Surrogate mother wins access to her biological son in landmark case - after gay couple said it was 'homophobic' for her to be involved in their 'motherless family' with 'no vacancy' for a woman

I will never feel OK about a baby being taken away from it's mother. I'm glad the right decision was made.

Two of the happiest, most stable families I know have same sex couples as parents - one male, one female. Their children are growing up to be lovely, grounded and successful young people. I don't think you can generalise like this - after all, we all know some appalling heterosexual relationships.

That said, in this case I fully support the rights of the mother, particularly given the highly patronising attitude of the adoptive parents towards her. That child is going to need a truly maternal influence in his life.

Surrogacy has been legalized in Ireland this year. Only 1 elected representative (Senator Sharon Keoghan - like a person in the House of Lords, but elected ) tried to get the legislation brought down. Like with the GRA in 2015, Ireland is now the most liberal country in Europe in which to traffic a child.

Loving the concept of a woman that, if a woman wants a relationship with her child, it must be an inappropriate one unless she is prepared to say she's "only" a surrogate and not a mother.

All of the letters except the inconvenient L one where women are mothers.

Yep,all the letters and whatever '+' means.

“LGBTQ+” environment? What- all of the letters???
Selfish, entitled pair. 1 day a fortnight for mother though? That’s mean.
An abusive father might get more
(anecdotal, no evidence to present to you. Though there might be)

Additionally, the couple may have been awful but apparently the child is thriving as do children adopted into same sex relationships.

the evidence shows the contrary. The best outcomes across all measures are children raised with a mother and father

if the trans debate has taught us anything, it’s that men and woman are not the same

Im sick of pretending it’s all ‘fine’
Almost every male gay couple I’ve ever encountered adopting or buying has had more than a hint of narcissism

<awaits deletion>

I cant read the article due to ad blocker, I thought surrogacy is illegal here? Bit confused.

This is an awful case and although some have said there might be a push to change the law, I think it highly unlikely there would be success. If it were successful those surrogate parents would then have to undergo the same rigours as parents who adopt. This, I assume would all be done before conception and then I assume, informal arrangements such as this wouldn't be allowed. I would have thought any move to totally remove the mothers rights in surrogacy would result in mothers getting more rights, not fewer.

Additionally, the couple may have been awful but apparently the child is thriving as do children adopted into same sex relationships.

Right,because we wouldn't want anyone to be confused by biological reality would we?
Imagine finding out that neither of your 'fathers' gave birth to you.

The horror.

Which council was it? They should be shamed, I’m guessing a man/handmaiden was in charge.

The court psychiatrist pointed out that people need to know where they come from and that the child would ask questions.

Being told he was from a 2-father family wasn’t an answer.

The shrink also said that the fathers’ ‘fixed and rigid thinking’ wasn’t in the best interests of the child. The fathers reacted with rage and exclusion at any perceived threat, repeatedly. The fathers didn’t consider the feelings of their son or his mother.

DFs accused the mother of being mentally ill (she isn’t) but the psych criticised the men’s behaviour for aggression and refusal
to consider the reality of their birth arrangements.

Psych said the child had a right to reality - ie to know his mother, who loves him.

Shame some men think no one, including their own child, has the right to reality when it comes to how humans, feelings, and biology work.

Yikes, the council ninnies. One of the reasons they lost so flamboyantly was that they only paid for lawyers for the baby buyers, not for the mother, so the judge had a go.

I do think the woman was a bit of an idiot. The 3 parents didn’t know each other that well. The couple made loads of promises about mother-son contact it became clear they weren’t going to keep before she’d given birth. She panicked, handed baby over and vanished. Then came back asking to see her son.

No one acted in a civilised way. The judgment makes them do that now.

she attempted to force contact at the most devastating time for our family with no apparent regard or insight into our feelings

Oh the irony.

Whatever her motivation going into this, the fact that she handed over the baby she had carried and nurtured with her body for 9 months after 7 hours is heartbreaking for both mother and baby. No wonder she was struggling with her feelings. Not that any man, especially those as entitled and self-centred as these two could begin to understand that. Surrogacy needs to be banned.

Meant to add- feels like they are mad with the jealousy of not being able to bring life into the world themselves- they hate women for it. They need psychiatric treatment, not a child to raise.

What revolting men. They sound fucked-up and ill-suited to raise this child 😔 They had difficulty accepting the reality of the conception? Felt that seeing his mother would confuse the child? Were they hoping they could convince the child he had been born of two men?! Absolutely rank misogyny.

Good heavens, in the US this was effectively decided in the 1980s. (It's called the Baby M case. Didn't involve a gay couple but was about the rights of the biological mother.)

It's why American surrogacy is all gestational. The states that legally recognise surrogacy are all based on that. It's not illegal to do traditional surrogacy, but no agency will touch it. Do it at your peril.

False claims of homophobia aside, the couple were a pair of idiots. This is precisely why you don't do this sort of informal arrangement. They wanted to save money and it blew up in their faces.

This is the real life “Handmaid’s Tale” 😬

She is the child’s MOTHER
I abhor surrogacy and especially men buying children.

One of the ‘arguments’ they put forward in court was that the child was being raised in an ‘LGBTQ environment’ (I’m paraphrasing) so seeing his mother would confuse him

Did it not occur to them that the child was going to learn at some point that every single person on this planet comes from a woman, their mother? Would it not be confusing for the child to grow up believing the lie that a person can be 'motherless' but then later finding out that that's impossible?

'The men had difficulties “accepting the reality” of the child’s conception, the psychologist found, and considering what sense the boy might make of the situation as he grew up'.

Happy to use a woman's body to get what they wanted, but struggled with accepting the reality as soon as she was of no use to them anymore

Glad they lost, their attitude is hideous.

The poor child must be so confused.

Why would a woman who was not even their friend agree to this!?

There's already significant push for the law to be amended to lessen the rights of the women:

https://stopsurrogacynowuk.org/

This is what happens when surrogacy laws are laxer (spoiler alert, it doesn't benefit the women or children):
https://www.legalizesurrogacywhynot.com/stories edited to add link

The existing law has been upheld, as it should be.

And with no problem being as downright misogynistic as those two men are.