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Original poster

There's nothing I can do about this, is there?

356 replies

Acunningruse · 11/04/2024 18:57

Visited a different city today for work and went to a branch of Caffè Nero. I was served by what was very clearly a man, despite his attempt to look female and the fact he was wearing a she/her badge. Said man was wearing extremely tight leggings which, as he was wearing a waist-length t-shirt, meant his manhood was obviously visible. His appearance was a source of mumbling/muttering in the queue and he seemed to be enjoying the attention with a lot of hair-flicking.

I m not able to articulate why this made me so uncomfortable- other than the fact that no way in hell would I want to share a bathroom or changing room with this person.

But there's nothing at all to be done, is there? As any objection would surely be met with accusations of "discrimination " and "be kind".

Just so so frustrating. I just wanted to scream "you are not a woman!!!!" But I can't, can I.

OP posts:
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W0rkerBee · 04/05/2024 19:55

AtrociousCircumstance · 11/04/2024 19:01

Gross. No one needs to see your cock and balls mate, while you’re doing your job serving fucking coffees.

You can write to the cafe and say you don’t want to see someone exposing themselves. Nothing to do with trans. You shouldn’t have to be confronted by an exhibitionist.

Make a complaint.

I think that's the right way to go about it. Oy, mister, cock and balls are exposed, breaking criminal law there sir, (sexual offences act 2017)

KellieJaysLapdog · 04/05/2024 19:52

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:51

Personally I would just not look very long

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Personally, I would like not to see it at all.

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:51

KellieJaysLapdog · 04/05/2024 19:50

It’s a cock and balls, mate.

No one should have to look at a cock and balls non-consensually. It’s why blokes trousers have been made from heavy weight fabrics since the dawn of commercial fashion.

edited to add: a cafe isn’t an over 18s venue, so no, not everyone who sees this staff member’s member is an adult.

Edited
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Personally I would just not look very long

KellieJaysLapdog · 04/05/2024 19:50

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:42

I've had people be rude about the fact that I can't wear a bra. We are adults. Are we not used to human bodies yet?

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It’s a cock and balls, mate.

No one should have to look at a cock and balls non-consensually. It’s why blokes trousers have been made from heavy weight fabrics since the dawn of commercial fashion.

edited to add: a cafe isn’t an over 18s venue, so no, not everyone who sees this staff member’s member is an adult.

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:44

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/05/2024 19:43

I've had people be rude about the fact that I can't wear a bra. We are adults. Are we not used to human bodies yet?

👍

?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/05/2024 19:43

I've had people be rude about the fact that I can't wear a bra. We are adults. Are we not used to human bodies yet?

👍

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:42

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/05/2024 19:36

The person who is complaining about a man wearing inappropriate clothing showing outlined genitalia in a setting where children could be and where it is inappropriate to wear such clothing (a coffee shop), is rude.

But not the man wearing inappropriate boundary pushing clothing where he shouldn't be. That's not rude.

Yeah we see you mate. Just like the other thread.

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I've had people be rude about the fact that I can't wear a bra. We are adults. Are we not used to human bodies yet?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/05/2024 19:36

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:27

Yeah, that would be really rude of you. You can't go around telling people that the way they look makes you feel angry.

The person who is complaining about a man wearing inappropriate clothing showing outlined genitalia in a setting where children could be and where it is inappropriate to wear such clothing (a coffee shop), is rude.

But not the man wearing inappropriate boundary pushing clothing where he shouldn't be. That's not rude.

Yeah we see you mate. Just like the other thread.

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:32

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/05/2024 19:28

Not read the whole thread no?

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It's 11 pages long. I'm responding to the original post.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/05/2024 19:28

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:27

Yeah, that would be really rude of you. You can't go around telling people that the way they look makes you feel angry.

Not read the whole thread no?

joannanewsomm · 04/05/2024 19:27

Yeah, that would be really rude of you. You can't go around telling people that the way they look makes you feel angry.

FlexIt · 04/05/2024 19:10

I think I would have been more explicit in the email, the genitalia on display is clearly cock & balls / penis & testicles

agent765 · 04/05/2024 17:54

Will this man be working this weekend when there are more children calling there?

Some people would say it goes over their heads but IME kids often pick up on something different and won't hesitate to call it out. My DD and DGD have said out loud what many adults would be too polite to quite a few times. They've also picked up an uncomfortable atmosphere among adults. Kids can be embarrassing at times 😁

I wonder if a child commenting on this man's display would be deemed transphobic? Probably.

Caffe Nero will be losing my custom if the OP's complaints aren't taken seriously. At least Starbucks did something about their problem employee, but that was all over SM so I suppose they had to.

If the area manager is a bust, OP, I'd be posting a photo (with his face blurred) on SM. It would be interesting to see how seriously the higher-ups take it then.

KellieJaysLapdog · 04/05/2024 14:08

Weekend mods are often more delete-happy than the main Mon-Friday office hours crew. If you want to challenge a deletion it’s probably worth waiting til Monday.

ManchesterBeatrice · 04/05/2024 13:58

Love that OP! How can it not be violation of uniform to have genitals early on display!!

Abeona · 04/05/2024 13:56

FlexIt · 04/05/2024 12:47

@Abeona it looks to have been deleted?

Damn: too late. I was waiting for the okay. What on earth in that post could have been deemed unacceptable? The Sound of Sirens, I am really fucking furious about this. I got deleted three times the other day for saying things that others were saying. Complaint going in to MNHQ.

Dineasair · 04/05/2024 13:54

FlexIt · 04/05/2024 12:47

@Abeona it looks to have been deleted?

I have to wonder just how impartial MN is? Would you be able to post the gist of it again rephrased please? I missed it. Would that be allowed under the rules?

Dineasair · 04/05/2024 13:50

DrTWETMIRF · 04/05/2024 09:23

They do which is why the fetishists have campaigned to make it transphobic to suggest that being trans means someone has a problem with any part of their body. Much harder to get off making women uncomfortable if you have to hide your penis.

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This! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Dineasair · 04/05/2024 13:49

mach2 · 04/05/2024 08:37

I thought people with sex dysphoria tried to hide their sex characteristics, not put them on display?

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

FlexIt · 04/05/2024 12:47

@Abeona it looks to have been deleted?

Abeona · 04/05/2024 11:38

Fab post, Sound of Sirens. Would you mind if I copied and pasted parts of it to use in communication with my MP and various other policical representatives? You are very clear on the way that transgender ideology has been leapt on by fetishists and I really want to have that to hand to copy and paste the next time an opportunity arises to draw attention to this.

TheKeatingFive · 04/05/2024 10:54

I haven't read the full thread, but to make one point.

This man 'identifies' as a woman and wants us to call him by female pronouns. Yet at the same time is making the existence of his penis clear for everyone to see.

How is this anything other than bringing his fetish to work? And why in the name of all that's holy, should society be accepting of it?

DrTWETMIRF · 04/05/2024 09:23

mach2 · 04/05/2024 08:37

I thought people with sex dysphoria tried to hide their sex characteristics, not put them on display?

They do which is why the fetishists have campaigned to make it transphobic to suggest that being trans means someone has a problem with any part of their body. Much harder to get off making women uncomfortable if you have to hide your penis.

valensiwalensi · 04/05/2024 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I know my views and many on this board do not align but I absolutely agree with you here.

mach2 · 04/05/2024 08:37

I thought people with sex dysphoria tried to hide their sex characteristics, not put them on display?

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