My 14 year old daughter has been sharing school changing rooms, including swimming, with a male. The school never told me, or her. What would you do?

“why do you believe this person is more likely to harm your daughter, than one of the other girls?”

Any male person has a risk of harming a female person that reflects the same risk that any other male person in the UK has of harming a female person. No stage of transition changes this.

The comparison here is male not female. There is very low chance of a female person harming another female person. There is a much higher chance of a male person harming a female person though.

Accurate language strips away the the obfuscation. It is important to use accurate language.

Irrelevant. Why can't these males just respect girls' boundaries?

1. The must be a homosexual argument?
2. The what about a homosexual argument?

Any male by seeking access to female spaces is causing harm.
• That male is causing harm by attempting to gain a right to wag his flaccid willly in a space from which he, a male, is excluded
• That male is causing harm by attempting to breaching the social contract which was created to protect females.
• That male is causing harm by attempting to create a social hierarchy based on the subjugation of female needs and rights.

Let me introduce you to the crimes of voyeurism and indecent exposure. Criminal offences that males usually target women and girls with. Hence why women and girls are afforded the privacy and safety that single sex changing rooms, showers, toilets and dormitories provide.

In promoting the presence of males in female spaces you are upending the social contract and safeguarding principles. You are instructing teenage girls that their undressed body is required by random boys for the purposes of validating their belief that their male body is actually female. You are telling girls that they have no right to privacy or boundaries if some males require them to undress in front of them.

If nothing else, a quick scan at the Ministry of Justice's damning statistics about sex offending amongst men - all men and those who claim to be women should make you think differently about the risks males pose to girls and women.

2. Because he is male and 99% of all sexual assault is carried out by males. This does not change if they identify as a female.

So no, I do not think someone who is 99 times more likely to commit sexual assault should be in a teen girls changing room.

The question is - why DO YOU?

Sexual assault can be more about power, it's not always driven by attraction.

Regardless, girls have a right to be able to change away from boys and men, yes even gay boys and men!

Teaching girls that males with a trans identity are always safe would be an epic safeguarding fail due to the number of middle aged, heterosexual male transwomen. Not to mention the existence of males who pretend to be trans for nefarious reasons. Recent history has warned us not to assume certain categories of male human are beyond suspicion.

Do you really not know that males (of any gender ID or none) commit the vast majority of all sexual and violent crimes?

@BigSilly why does it have to be harm they are worried about? Privacy and dignity also comes into it, and the gradual erosion of boundaries. If you tell young girls they have to let men and boys into their changing areas when do they get the right to say no?

1)my experience of teens tells me it's vanishing unlikely that a 'trans girl' in high school is sexually attracted to girls
2) why do you believe this person is more likely to harm your daughter, than one of the other girls?

Well, you could do this. It would mean leaving lessons early so that the boy was out of the girls' changing room before girls entered. The girls don't want a boy walking past them while they are changing.

He's a man. He knows men are the problem. Men are the problem.

Women wanted single sex spaces for their safety and privacy and so that they could go into the public sphere without the urine leash. Homosexuality was and is irrelevant, Lesbians don't rape other women. Cubicles with sinks etc are not the answer. Hidden cameras can be put in them, people can lurk in them - unisex changing areas and lavatories account for 90% of assaults on women in such places.

Transgirls are boys and teenage boys are high on hormones, to whit testosterone. They should be nowhere teenage girls who are in any state of undress. That's not transphobia. You are advocating rampant lack of safeguarding of girls.
And I wouldn't risk a girl who ID'd as boy in the boys changing rooms either.

You know exactly what he means - that he does not trust young men (however they identify) around his DD in places where she will be vulnerable, changing her clothes, or being partly unclad. Obviously he is not thinking about boyfriends, here.
And he is entirely right to mistrust males in such situations and the school is breaking the law in allowing them to happen as part of school policy. A word with the school? He should go ballistic (because, being a man, he knows what teenage boys are like).

Well, that's because we're support humans, isn't it? Not real people (as we do not have a penis). 🙄

Absolutely. Children don't learn if they're stressed, bullied and anxious about their days in school. And yes, hopefully the majority of schools have nothing to do with these toxic beliefs - or are cautiously rolling back their previous nonsense. But with the Unions hopelessly captured and the DfE only starting to unpick the grip that transactivists have had on education policy, it's left to parents to insist that schools comply with the law and safeguard our daughters.

100% this.

I note that there are plenty of secondaries who are NOT breaching the legal requirement for single sex toilets and changing. So the children in schools where this is allowed are disadvantaged compared to those schools.

I'd bet good money if anyone looked at the statistics the absence rate for girls in schools with mixed sex toilets will be much higher than where they have single sex. I'm also betting that - if anyone cared to look - academic achievement would be lower. Being gaslit, coerced, compelled to use non-standard English (pronouns) and deemed less important than the boys with girl feelings is not an environment conducive to outstanding academic success.

Very true. This has only got to these insane levels because parents have been silenced - both by their lovely children terrified of being targeted and by extreme transactivist adults who have been allowed to run amok in certain schools.
No school anywhere should have mixed sex changing rooms, showers, toilets or dormitories. The law is there to safeguard children and the OP's letter is perfect to raise a formal complaint against Stonewalled schools who have lost their sense and understanding of what it is to safeguard children from harm and are allowing girls (and boys) to have their privacy, dignity and safety from the opposite sex removed.

Please share the letter widely and encourage parents to use it as a template for their school if children are being treated like this.

That would be absolutely incredible and will double the impact - I know for a fact head teachers and senior leadership teams across Brighton speak to each other, the more parents who send in these concerns and complaints the more they will have to take responsibility and look after our children.

Did you even read the OP?!

Thank you ThePeppyMoose we will send this in today.

Please - will you take a copy of the letter above - and send it through to Patcham as an official complaint? Schools in Brighton especially are out of control and people are being hurt.

[email protected]

Put official complaint in the email header - and tell everyone what happens?

Brighton parents really HAVE to step up and be counted or the council will push this dangerous ideology onto our daughters

Won't take 2 minutes!!

What reality-suspending drugs are you on and where can I get them?

Can I just reiterate the point that completely private cubicles are NOT the way forward in schools as they are a greater safety risk. It’s often thought of as the solution to a problem that shouldn’t happen.

Medical emergencies: There was a successful campaign to get a defibrillator into every secondary school so it well known people collapse and you only have a set amount of time for resus. Private cubicles have a safety mechanism to open the door outwards because it’s known that bodies get in the way of opening the door when people collapse inside. When they feel ill people go to the toilet. Pupils who are spiked and those with conditions such as diabetes, epilepsy, heart conditions are most affected. Floor to door gaps should be big enough that you can see if someone has collapsed inside. Making spaces completely private is dangerous.

Sexual Assaults: A big issue that isn’t discussed, is that more private spaces are being created so there are more opportunities for unwitnessed sexual assaults. The last time I believe it was analysed and discussed at on a nationwide level was 2015/2016 investigated by the BBC then talked about in Parliament. There were 600 rapes reported in schools over a 3 year period. Store cupboards were the places mentioned. Disabled toilets are mentioned in other accounts. Basically a private, locked, mixed sex space. Remember there are only around 190 school days per year and that it was thought these figures were on the low side.

If you look at freedom of information requests you may find some answers on how many sexual offences have occurred in schools near you. You can also look up accounts on Everyone’s Invited.

This is one result (obviously affected by the pandemic) from a FOI to Essex Police September 2017-August 2020:
We searched upon all Sexual Offences recorded whereby the ‘Location Premises Name’ contained any of the following words:
“SCHOOL” “COLLEGE” “ACADEMY”
Offence Type Count
OTHER SEXUAL OFFENCES: 441
RAPE: 59
Grand Total: 500
322 of the suspects were under 18

I tried to find the equivalent FOI in Brighton&Hove but all I found was they were taken to the ICO for not disclosing similar information. I still don’t think it’s been released.

Please don’t take the solution to mixed sex spaces to be private cubicles. The solution is strictly single sex spaces with any cubicles leading off that have gaps so that:

1. it prevents, as much as possible, assaults happening in the first place and

1. they provide the greatest chance of a successful outcome when a child collapses inside.

https://publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201617/cmselect/cmwomeq/91/9105.htm

I hate writing about the sexual assaults. It’s truly horrendous. But it does show you why schools should be safeguarding against this and how naive they are if they don’t.

In a school changing rooms? This comment suggests that you're unfamiliar with schools, the UK education system or how girls experience the education system. 🙄