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Original poster

Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

736 replies

Vebrithien · 01/02/2023 12:51

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

OP posts:
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Original poster
Vebrithien · 09/03/2023 23:13

Thank you. You are all very kind (in the nice sense, not the 'BE KIND!" sense).

Student is a 16 yo boy, both taller and wider than I am (which is impressive, I am chunky by nature). He was shouting at me, called me a stupid woman, threatened me, then tried to physically stop me leaving the room.

Also, a colleague was attacked by another male student today. She is apparently a fucking whore. I saw her cowering away from him, as we all came running.

There is such distain for female staff. And this is in a good, well regarded school.

Sorry, just offloading here.

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 09/03/2023 22:12

Sadly 'respect' for a teacher is not usually the reason for abuse, more likely resentment over school discipline, etc. Pretty horrible thing to happen. But the work on getting this school to remove 'gender' and replace it with 'sex equality' is brilliant.

ScrollingLeaves · 09/03/2023 19:55

I am very sorry you have been abused by one of your students. How very upsetting that must be. What a betrayal too 💐💐 💐

You may not realise it, but your spirit of perseverance about the No Outsiders has also been an inspiration for keeping going with the petition.

I wonder if that awful student wants your attention because he/she respects you so much? Not that that is any help.

That is very good news about the sticker. ‘Sex Equality’ cancels the chance of sniggering over ‘sex’ by itself I suppose.

The school has a lot to thank you for given the inspection plus the news over awful PSHE in schools this week: they’ll get points for putting it right (or so one would hope).

SinnerBoy · 09/03/2023 19:47

Oh look! Shiny things!

😃

Original poster
Vebrithien · 09/03/2023 19:46

SinnerBoy · 09/03/2023 19:36

Which is good, as they had Ofsted in the Junior school this week!

Hmm, I wonder if the two things are connected?

Couldn't possibly comment.

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 09/03/2023 19:36

Which is good, as they had Ofsted in the Junior school this week!

Hmm, I wonder if the two things are connected?

Princessglittery · 09/03/2023 19:07

@Vebrithien sorry you have had such a tough time at work.
Flowers

Original poster
Vebrithien · 09/03/2023 18:55

I am sorry to have stepped away from this thread for a few days. It's all been a bit much.

I've also been verbally abused and physically threatened by a student of mine, in school (not related to this), which has also taken up a lot of my emotional energy. Have been living vicariously through the petition thread.

We messaged the school. Apparently, they were waiting for stickers, to change the wording.

I have seen the posters for myself today. The word 'gender' has been covered with a green sticker and the words 'sex equality'.

A friend has also said that their children reported back that the protected characteristic of sex was mentioned in an assembly about the Equality Act and the 5 British values.

Which is good, as they had Ofsted in the Junior school this week! As my DD is in the Infants, I could not fill in the parental survey, however the recent problems were mentioned by friends with older children.

We have a meeting of concerned parents tomorrow morning. To plan our way forward.

OP posts:
HagoftheNorth · 07/03/2023 11:18

Vebrithien I am so annoyed on your behalf. The (individual or group of staff at the) school is so completely out of order - trying to dictate who you talk to about what, threatening you and being completely disingenuous about taking the posters down (in the speed of the response as a minimum)
I hope you have the strength to keep going, and you now have a supportive group of parents who can help you 💐🍫💐

ScrollingLeaves · 07/03/2023 10:44

Vebrithien · Yesterday 17:13
The utter, UTTER shits.

Despite an email from the DepHead last Monday, stating that all 4 posters had been taken down, I've seen one still up today, as I collected DD from school

Typical smile-with-crinkly-eyes, tick box, then ignore and take no action. Passive aggressive.

Do you think you feel you and any of the other mothers who agree could bear to write and ask why, seeing as they said they’d take them down?

nov1ce · 07/03/2023 10:31

Don't lose heart @Vebrithien. They've already conceded the posters and taken them down. I like the charitable suggestion that you assume this was in error. After taking them down they'd have to come back a long way to justify why they are back up.

It does sound like something bigger is at play here, the threats are to try and reclaim control. Could it be an option for every parent issue to be raised as a complaint and force them lol through proper channels that will require formal escalation? Not suggesting it's right or you should stop talking, but I imagine it would backfire if everyone did this with the current dissatisfaction and concerns.

Keep your very reasonable, respectability and factual approach. You're doing an amazing thing here.Flowers

mateysmum · 07/03/2023 10:18

Unbelievable. WhatsApp chat between parents is nothing to do with them. It is not public social media, it is a closed group akin to school gate chat. Are they going to ban that too?
Amazing how the school is making a legitimate challenge by a parent about something quite specific into a full on shit show. They are uncovering their own can of worms. somebody in the SLT at the school is getting this very wrong.

dimorphism · 06/03/2023 18:55

Someone in the senior management at the school is putting political ideology above the best interests of the children.

Yes, email and point out that the poster is still up despite the email.

Can you report direct to Ofsted / the LA if you have a safeguarding concern?

SinnerBoy · 06/03/2023 17:30

Vebrithien · Today 17:13

Despite an email from the DepHead last Monday, stating that all 4 posters had been taken down, I've seen one still up today, as I collected DD from school.

Well, be charitable and assume it's been missed by mistake, then email and point it out.

bellac11 · 06/03/2023 17:18

Well its not really a breach of any rights because its not enforceable, its ridiculous nonsense.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 06/03/2023 17:13

The utter, UTTER shits.

Despite an email from the DepHead last Monday, stating that all 4 posters had been taken down, I've seen one still up today, as I collected DD from school.

OP posts:
Gabcsika · 06/03/2023 17:05

I'm sorry, but how does this not breach the human right of freedom of association.

On what planet can a school dictate how parents organise, and who they speak to and how?

That's totally outrageous.

humanrightshouse.org/we-stand-for/freedom-of-association/

Boiledbeetle · 06/03/2023 16:59

The more they try to shut the parents down the more you start to wonder what is so bad at that school that they want it kept quiet? You only react to parents talking to each other in the way they have if there is something serious lurking under the surface

dimorphism · 06/03/2023 16:43

Blimey. What are they trying to hide?

This isn't just about the posters.

This makes me immediately suspicious there is a serious safeguarding failure they are scared parents have got wind of and are trying to cover up.

This behaviour is NOT in the best interests of children or safeguarding of children.

Plus why on earth do they think they have the right to control adults freedom of speech or assembly. Do they think they're the stasi?

It also underlines how unfit for purpose in safeguarding terms current complaints procedures are. If they're sending out silencing letters like this it's creating an anti-safeguarding climate of fear of raising concerns and the school itself (and possibly board of governors) would clearly have a conflict of interest in any complaints procedure. In this sort of situation there should be a route to complain direct to Ofsted.

In practical terms, switch your chat group to Snapchat 🙂

Grammarnut · 06/03/2023 15:59

Vebrithien · 06/03/2023 13:19

The school has now sent a full school letter, telling us we should not be discussing concerns about the school on WhatsApp.

They really don't want us talking about this, do they!?

They have no power to stop you saying what you like on WhatsApp, or anywhere else, to anyone. You are not employed by them and nor are the other parents. What an absolute cheek.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 06/03/2023 15:43

Have just found out that there was an incident in school last week, where a parent was verbally abused and threated by another parent. Also against the code of conduct.

Nothing has been mentioned by the school.

The parent who was threatened last week as emailed the school, saying that clearly they are more concerned about potential gossip, than actual safeguarding concerns!

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Binglebong · 06/03/2023 15:12

I meant for the trying to stop parents talking to each other.

Binglebong · 06/03/2023 15:07

Does Ofsted have anything to say on this kind of thing?

Kucinghitam · 06/03/2023 14:49

Vebrithien · 06/03/2023 13:19

The school has now sent a full school letter, telling us we should not be discussing concerns about the school on WhatsApp.

They really don't want us talking about this, do they!?

Wow. It's amazing how The Righteous feel so secure in dictating other people's interactions, isn't it?

SinnerBoy · 06/03/2023 14:34

Vebrithien · Today 13:19

The school has now sent a full school letter, telling us we should not be discussing concerns about the school on WhatsApp.

I don't think that they can dictate that to you. What next, no texts and no speaking in person?

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