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Original poster

Pronouns - I’ve peaked 🥺

185 replies

MotherEarthisaTerf · 11/02/2025 21:59

I was a bloody typical “be nice” feminist.

I went from respecting all pronouns, to not respecting pronouns of people who didn’t respect women (eg Imane Khelif etc etc) and occasionally using they/ them.

Today I was reading a thread on Reddit re Dr Upton and it was such a world away from reading Mumsnet’s posts - where we happily call a spade a spade. Call a man a man.

Reading Reddit, the she / her pronouns just made the whole situation sound much worse for Dr Upton. It automatically appeared Dr Upton was going through more of an ordeal - and that’s not from the content of the posts, which were to be expected, the tone made me feel more sympathetic due to the pronouns used.

It feels much harsher but it’s MUCH clearer what the issues are when pronouns match the facts, not the niceties.

However it’s something I hugely struggle with. Anyone else out there who battle with this ick?

OP posts:
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Gallstoned · 12/02/2025 07:26

I was pro trans too, I hadn’t given it much thought and even argued that it might be good for women to get rid of the rigid boundaries of male and female. 😂
I honestly can’t remember what lifted the veil but I can’t unsee the misogyny now.

Bearsinmotion · 12/02/2025 07:23

I thought it was interesting that the BBC reports have been very careful to avoid pronoun use altogether, having previously been very she/her

MaggieBsBoat · 12/02/2025 05:44

HoldTheLine · 12/02/2025 02:56

I found once I read that article and stopped using false pronouns I couldn’t go back. Makes posting here in a way that doesn’t get me deleted/banned challenging.

This!
I was actually a full on TWAW person.
Then I was watching a video actually by a pro-trans organisation (wish I could find it now) and I experimented there and then with the swapping as the characters in the film were talking (as I was irritated by the incongruity of the very male TW). I couldn’t go back. It was like the scales fell from my eyes. It was honestly an epiphany.

This is a cult. Once you see it. You can’t unsee it.

Helleofabore · 12/02/2025 05:39

HoldTheLine · 12/02/2025 02:56

I found once I read that article and stopped using false pronouns I couldn’t go back. Makes posting here in a way that doesn’t get me deleted/banned challenging.

It is. However, in saying that I am of the opinion that I would rather play it safe and have my posts remain u deleted so will use they if I have to use any pronoun. It is frustrating to me but I don’t want my posts deleted.

HoldTheLine · 12/02/2025 02:56

I found once I read that article and stopped using false pronouns I couldn’t go back. Makes posting here in a way that doesn’t get me deleted/banned challenging.

StrongerThanYouTh1nk · 11/02/2025 22:39

It’s an attack on truth.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 11/02/2025 22:39

Reading Reddit, the she / her pronouns just made the whole situation sound much worse for Dr Upton. It automatically appeared Dr Upton was going through more of an ordeal - and that’s not from the content of the posts, which were to be expected, the tone made me feel more sympathetic due to the pronouns used.

It feels much harsher but it’s MUCH clearer what the issues are when pronouns match the facts, not the niceties.

Yes, give it time and you'll probably find it liberating not to gaslight yourself, I know I did.

BodyKeepingScore · 11/02/2025 22:29

Also, Reddit is militantly pro trans. So there's that...

Jerabilis · 11/02/2025 22:23

I think it's a phase a lot of us have gone through - welcome to the foothills! I think Dr Upton is going to peak a lot of people on pronoun use.