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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
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Redberryhot · 29/10/2025 08:55

MattDamon · 29/03/2024 17:22

An entire article dedicated to minimising violence against women. Only in The Guardian.

That was my thought.

RingoJuice · 29/10/2025 08:21

And of course it still happens and in this case escalated. This guy punched a teen girl in the face, was released and then started to beat two women with a pipe.

www.foxnews.com/us/blue-city-repeat-offender-accused-metal-pipe-rampage-just-days-after-release

TheNightingalesStarling · 29/10/2025 08:17

Mental illness is a reason, not an excuse. They may need help not punishment but how can they get help if the issue isn't known? Next time the punch might kill someone.

RingoJuice · 29/10/2025 08:14

Solrock · 29/03/2024 21:48

At first, Harvard did not feel it necessary to report her assault to the NYPD, thinking it was an isolated event. “I thought it was probably someone who’s mentally unwell, and I really don’t trust the police department that much,” she said. “It was violent, and I’m traumatized by it, but knowing the history of the NYPD and their use of excessive and deadly force, I didn’t want anyone to be lost over this.

This is part of the sad reality of modern America where educated people are so used to seeing everything in victimhood, that they tend to regard perpetrators of crime as having more right to victim status than the people who are the actual victims of crime. Is your attacker black, or seemingly a migrant, or behaving as if they are mentally ill? Well, it's unfair to have them arrested, no matter what they have done, and it's better, instead, to wring your hands over how terrible society is for making these people behave this way.

Stora does not match the description of Harvard’s attacker, but she believes she has a photo of the man who did punch her, based on a picture someone sent to her on Instagram. “It’s interesting to me how young women are better at being detectives than the actual police,” she said.

And this! So, you don't report the matter to the police immediately, making it more difficult for them to investigate, whilst at the same time contemptuously believing that, as a middle-class person, you can do a better job at investigating than the working-class police officers. And you base your investigation on a photograph someone sent you, which might look a bit like your attacker, seemingly unaware that these dubious identifications were historically the source of many miscarriages of justice against Africa Americans.

At least we can start to admit who is doing these violent attacks against women in NYC. Now you have to remember that in America the conversation is a little different than in the UK. African American men are by far the most violent group (and this isn’t my opinion, this is based on actual statistics) and female victims think they need to protect these guys? It’s classic DARVO

Why is it they feel like they are unable to report a black man to the police? They are doing nobody any favors by hiding these details, these men will go on to assault other women and they feel no responsibility?? We just have to quietly cross the street because of things we are not allowed to say.

I realize this goes somewhat differently in Europe because it’s a newly arrived group, but I recognize the same dynamics.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 29/10/2025 07:53

Yes, and even if you’re willing to let it go because you weren’t badly hurt, what if they use a knife next? That horrific scene on the Charlotte metro train comes to mind.

Rightsraptor · 29/10/2025 04:10

If someone who attacks you has MH problems that is not your concern. You do not have to be 'nice' to them by not reporting it. It sickens me that women are supposed to put up with all kinds of shit under the guise of being 'kind' or 'nice'.

ApplebyArrows · 28/10/2025 14:39

People whose mental health issues lead them to physically attack other people at random* need reporting to the police who can decide whether to lock them up or section them as appropriate.

Ignoring them does nothing for their mental health or anyone else's. I have significant mental health issues myself that can be ascribed to incidents of this nature.

(* - I suspect these people are very rarely so crazy as to go around attacking people who are likely to fight back and win, so it's not generally truly random.)

BeWisePlumShark · 28/10/2025 14:12

Just wondering why MadelineMardigan revived it in the middle of the night and then immediately got deleted?

Deleted for being perceived as racism I think as she was commenting on ethnicity. Not sure it was. I didn't realise she'd revived it I hadn't noticed the dates.

It's possible that both me and my therapist were targeted as neither of us are of black ethnicity and we were in areas of largely black population.

It does seem a bit coincidental. Thankfully I don't usually visit this area, I had a hospital appointment.

BeWisePlumShark · 28/10/2025 13:40

Thanks. I don't know why the thread was revived I didn't realise it but it was a good time for me.

I wasn't convinced he was mentally unwell. Sometimes that is.something people suggest to understand behaviour they don't understand as it isn't something they would choose to do.

But yes that's irrelevant he shouldn't be allowed to hit anyone. Theres a load of options for the police / court system if needed like compulsory treatment programs. It's no reason not to take someone's photo and report it.

I am pretty assertive so I did point out to my (NHS) therapist that it was not a helpful disclosure. My view of her took a downturn honestly. I kinda said we'll do you not think the person who hit you will likely keep doing this?

I think what was hardest was the way the stranger interacted to support the man who hit me in the scenario. There is a sort of weird naivety. I don't know if there's a better word for that?

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 28/10/2025 09:06

Greyskybluesky · 28/10/2025 09:04

This is an old thread (I'm not saying we shouldn't discuss it)

Just wondering why MadelineMardigan revived it in the middle of the night and then immediately got deleted?

Whoever they are they revived a whole handful of threads and then got promptly deleted on all of them, so I think we can safely ignore…

Greyskybluesky · 28/10/2025 09:04

This is an old thread (I'm not saying we shouldn't discuss it)

Just wondering why MadelineMardigan revived it in the middle of the night and then immediately got deleted?

MarieDeGournay · 28/10/2025 09:00

That was a terrible experience BeWisePlumShark, I'm sorry you went through it and hope you got support - your therapist shared your experience but her 'he was going through something' probably wasn't what you needed to hear from her.
I hope somebody concentrated completely on supporting you through what you experienced, unprovoked.
If your attacker was indeed 'going through something', I hope he too got support to not do it to any other woman, but that shouldn't take the focus away from you.

'The moral of the story' is you and your right to safety and wellbeing and support and healing, BeWisePlumSharkFlowers

merkinmanipulator · 28/10/2025 07:12

London is full of aggressive, dangerous, mentally ill men, whether that's 'organic' mental illness or as a result of drugs or alcohol. I don't really care either way - I'm sick of having to be constantly aware on public transport when some man comes near me and is muttering to himself, glaring at me, waving a lighter/bottle/whatever around.

Lurkingandlearning · 28/10/2025 06:13

NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/03/2024 20:16

Why does it have to be linked immediately to drug and mental health issues, rather than violent men?

Because violent men usually attack women where and when others won’t see them doing it.

Pugslug · 28/10/2025 06:07

RebelliousCow · 30/03/2024 10:58

This brings to mind the image of Shani Louk being abducted by Hamas terrorists, half naked and seemingly unconscious in the back of a truck - surrounded by men with heavy armoury and one with his leg placed territorially over her lifeless body. This photo has just won a journalism award for photograph of the year.

According to many - this act of sheer brutality was the consequence of Israel's inherent evilness - and so can be contextualised away. The victim had it coming to them and Hamas bear no responiosibility for their actions. They are the real victims.

Edited

Why the hall did that photo win an award ..that is sick

BeWisePlumShark · 28/10/2025 05:10

Wow okay. I was randomly hard punched in London on a busy high street at midday. Not on the face but over an existing injury that I must have been holding.

To make matters worse, I got my mobile out was about to take a photo of him and another guy intervened and told me had "mental health issues".

I assumed he knew him, but it turned out nope he'd just seen him about and assumed so. He wasn't acting oddly at all at the time.

I did report it to the Met but it was a bad idea and they were quite condescending.

I already had mental health problems and it didn't help. I was trying to get out and about more. Also original injury didn't heal right.

My therapist "disclosed" she had also been randomly punched in a different part of London and didn't report it because maybe they were "going through something". Hmmmm.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is except to say, yeah this sort of thing happens here too and there are some people who condone it.

MadelineMardigan · 28/10/2025 02:53

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

guinnessguzzler · 31/03/2024 10:17

Totally agree @MrsTerryPratchett and its also about protection. For example with a child we might be able to understand why they are lashing out at their sibling but it doesn't mean we simply allow them to continue. I think it's an old cliche that women hurt themselves where men hurt others but it does seem to ring true to an extent. Doesn't mean we should just let them though.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 31/03/2024 10:07

It was awful to see. I actually can understand why some women want to remain in the safe, cozy warmth of the 'right' side. At least they have a team. Feminism does involve hard truths. It's easier to live inside the denial.

This.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/03/2024 03:15

PorcelinaV · 30/03/2024 12:02

If ever I came to the conclusion, "people aren't responsible for their bad behaviour", I would still probably think, "we have to pretend otherwise and insist on individual responsibility or it's just going to be chaos".

I suspect a lot of this stuff is people with socialist leanings that want to say, "the REAL problem is not having enough socialism".

I'm a huge proponent of social programs, MH care, drug treatment and so on. All over the boards. Constantly.

But I'm of the opinion that there are reasons, not excuses. We should try very hard to reduce the reasons, as much as we can, all the time. But those aren't excuses. People need consequences. We're just complicated apes and reciprocal altruism is the foundation of our psyches. The important word being reciprocal. There's a social contract and we can't let either side off its duty.

Women manage to be fucked up and not punch people in the face. Men can too. They do it because they can, and they've been socialised to think they should, not because they're fucked up.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/03/2024 03:08

Ereshkigalangcleg · 30/03/2024 09:36

What a strange article, it seeks to try and blame everything other than the person going round randomly attacking women in the street.

It reminds me of their Cologne NYE 2015 coverage, over which I stopped reading them regularly.

It was a 'scales falling from the eyes' moment for me.

I heard on here that something had happened. Went to the 'good' media; the BBC, The Guardian, The Independent. The honest, moral reporting of my youth. I had cut-out articles on the wall of my childhood bedroom. Nothing, nada, zilch. I found something in Breitbart. I assumed something was amiss, that there was more to this, that it was just racism, anti-immigration, anti-Muslim, whipping up hatred.

Then days later it all turned out to be true. This is the issue with the ad hominem, I suppose 'ad medium' actually (excuse the pig Latin), attacks on the truth. If you see it in the Daily Mail or Breitbart it must be wrong and if it's in The Guardian it must be right. Thank goodness for the critical thinking professors I met in my 20s. Otherwise I wouldn't have seen it. Hatred for women writ large. Throwing us under the bus to save the 'real' people. Men.

It was awful to see. I actually can understand why some women want to remain in the safe, cozy warmth of the 'right' side. At least they have a team. Feminism does involve hard truths. It's easier to live inside the denial.

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 31/03/2024 00:54

Dumbledoreslemonsherbets · 30/03/2024 16:04

I've got to be honest, the idea that because black women are treated by the media as not worthy of discussion we should extend that to white women so that there is equality in the media in that ALL women are treated as inconsequential if they die and not fully human is not the way I really want this to go.

I want there to be more reporting of crimes against black women so that the coverage is equal to that afforded to white women please. Even if it means less time given to Taylor Swift's latest romance or the royal family, or some z list celebrity losing weight.

I'd like the media to be held to account for racism when they don't report these crimes with real world consequences such as massive fines.

Edited

I entirely agree. It's absolutely obscene that some people's preferred solution is to reduce the coverage given to white women. Gabby Petito's disappearance got exactly the amount of coverage it should have done, thus meaning the man who killed her didn't get away with it. What we need to see is an increase in the coverage given to suspicious disappearances of women of all ethnicities. When someone abducts a black woman, there should be wall to wall coverage of that woman's face until she's found, too.

I can think of more than one case where a woman's disappearance was reported widely in the media, leading to her killer's capture, which then led to the solving of other cases of missing women who it turned out he'd killed years before.

We know predators currently pick on vulnerable women without secure social networks, who can be abducted without anyone immediately reporting them missing. They carry on doing that, until they get caught. Honestly, I'm appalled that people honestly think the solution to this is media policies that would widen the pool of women whose abductions won't be investigated. Sure, let's help out wannabe serial killers!

Dumbledoreslemonsherbets · 30/03/2024 16:08

Anyway, anyone expecting anything other than rank misogyny from the Guardian is living in cloud cuckoo land. Several women have been forced out of working there because of the toxic misogynistic environment.

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