Seeing 60 seconds of someone else's domestic violence situation made me wonder...

I've "rescued" a lost child a few times. One situation stood out for me. I was walking from church to the church car park after church. Two late-middle-aged women were walking next to me. We got to the car park, and one of the women noticed a 2 year old boy wandering around the car park (where people were starting to get into their cars to drive off). We all knew this boy - he was regularly in church with his family. The woman commented to the other that it wasn't safe and someone should do something. She then proceeded to ignore the boy, as did the other woman. I went and took the boy's hand and led him back to the church, where his parents were frantically looking for him. I've never forgotten how those 2 women noticed the boy, saw that he was in real and imminent danger of being run over, and very deliberately did nothing about it.

Didn't read whole thread... Of course women are capable of violence.

"these weren't injuries a woman could inflict"

really?

It sounds like she got medical attention. There are lots of threads on mumsnet about how women and stepdaughters do or don't get on, but the bottom line is that it is a crime. it sounds as though they are sorting it out within the family.

Interesting issue - this thread started out as it appeared to be male on female violence. When it was found out that it was the step daughter did people's views change on whether it should be reported? I suppse there similar issues - woman tolerates violence from step daughter in order to keep relationship with her husband. Or may be she won't tolerate it and this is the final straw or may be she beat up the step daughter every night for 4 years. We just don't know.

As a basic principle intervene if it's safe to do so. I took a toddler walking alone by a busy road to a police station a few years ago. No one else was doing anything. Later the police called to say his parents had recovered him and he had escaped through a door and walked off on his own. He was too young to be able to tell me his name. I could have been accused of kidnapping I suppose but he could have easily walked into the road and had he been one of my children I would have wanted someone to look after him.

It's not just DV. I was punched unconscious in a club toilets for no reason. Maybe 10 other people in there. Nobody got help or intervened. Could I blame them? What would I have done?
Honestly I think they were all terrified. One girl was blocking the door and the sheer violence of the girl attacking me would have petrified me. I woke up to her kicking me in the head
It's right about ambulance control as well, that's my job we give information to the police if needed

I'm not surprised a young female can do serious damage, the damage you do depends on the level of viciousness you fight with.

How awful for the poor woman to have to live with someone who is that disturbed, the physical strength that the young girl lacks is probably made up for in rage, which could explain why her injuries were so bad (or she's powered by drugs).

As to your last question, I'm not sure what I'd do in that particular situation because we never know what we would do until we are there and being faced with it without warning like you were doesn't really give you time in those few seconds to think about what is the best option.

Somebody upthread said if it was an old person we'd be calling the police and I think thats true. Any person we perceive to be vulnerable whether elderly, disabled or a child in that situation would have the police called, most of us would do it without hesitation because we would want to protect them. When it comes to an adult who seems perfectly capable of taking care of themselves if they choose, we tend to be less likely to intervene if they tell us not to, it could be rude, interfering or cause further problems for them if we failed to respect their wishes or maybe we don't care enough because there is an assumption that they have the power so must have gotten themselves into that situation and want to stay there.

I don't think ignoring it is the right thing to do though because there is still the matter of a violent and potentially dangerous individual that needs to be dealt with by the appropriate authorities.

I think if you witness a crime actually happening and call the police, fair enough. If you ring the police some time after an event which you didn't witness, when the victim has said that s/he doesn't want police involvement, the police won't be able to do anything. Hearsay isn't evidence.

Have you spoken to this woman yourself? If you are concerned about her and want to help her, the first thing to do is surely talk to her and find out what her situation actually is: at the moment you are going on rumour and supposition and kind of wringing your hands over a situation that you don't actually know anything about.

Well, at least the woman got medical treatment. Perhaps she would have been seen by a social worker or somesuch or at least offered assistance to deal with violence in the family, as well.

I don't either SGB....she could have fallen drunk....been in a fight wth herself the way some addicts do....she might have been attacked by her teenage child...her friend...anything!

I think the OP may have assumed this was DV because the woman was a certain type.

I still don't get why the OP is so sure this was a case of domestic violence. She saw a hurt woman, who was then taken into a house by another person, and a third party said that it would be all right. There are various possible explanations including that the woman had been brawling with someone, the woman had been mugged by a random stranger or indeed that the woman had been assaulted by her own partner. The OP doesn't appear to know and the rest of us internet randoms certainly don't.

I didn't say anything about not acting making a person a bad person, but it means they made a bad choice.

Putting this down to human nature is incorrect. It's not in human nature to be cowardly any more than it is to do the right thing. The bottom line is that people make choices whatever their nature, and feminism is about making the right choice to stand up for women and against violent men.

This section here, even if Mumsnet thinks it's all about us having to deal with trolls and anti-feminists whilst they talk "about" feminism, rather than ever being able to talk about how to challenge patriarchy, still provides an education. We're taught to turn away, not to do anything, to blend in with the crowd and then to find reasons why it's OK to do that. If you're a feminist however, or someone who wants to stand up for women, you're not going to do those things - you are going to find yourself out on a limb sometimes because you feel that's the right place to be if it's going to help a woman or to help yourself. It's also about showing that help doesn't need to be a huge thing - maybe just an anonymous call for an ambulance. And this section I reckon will provide support for that.

I really hope it won't provide support for people who need to find justifications for why they didn't help and why they did turn away.

I'm not saying that nobody should ever help anyone, nyac, but that it does not make someone a bad person if they do not, in many situations.

OP I don't understand why you thought it was a DV incident. If I saw someone drunk on the street on the floor with blood on them I would assume they had been in a fight with another drunk person. I think we all have our own experiences in life and mine would tell me a different "story" than yours.

I think that going to talk to the neighbour and saying you were worried and finding some more out is a really good idea.

There is something you can do now though. Go and see the neighbour who was telling you there was no point in calling the police and find out how the woman got hurt, if she's all right, and whether or not the house that the woman was taken in to was her attackers' house, if she was indeed attacked.

It may not be too late to report what you all saw to the police, or at the very least see if it's possible to get some help to this woman.

Whatever happened at the very least the woman needed an ambulance and it doesn't sound like she even got that.

I think people can read situations. Telling someone who was actually there and is describing what they saw and how they interpreted it not to make assumptions isn't all that helpful.

SHOP...my friend was in a shop...not a show.

You just can't assume anything about half a situation...it's like walking into a theatre in the middle of a play and trying to work out who is who and what people's intentions are...almost impossible.

I think you're still upset about it...understandably. My friend was in a show last week and a known local Nazi thug came in and began trying to talk to my friends 2 year rold...he was saying "Say N" to him...over and over and my friend was beside herself and very upset but too afraid of this freak....she did shove him away in the end...but she still regrets it...she couldn't have possibly known this mgith happen but it still haunts her. You will get over it...I have seen some horrd things too and they fade. Could you ask around after the woman and see if she's ok?.

I am not judging by the way....I know how scary it is at times being in charge of a little child. But seeing that there was no scary man or woman shouting or threatning, I thnk you needed to have asked the woman if she was ok. (obv not) but you were influenced by the spar woman....and you just went along with the crowd.

cross-posted with you just now. But what if it had been a child?

I would have stopped actually....I could in no way walk past a bleeding woman who had wet herself and not ask if she needed help. I think thats what you are tormented by Agent and nothing else.