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Original poster

Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

736 replies

Vebrithien · 01/02/2023 12:51

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

OP posts:
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ScrollingLeaves · 30/03/2023 19:44

That year 7 will be lucky to get you. I’d be so relieved if I were one of their parents!

Original poster
Vebrithien · 30/03/2023 13:21

Well now, in a curious turn of events, I've just been asked to cover a colleague next term, teaching human reproduction to another year 7 class!

(Colleague is heavily pregnant, it's all a bit too awkward for her).

Will be interesting to see what misconceptions this class already has...

OP posts:
Original poster
Vebrithien · 25/03/2023 12:57

Thank you, you are all very kind.

OP posts:
ScrollingLeaves · 25/03/2023 10:30

I cannot say how much I admire you. Even with help from other’s input, it was your calm, studied, logical, measured, and indefatigable approach that made all the difference.

You have a young child as well as being a secondary school teacher - it is not as though you didn’t already have enough on your plate!

Then you had that first snippy and obfuscating response of the deputy head to deal with, followed by some very bullying threats when you spoke to other parents about facts they have every right to know.

All the whole assembling coherent arguments to present to the school and the parent’s group.

Your courage and resilience has been remarkable.

TalliskerMcSpeculate · 25/03/2023 09:23

Well done! Yes you sought advice on here but it was you in person who actually did it. That took guts and persistence which you appear to have in abundance ☺️

SinnerBoy · 25/03/2023 01:41

I think that you've done a wonderful job, Veb. Don't do yourself down, you made all this happen, you asked for advice and support - we all do well with support.

But make no mistake, you have been the focal point and without you, nothing would have changed.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 24/03/2023 20:29

Right.

There is a🍷with my name on it.

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Original poster
Vebrithien · 24/03/2023 18:57

I cannot accept all the praise for this.

Without all of you, I would not seen the other side of the argument.

I would not have found the resources I needed.

Without all of you, your clear common sense, your rational discussions and your support, I would not have found the courage to do this.

Even KJK, and her Trowbridge appearance gave me the confidence to set this argument into the wilds of the year group WhatsApp group.

And the support of the lovely mums (and a couple of dads) who have listened to what I had to say, asked their questions, and then supported my concerns and contacted the school.

We really are stronger together.

Thank you.

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Princessglittery · 24/03/2023 16:35

@Vebrithien 👏you have made such a difference by being willing to stand up and be counted. You made sure your communications with the school were appropriate, with evidence based facts and information. You were persistent, but not pushy or rude, and managed to bring together a group of like minded parents to ensure all the children in that school receive appropriate and corrected teaching and messages.

WarriorN · 24/03/2023 16:21

And, if there is anything controversial being taught, parents will be able to see it. They have to be transparent.

This is key

WarriorN · 24/03/2023 16:21

Oh that is a fantastic result!! Well done you and actually, well done the school for listening to your concerns and making changes! I'm so pleased for you!

This is a response that more schools really should be doing. I wasn't allowed to look at the NO plans they were using but concluded from the books they shared they weren't covering trans things.

Have you seen that woman's hour would like parents to share thoughts and experiences of RSE teaching for their programme on Monday?

Email woman's hour [email protected]

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/3xyZd5NjJZmN7WztP96vCG/contact-us

Can be anon, may speak to you or read out. Would be good to add your experiences and the key issues around gender rather than sex, and that schools aren't vetting outside providers or assuming that very well known organisations are well run and regulated.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 24/03/2023 16:14

I am sure that there will be things that I don't like, but it does absolutely mean that "no debate" is over.

And, if there is anything controversial being taught, parents will be able to see it. They have to be transparent.

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Datun · 24/03/2023 16:11

*odd one

Datun · 24/03/2023 16:11

They have also had a backlash from parents about how draconian they have been about us not being allowed to discuss our concerns with each other.

yes, that was an old one, difficult to explain that away.

AlisonDonut · 24/03/2023 16:10

Superb work.

DameMaud · 24/03/2023 16:08

Woohoo OP!! Well bloody done you. Shows what can be done with courage and tenacity. All of these individual challenges can add up to a big change. It must feel so good after the rollercoaster!

Original poster
Vebrithien · 24/03/2023 16:07

6 of one and half a dozen of the other!

I suspect they have been living in a "be kind" echo chamber for a while, especially with the male TA coming out as non-binary last year, and changing their title to Mx.

I suspect the DepHead is a bit more militant, and that she has been allowed to dictate what resources have been used.

I've stirred the hornet's nest, and made them talk about it. My pointing out of the law, swiftly followed by Ofsted visiting them, and then more parents starting to ask about what is being taught, made it more than just me disagreeing with the DepHead.

They have also had a backlash from parents about how draconian they have been about us not being allowed to discuss our concerns with each other.

The enquiry from our GC group, plus the report from Miriam Cates, have then compounded matters.

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Datun · 24/03/2023 15:57

Oh, and brilliant, OP. Absolutely brilliant stuff. You've turned it around.

Datun · 24/03/2023 15:57

Vebrithien · 24/03/2023 15:51

Well, well well!

I've just had a MOST interesting conversation with the DepHead.

She found me in the playground, and asked if I had seen the amendment to the posters she had made, saying that she had changed the wording from gender to sex equality.

And there is going to be a full school parental consultation on the RSE resources and curriculum used.

😱

The email has just arrived!

All parents and carers are invited to view and discuss all resources used (date is in early May).

The DepHead was most conciliatory, asking how I was, and saying that the school have put in a lot of work with their RSE resource what have they had to change??

It's the most polite she has been to be this year. And the assistant Head who phoned and emailed, spoke very politely to me yesterday, when I happened to see him, asking if I have been well, and how my work in my school is going.

Dare I hope that things might be changing?

Do you think it's because they finally see things clearly and are grateful to you for pointing it out?

Or are they just shit scared.

To be honest, they could easily be both simultaneously.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 24/03/2023 15:51

Well, well well!

I've just had a MOST interesting conversation with the DepHead.

She found me in the playground, and asked if I had seen the amendment to the posters she had made, saying that she had changed the wording from gender to sex equality.

And there is going to be a full school parental consultation on the RSE resources and curriculum used.

😱

The email has just arrived!

All parents and carers are invited to view and discuss all resources used (date is in early May).

The DepHead was most conciliatory, asking how I was, and saying that the school have put in a lot of work with their RSE resource what have they had to change??

It's the most polite she has been to be this year. And the assistant Head who phoned and emailed, spoke very politely to me yesterday, when I happened to see him, asking if I have been well, and how my work in my school is going.

Dare I hope that things might be changing?

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ScrollingLeaves · 22/03/2023 07:37

Not Vebrithuen, Vebrithien - apologies.

Original poster
Vebrithien · 22/03/2023 07:36

Okies, that's a fab call, thank you.

With the support of the group (sounds a bit possessive, maybe I'll carry on calling them the coven), I'm going to compile a folder of important info/guidelines/facts and their references.

Everything will be forwarded to the group, and I'll also take a physical copy with me to the meeting, assuming it can be arranged. Everyone so far has said that they want to go on my day off, so that I can be there😂

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ScrollingLeaves · 22/03/2023 07:29

Vebrithuen I was not sure if someone has mentioned the very useful transgender statistics resource site posted on a FWR thread called Stats for Gender - resource site by ArabellaScott

It could be useful for people in your group. It arms you with facts against trans activist tropes such as that not affirming gender dysphoric teens leads to suicide, or that 1.7% of people (same as red hair?) are born with a DSD - not true.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 21/03/2023 23:34

I put this on the "it's in schools " thread and thought you & your group may be interested in this OP. It's a damning analysis of how identity politics / queer theory is removing safeguarding from schools:

www.transgendertrend.com/identity-politics-sex-education-schools/