My 14 year old daughter has been sharing school changing rooms, including swimming, with a male. The school never told me, or her. What would you do?

No it actually highlighted the staggering reports of abuse specifically in lesbian relationships. Google it and you'll see.

Okay that's your preference but are you sure everyone feels the same? I strongly believe most of the young people today would see said young person as a teenage girl the same as them and wouldn't feel threatened at all.

I also know people who would feel differently about getting naked in front of someone of the same sex who is homosexual and would feel they have the right to know and protect themselves from being viewed sexually by them

It’s not all about ‘attacking’ someone or even ‘objectifying’ someone.
Single sex spaces are to afford women and girls privacy and dignity. Think of women and girls with a history of being abused, religious women. And women who just want to get changed or dressed without boys/men in the room FFS.
It’s really not difficult to grasp; although it seems to be.
We’ve had the shout of ‘transphobia’ the shout of ‘but lesbians…..’
Whats next- ‘ men who want to assault, etc etc will do so anyway’ blah blah
I’m really getting sick of it

So because Brighton is progressive’, men are permitted into any changing rooms, toilets without any recourse, and the women have to accept it meekly. What utter poppycock! !

Interesting because I read an article recently that said abuse and sexual assault/coercion are present at about the same rates in queer teens/young people (can't remember the exact phrasing) and their straight counterparts

@JustAskingThisQ I'm not sure I can quite believe what I'm reading here. Girls have a right to privacy, dignity and safety when they are changing in a school and that means same sex facilities. Sexuality has nothing to do with it. I would rather get undressed in from of lesbian friends than gay male friends and I know many women feel the same. However it does not matter how we as individual adults may or may not feel. It's not up to us to override the rights and protections afforded to girls.

Refer to the Cass report and updated guidance form DfE. Guidance from 2021 is now throughly outdated and times have changed. Stand firm OP.

Lesbians are not known for sexual assault - very few women commit sexual assaults. So I wouldn't be worried. Men are the danger, rather than women who may be same sex attracted.

I don't think that's true and irrelevant in this context. The likelihood of this student actually attacking a girl while in the changing room is miniscule. It's more covert things that could occur when you have people who could be attracted to each other naked in the same room.

Well

1. I think someone who isn't attracted to said gender is unlikely to attack said gender, hence my asking whether the student concerned is attracted to females.

2. When it comes to dignity, I'd say the issue with nudity in front of heterosexual males as a female is sexual objectification which can occur with anyone who is attracted to your gender. So by that merit, a heterosexual male or a female attracted to other females could sexually objectify you, publicly or privately.

3. This is all in the context of school changing rooms which are at least semi supervised. That means what one can do to another person is limited. However, some things could still occur. For example, someone could sneak a picture of someone they are attracted to while they are naked. But again, that could be anyone who is attracted to people of that gender.

I think we are at a time where people should be changing privately irrespective of gender.

Great question. And what type of person would suggest that safeguarding children is regressive / traditional?

Absolutely this ☝️.

Why should someone move out of an area that they may have been born in, have family and friends, jobs etc move because they don't want their daughter put at greater risk of sexual assault?

Why?
if she has not asked and she is not disabled.

Good grief. Safeguarding children is what all good parents do. Telling girls that they have no right to boundaries and must undress in front of random males is the opposite of safeguarding.

How on earth have we reached the point (at a time where sexual and physical violence against women and girls is out of control) that a poster on Mumsnet tries to gaslight a parent that they must insist their daughter strips off in front of males.

Unbelievable

Breaching the boundaries of women and girls by encouraging mixed sex changing is not progressive in the least bit. It is entirely regressive. Women and girls forced (because that's what is going on) to be undressed or partially dressed in the presence of males not of their choice is as regressive as it gets. It is sexual assault. It was this horrifying situation for women in eighteenth century prisons that led to Elizabeth Fry campaigning for single sex gaols. She was right. Brighton and it's toolkit are wrong, misogynistic and regressive.

@heyhopotato

I'm really surprised you choose to live in Brighton given your clashes with the culture. It's very well-known for being the most socially progressive and liberal city in the country, it sounds like you have very traditional views and would do best to live and educate your children in a place that shares similar views to yours. There are some more rural areas of East Sussex that would suit you better.

I was born here too. I would consider myself pretty liberal (I’d have a hard time living in Brighton and not be) doesn’t mean I have to agree to everything proposed though. I have 3 daughters, they obviously are my main priority. Whilst I wouldn’t want (the minuscule number) of trans children to feel anything but pride, I don’t see why my girls have to sacrifice their safety and comfort to facilitate it. Why does your trans child’s need trump my females child’s needs?

Lesbians aren’t nearly as threatening as teenage boys can be.
A boy of 14has no place in a girl’s changing room.
Just because he says he’s a girl doesn’t make him physically a girl.

No. Because a girl cannot rape or impregnate another girl. Girls are not statistically the main perpetrators of sexual assault.

Use your bloody noodle.

There is no special legal status for Brighton and Hove. The same rules apply as in the rest of England. The city is actually also more diverse than the LGBTQ+ lobby that wants to claim it gives it credit for. Btw, anybody know what the real reason was for Lloyd Russell-Moyle being deselected? I must say, I laughed heartily when I heard about that.

Yes. Pity the poor children of Brighton who are suddenly exempt from safeguarding because of Brighton so called "progressiveness". What a totally bizarre concept.

Ah here comes the homophobia

Would you feel the same if you knew one of the girls was a lesbian?

What's sexuality got to do with anything? We separate male and female to protect against assault and to ensure dignity - changing in front of people with the same bodies ensures that. We don't separate to stop flirting or sexual attraction.