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Original poster

Children playing in the garden

241 replies

Boytwinmum · 28/05/2023 16:34

Hi everyone.
My children, who are young teenagers, love being outside. I encourage it to avoid them being on screens too much.

We've lived in our current house for almost 3 years - this is our third summer here. Recently, my neighbours (I only have neighbours on one side) have taken a huge disliking to them playing in the garden. I spoke to the gentleman and we agreed a mutually acceptable time for them to stop playing was 10pm. I enforce this if they forget, but they are very conscious of the time limit.

Last night (Saturday) they went over by 2 minutes, so got really told off by the neighbour. I could hear the lady screaming at them that they are disrespectful and should be in bed by 10pm. My younger one was mortified and couldn't apologise enough, but she was livid. The screaming attracted my attention to the time, so I also apologised, but she said she was calling the police as we were disturbing their peace. Her and her husband then spent the next 20 minutes shouting at each other.

Well the police turned up today to speak to me, unfortunately we were out, but I saw them on my cameras.

What do I do? I really do dislike falling out with anybody. I understand that we all have different tolerance limits. I want to address it with them, but without making it worse or getting into a neighbour feud. I'm almost tempted to say that when they let their dog out to bark from 6am onwards, or do their glass recycling before 8am at a weekend is outside of my tolerance limits, but I say nothing to keep the peace - but if I say that does it look like tit for tat?

Any advice welcome please.

OP posts:
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MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 31/05/2023 09:25

Morning, @Boytwinmum . We'll close this thread to new posts now. Hope everything turns out ok with the neighbours.

Soubriquet · 30/05/2023 11:18

You can’t. You can only ask @MNHQ to do so

Original poster
Boytwinmum · 30/05/2023 10:45

Update: police came again this morning, it was not a call from the neighbours about my children, as others who were more astute than me figured out. I was in panic mode, so assumed it was for us. I think the neighbours have more going on than this, and we were caught in the crossfire. I'd close the thread if I could, but unsure how. Thanks again all.

OP posts:
Mrsmch123 · 30/05/2023 07:26

I would tell them to piss off tbh. We have neighbours who used to love a game of basketball and always around 10pm. Is it slightly annoying yes but no doubt so is my toddler at 9am shouting rawrrrr and running around the garden. Such is life🤷🏻‍♀️

MayBeeJuneSoon · 29/05/2023 21:58

Poor lads

They sound like good kids op. And you sound like a good mum and neighbour

Vintagejazzing · 29/05/2023 21:53

If the police came out maybe there's more to this than we've been told.

PilatesAndPaddleboards · 29/05/2023 21:48

Gtsr443 · 28/05/2023 16:44

What sort of noise are they making as teenagers?! They're playing?

Our neighbours' young teens sometimes have their mates round to sit by the fire pit and talk crap and giggle and play horrible fucking acoustic guitar.

Thankfully it annoys their parents as much as us so it never lasts too long.
Your neighbours must be very fed up to have called the police.

Aw. Love teenagers. Why are people so bloody intolerant?! What are they supposed to do eh?!

PilatesAndPaddleboards · 29/05/2023 21:47

Crunchymum · 28/05/2023 16:38

Where do you live that the police came out for this on a warm BH weekend?

Ridiculous waste of police time!

Tidsleytiddy · 29/05/2023 16:45

As a PP said the bounce and whack of a ball is pure torture. Tell them to kicks balls etc up the park. No neighbour should have to put up with that

cheddercherry · 29/05/2023 16:11

Christ, if my neighbour was saying he’d knock my son out I’d be calling the police and banging on his door myself!

Your kids sound like totally normal boys who are simply enjoying THEIR garden. It’s not blaring noise or antisocial behaviour and as you’ve said it’s a few nights a week at most SEASONALLY. Sounds like they scream and shout at each other regularly so I’d be telling the neighbour where to stick it, and possibly be taking notes and informing police myself if it seems like a domestic issue going on.

CrackedSkull · 29/05/2023 15:50

Crunchymum · 28/05/2023 16:38

Where do you live that the police came out for this on a warm BH weekend?

I was thinking that . When one of my kids was a victim of an attempted robbery with violence no one came . Your neighbours must have friends in very high places .

chocolatemademefat · 29/05/2023 15:28

If they want to play basketball send them to a park - a constantly bouncing ball is torture. Otherwise ignore the neighbors - they’re being unreasonable.

user1471556818 · 29/05/2023 15:09

Got to be honest was sympathetic and felt 10 pm was fine till the basketball update
If it's going on for hrs at a time I think most people would be wanting not to be listening to it
And yes we had a basketball hoop which we all played on
It is noisey though

WinterInStyle · 29/05/2023 14:58

Bouncing teenage boys playing vigorously in the garden until 10 sounds off putting. At 13 most boys are rather tall and must be making a racket if they're playing in the garden 😆they aren't exactly cherubs at that age?

Crazyducklady · 29/05/2023 14:20

My boys are 15 and 12 and still love playing in the garden. I’ve lived in my house since my eldest was 6 months old and my neighbours on one side are now elderly, having watched them grow up, and we’ve had a variety of neighbours on the other side, but no children.
They’ve heard babies crying, I’ve sworn under my breath as slightly too tipsy boozy summer parties have disturbed my toddlers bed time, they’ve probably cursed harder through the phase my children did nothing but fight and I secretly sighed with relief when their yappy dog died. That’s what happens when you have neighbours.
The boys are allowed out in their own garden providing they are being reasonable. The later the hour, the quieter the activity. Easy peasy.

TMess · 29/05/2023 14:18

WinterInStyle · 29/05/2023 07:52

Are both your boys 13? Where do they sit when they are chatting into the night? Do they have friends who join them or is it just the brothers?

In all honesty regular long noisy ball games in the garden is anti social. It's a garden, not a sports facility.

From 13 on, people don't really play anymore, not in the way children do. Do they never have screen time or play video games? It's very unusual if the don't.

This is really depressing. “Quit getting fresh air, exercise, and bonding with your sibling and go play a video game!”

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 29/05/2023 14:11

Viviennemary · 28/05/2023 17:45

Teenagers are far too old to be 'playing' in the garden. Especially at 10 pm. No wonder your neighbour isnt happy.

Utterly ridiculous comment. If more kids were outside playing sport rather that glued to a screen I guarantee there would be less kids with mental health issues.

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 29/05/2023 14:07

WinterInStyle · 29/05/2023 07:52

Are both your boys 13? Where do they sit when they are chatting into the night? Do they have friends who join them or is it just the brothers?

In all honesty regular long noisy ball games in the garden is anti social. It's a garden, not a sports facility.

From 13 on, people don't really play anymore, not in the way children do. Do they never have screen time or play video games? It's very unusual if the don't.

God how sad

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 29/05/2023 14:03

I would go round and tell them in no uncertain terms that if they carry on with this, you'll report them for harassment. Sure, teach your kids to keep the noise down and show respect but do not let these people dictate what you do. Once you start giving in to this type of person, they will think they're in charge and will complain about every little thing.

Oxfordcommaone · 29/05/2023 13:43

Yes they are allowed to play in the garden of course, but basketball gives me the absolute fucking rage, we compromised, kind of with our neighbour, they moved it further away from our window ( not much). Ask your boys to put the hoop furthest away and to not play so late, trying to concentrate on a movie whilst listening to thud thud thud is torture, and probably why your neighbours flipped. But I would also mention the dog barking and bin thing just so they know it works both ways.

mummymeister · 29/05/2023 13:39

Honestly can people please stop saying that the cut off time for noise is 11pm or whatever other bullshit time they just make up. IT IS NOT.

Here are the actual facts on noise nuisance from someone that studied it for years, has the degree and worked in it for 20 years. A noise can be a Statutory Noise Nuisance at ANY time of the day or night. It is covered under the Environmental Protection Act 1990 sections 79 onwards. There is no set level. There is no set time. There is no set type of noise. There are no set places. There are vast amounts of case law on what constitutes a Statutory Nuisance but basically the original legal definition in case law was given as "one which is a nuisance to the man on the Clapham omnibus" (sic) So you have to take account of time of day, duration, audibility, tonal components, frequency and a whole host of other things. And yes literally any noise could be a statutory noise nuisance including the noise of children shouting and laughing. the reality though is that you have to go through all the other evidence as per my list above to determine if its just an annoyance or a statutory noise nuisance that requires action under the law. the reasons why these bullshit times and levels came about is to try and explain something that is complex with years of case law in a simple way. We used to advise dog owners that if a dog barked continuously for 20 minutes then it could be a statutory noise nuisance but that would depend on all the factors around times etc listed above.

I once prosecuted someone successfully for noise from their garden pond. I have also had to deal with loud sex and served a notice requiring the insulation between the two properties to be improved. So yes, young adults in the garden shouting and playing at 9pm, 10pm whatever in the evening COULD be a statutory noise nuisance. and without access to all the other information on duration, audibility, tonality, frequency, levels at recipient etc no one can say one way or the other.

L1ttledrummergirl · 29/05/2023 13:39

Your neighbours are fuckwits. Keep a log of the times they try to intimidate you (that's what this behaviour is), I suspect you will need it in the future.

You never know, the police might have been checking on you following reports of neighbours behaviour by other neighbours around you.

They sound unhinged.

MinnieGirl · 29/05/2023 13:29

I’m a bit on the fence here….
I love that kids want to be outside playing. But living in a terraced house with a small garden and being at the mercy of footballs from the garden opposite, I do understand your neighbours rage. But you say your gardens are big? So can they play at the end of the garden so they are away from the neighbours? Also 10pm is way too late for balls. People are settled for the evening watching a bit of TV etc, don’t want to hear constant thud thud from balls. 9pm for balls but stay out in the garden talking quietly as late as they like! They could sit out there at midnight provided they are not making noise.
But you say this has been lately? So has something happened to make them change? Are the balls going into their garden? It does sound like there is something else going on, why would they scream and shout at each other for 20 minutes after you had all gone in?
I would contact your local police and arrange a meeting and show them the video of them shouting at your children.
I think being considerate does go a long way, and I suspect that 10pm is too late for them and they are getting upset. Of course, you also need to mention their noise…

NutellaNut · 29/05/2023 13:18

Bouncing basketballs and footballs are really noisy. The sound drives me absolutely mad. I’d be furious if it went on till 10pm. YABU.

CostelloJones · 29/05/2023 13:04

Also agree with PP who said if you apologise it suggests you are admitting you’re wrong

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