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Original poster

Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

736 replies

Vebrithien · 01/02/2023 12:51

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

OP posts:
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ValancyRedfern · 21/03/2023 22:53

Great work OP! There have been some good threads on Jigsaw resources here. Do a search for past threads. I started one myself about my complaint re Jigsaw resources which was successfully in getting the worst ones withdrawn.

ScrollingLeaves · 21/03/2023 21:47

Congratulations for your outstanding department, and for the way you have managed to encourage the head to respond positively to your group.

🙌🥳👏🎉

WarriorN · 21/03/2023 20:50

SSAUK have a document that covers most of the main offenders though so many are popping up it's hard to keep up.

There's various pieces of guidance on single sex spaces and loos if helpful? I think it's more the curriculum content though isn't it?

artant · 21/03/2023 20:16

@Vebrithien sounds like an excellent day! Congratulations on making it through Ofsted and emerging as an outstanding department. Hope the report says all the right things about things like keeping the toilets single sex. For all its many, many failings, Ofsted can be useful when it comes to safeguarding matters.

dunBle · 21/03/2023 20:05

@Vebrithien Oh that's fabulous, as is your OFSTED news. A very good day indeed.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 21/03/2023 19:47

@WarriorN

Which fact sheets would you recommend?

I know they use Jigsaw resources, so can copy over the SSA info on them.

Was going to print out the DforE RSE guidance too, flawed though it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vebrithien · 21/03/2023 19:45

😇

It's been a good day.

My school was Ofsted-ed today, my department is outstanding! So we're over the moon with that. Interestingly, tomorrow will look into the school safeguarding policies, including our choice to not convert our toilets to mixed sex.

And the message from DD's school seemed very polite and open to discussion. And was from the Head, rather than the DepHead.

OP posts:
WarriorN · 21/03/2023 19:09

Wow that's amazing! Very well done OP. Keep us updated. I'm sure you have but share all the factsheets and info on SSAUK with your team prior to lookoknb through the content.

I would suggest that you look at suggested literacy texts in school too - there's a big push on reading and many teachers are teaching more inappropriate books thinking they're being inclusive and kind. Many may not be listed by the school - teachers can just choose what they want to read.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 21/03/2023 19:02

That's really good news - well done OP. All this because you persisted.

Datun · 21/03/2023 18:54

Blimey, I'd say that was a result.

bignosebignose · 21/03/2023 18:52

That's great, will be interested to hear what you see on the visit.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 21/03/2023 18:17

We've all been invited into the school, to look at their RSE policy, overview, resources, books, how the content it taught, and to discuss suggestions about how it is taught moving forward.

Annoyingly, they have suggested a day that I work, but it looks like we will suggest that they day is changed, so that most of us can make it.

So, lovely to not be met with dismissal straight away.

OP posts:
sashh · 19/03/2023 03:32

Bloody hell that Coventry school need to do better, and they are breaching the law.

OP

I've turned some of the 'be kind' Stonewall trained with:

We know abusers will abuse, they will train as teachers or priests or even marry and have children to abuse children.

This is why schools these days have lots of windows into class rooms, offices that you can see in to.

Most teachers are not abusers but we have to be treated as potential abusers for the safety of the children and ourselves.

Eg I'm disabled, most schools have lifts, I can use the lift alone, I can use the lift with a group of students, I can use the lift with other staff members, I cannot use the lift with one student.

Even though the lift has CCTV.

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 17/03/2023 18:36

Of course it's mainly been reported in 'bad' media, so the local paper may be the best source. www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/coventry-schoolgirl-taken-hospital-after-26418069

And while I was looking for that, I also found this more general piece in the Independent. www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/unisex-toilets-period-shaming-sexual-harassment-schools-girls-womens-voices-wales-a8784226.html

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 17/03/2023 18:33

As your focus for the conversation is schools and your daughter's safety, the school toilet assault reported this week might be a good way in.

SinnerBoy · 17/03/2023 15:08

Vebrithien · Today 14:55

And is a Guardian reader.

I still read it, but don't but it nowadays. It doesn't mean I've had my brains extracted.

I began as "Aah, poor things, how hard must it be to live with that, thinking you were born in the wrong body. I won't make life any harder for them, even though I know that they're not actual women."

to

"Rachel McKinnon? You what? Eh - Terfisaslur? Karen White? Who the fuck are these lunatics? Why are people agreeing to this insane ideology?"

That happened fairly rapidly.

bignosebignose · 17/03/2023 15:03

Barbie Kardashian's all over Twitter again today, maybe that could peak your fella.

Good work on carrying on with this and getting other parents involved.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 17/03/2023 14:55

Trouble is, he's still at the 'be kind' stage, and works with a transwoman who has recently transitioned (within the last year).

And is a Guardian reader.

It's finding a way to get my concerns across, without him instantly thinking I'm a bigot on a rant.

It's been the elephant in the room for about a year now.

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 17/03/2023 14:39

At some point, I am going to need to sit DH down, and properly tell him my concerns. Currently, he rolls his eyes when he hears me talking about anything feministy.

I sincerely hope that you can make him understand your point. It's not difficult to comprehend.

But, I think I need to go down the route of safeguarding our DD. She is the one who this will impact most.

Yes and if you can get your husband to appreciate that she's in potential danger, your battle will be won.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 17/03/2023 14:24

Well, we've sent the message!

It came from 7 parents, and was sent to the Head, and cc'd in the DepHead, the head of KS1 and the RSE lead teacher.

It was agreed that it wouldn't come from me, although I am a signatory, but was better if it showed that there were other parents who were concerned and interested.

Feel both elated and sick.

At some point, I am going to need to sit DH down, and properly tell him my concerns. Currently, he rolls his eyes when he hears me talking about anything feministy.

But, I think I need to go down the route of safeguarding our DD. She is the one who this will impact most.

OP posts:
amaretti1999 · 14/03/2023 16:58

Thank you @Vebrithien 😊

Original poster
Vebrithien · 14/03/2023 15:46

amaretti1999 · 14/03/2023 14:33

Without going into detail I just wanted to say thanks for this thread - the info in it and some of the wording helped me do a small brave thing at my workplace and live to tell the tale!

Well done @amaretti1999 !!!

A brave action is just that, no matter of the size.

These small steps are the drip dripping of water, wearing down the dam. Eventually, enough will be worn away to start a flood.

I could not have done this without the wonderful support of the posters here.

Courage calls to courage!

OP posts:
amaretti1999 · 14/03/2023 14:33

Without going into detail I just wanted to say thanks for this thread - the info in it and some of the wording helped me do a small brave thing at my workplace and live to tell the tale!

Original poster
Vebrithien · 13/03/2023 21:17

Thanks, it was a team effort. We agreed the main points, someone took notes, a third person write the draft, and we made a few suggestions.

Glad you think it sounds okay.

This is all new territory, but at least I'm not walking in alone again!

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 13/03/2023 19:51

Well done, that letter is clear but polite.

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