleverly scripted just to demonstrate the pathetic silliness of it all. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was parody.