Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

An Oklahoma Judge Just Transferred a Lesbian Mom’s Parental Rights to Her Son’s Sperm Donor

58 replies

IwantToRetire · 16/02/2023 17:54

Kris Williams is a lesbian, and that means she won’t be seeing her son anytime soon. That is the official ruling of an Oklahoma court. On Monday, Oklahoma County District Judge Lynne McGuire ruled that Williams had failed to adopt her son and had forfeited her parenting rights to his sperm donor.

Advocates say Williams’ case may test the bounds of equal marriage laws in Oklahoma and beyond. According to Williams, she and her ex-partner Rebekah Wilson planned to have their son and found sperm donor Harlan Vaughn on a paternity website together. The two married while Wilson was pregnant.

www.them.us/story/oklahoma-judge-parental-rights-lgbtq-same-sex-marriage

OP posts:
WednesdaysPlaits · 16/02/2023 18:36

I think this is a complex situation where the biological mother and the biological father are now married. The person who carried and gave birth to the child happens to be in a lesbian relationship but that’s probably neither here nor there. She could be in a heterosexual relationship, the point is she is not the biological mother.

The biological mother is always likely to have greater rights than the person who carried the child when the two split up.

DrDinosaur · 16/02/2023 18:34

There is a clear difference between removing a same sex partner from a birth certificate and removing the putative father, who is presumed to have a biological relationship to the child.

Would the mother be able to remove a putative father if he was abusive and she could prove he was not the biological father of the child?

Would everyone’s position have been clearer if the birth certificate had been issued only with the biological mother, and then an adoption certificate issued subsequently?

Theunamedcat · 16/02/2023 18:29

Hasn't this happened before? I swear dejavu

Original poster
IwantToRetire · 16/02/2023 18:25

If there is risk of harm to the child a judge would make a similar decision in a hetero relationship.

Are you saying a birth certificate would be changed, in which cases there must be hundred of examples of this given the level of domestic violence?

Genuine question as I have never heard of a birth certiciate being altered in such circumstances.

OP posts:
iklboo · 16/02/2023 18:22

This is what may have informed the judge's decision:

Wilson has previously allegeded that Williams was abusive toward her and that she is attempting to remove Williams from her son’s life for his safety. During the divorce proceedings, Wilson was granted an emergency victim protective order that barred Williams from contact with her and W. That order was extended in Junene. Williams denies the abuse accusation and says it is irrelevant to the question of parentage.

If there is risk of harm to the child a judge would make a similar decision in a hetero relationship.

ZeldaFighter · 16/02/2023 18:11

This is awful and shocking. I'm straight but I feel so much sympathy for my poor lesbian sisters- they seem to be fighting so much right now 😪

Original poster
IwantToRetire · 16/02/2023 18:06

I've read the story in a number of papers, and it seems quite complicated and wondered whether part of the decision is because (according to one paper) the actual mother is now in a relationship with the sperm donor. If so was the decision about a heterosexual couple being seen as better parents than two lesbains?

But also, given recent press stories about some men who are "professional" sperm donors, will this mean their name will be on multiple birth certificates.

This may not be the best example in terms of creating a precident as it is complicated by the split of the original couple. Would it have happened if they had stayed together but no formal adoption made?

OP posts:
DemiColon · 16/02/2023 17:59

I've wondered whether this kind of thing will become an issue.

The trend in adoption circles, for some time now, has been to acknowledge that biological parentage is actually really important, even in adoption scenarios. Which is why open adoption is so much more common, and children retaining contact with extended family. As well as a significant reduction on things like international adoption.

It seems pretty clear that if you apply that same thinking to gamete donors and surrogacy, you raise a lot of questions about severing contact with a biological parent.