I lied about my age when I was 15

Sorry to hear about this. I don't think you were a tramp. I think there was a power imbalance. This kind of thing happened to a lot of my friends in the 90's and I know it still happens. Not by strangers even but by local lads passing a girl around and the girl got labelled a tramp. I don't know what is behind it all, but if you're thinking about it more now and writing on here. maybe you want some help or therapy.

He was a predator. He knew you were under 16 or only just 16. Even if it was technically legal it is still pretty dodgy of him. You were not a tramp.

Also being naive is part and parcel of being 15 not a personal failing.

Oh dear you are not a tramp. You were a kid, in over your head. So many of us tried to act older and lied about our age, not understanding what that meant to the men. I hope you can find peace and eventually let this go.

You were just acting like a teenage girl, and I am glad you were not traumatised by it. He knew you'd be easy to convince into sex so that's why he went for you. Passing you from one to the other was awful, but you didn't do anything awful - you were 15, we're dumb and trusting at that age. You were looking for adventure and wanting to be wanted by a man who seemed cool and out of your league (in your mind). He didn't have to take advantage of that, neither of them did.

You didn't behave like a tramp, just like a daft 15 year old who wanted to please and to be wanted. Please stop beating yourself up about this.

You were not a tramp, you were a 15 year old girl who wanted boys to like her and got targeted by a couple of grown men who know how to zero in on a vulnerable kid! They were not boys, they were old enough to know better and the first didn't even bother to dress up that he was just looking for sex, no date, no nothing, just straight to sex on a bit of wasteland. Lovely. There is plenty of shame in your story and none of it lies with you. These men probably targeted young girls in every town they passed through. You say you are not traumatised but you certainly sound very ashamed. It wouldn't do you harm to talk to somone if you wanted to. But please stop carrying some one else's burden. x

You made a misjudgment like all 15 year-olds do, and it seems like you learned from it. Glad to hear you’re not traumatised from the experience. I talked about this on another thread, I too am not traumatised by my experience of SA and was able to move on thankfully. Everyone should be able to access the right support to help them move on. There’s nothing worse than being weighed down by trauma and victimhood. We only get one life.

And no, of course you weren’t a tramp - your family were just misogynists!

I’m so sorry to read this. You were a child, and it very much sounds to me like you were assaulted. You talk about feeling powerless to stop this, ‘not exactly’ feeling forced and I’d question whether you meaningfully consented to any of this.

Regardless, and despite saying that you don’t feel traumatised, you’re thinking about this every day and still experiencing shame. Kindly, I’d consider therapy to work through your feelings about this.

You were not a tramp, a misogynistic label, and any young woman exploring her sexuality is not at fault - but this is not what you’re describing.

Please be gentle with yourself.

You were not a tramp - no 15 year old girl is a tramp.

Teenagers make stupid decisions, which is why we have laws to protect them from the dirty fkin men who prey on them

OP, please stop carrying the shame and be kind to yourself. So many of us did stupid things as teenagers. You made a stupid decision because you were a child.

You made a silly mistake that put you in a vulnerable position, yes. But you were taken advantage of and then not supported afterwards. You needed compassion and guidance, not people around you calling you a tramp.

You are not and never were a tramp. you do not need to carry the burden of this with you every day.

An awful thing happened to you and I’m so sorry it did. But it wasn’t your fault. If you think
about it a lot, even if you don’t feel traumatised, might it help you to speak with a counsellor?

I’m sorry you were targeted by these sleazy men. And the nerve of your family to call you a tramp- how dare they allow you to go out with older men and then blame you when it turned bad. What on earth were they thinking in letting. 15 year old go off with men in their twenties. If blame needs to be assigned outside of the sleazy men, it’s on them, not you. Not your fault and you are not a tramp.

Most 15yo’s lack judgement. That’s why 15yo’s are not able to sign legal documents. Frankly, this doesn’t suddenly change at 16yo, which is also why 16yo’s can’t sign legal documents or make binding legal agreements, verbal or otherwise, either. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

Even if you could consent, even if you had enjoyed it, that does not make you a bad person. The fact you couldn’t consent or stop what happened and that it’s affected your whole life since then is because you were raped by two men. They knew what they were doing, you did not. It’s not your fault.

Please believe that any reasonable adult would not believe that you were to blame, or should feel guilty for what happened to you, or anything you did, in this scenario.
You were a vulnerable teen. Lying about your age did not cause this to happen.
Shame on those who should of protected you, physically and emotionally, before and after the event.
Would you consider counselling OP? There are online and telephone services if that might seem more doable. 💐

Any shame should be laid at these men’s feet. And at your parents / the police for making you feel like a tramp. Unfortunately when we were young, parents didn’t talk to their kids about older men targeting young girls. My mother married in the early 60s, before attitudes to sex had changed, and my 70s / 80s childhood was of typical benign neglect, when our generation needed far more than that.

These men knew exactly what they were doing. And our parents said nothing and did nothing to protect us. I say us, because at 15, I was also targeted by a guy at least 10 years older, right at the start of the 5th year (year 11). I later learned he was living with his girlfriend. I was the second girl from my school in the same year. Again, I didn’t know this until the girl and her friends relentlessly bullied me all year for taking ‘her’ man. I presume she did have sex with him when I didn’t. He tried, well he actually did do it for a very short while and when he started to have sex with me, I said no (more than once) and when he realised I wasn’t going to stop saying no, he stopped.

He and his girlfriend showed up at a party one day. She was pregnant and the pregnancy would have happened around the same time as he first targeted me. I later found out they lived together. And the day he tried to have sex with me, he’d taken me to their flat, in their bed.

All before I knew about the gf, I liked having an older guy after me. I liked the attention and felt starved of affection. He kept on standing me up and I was sad and lonely. I know now, he either will have been with another girl, who complied, or maybe his girlfriend didn’t go out etc.

My parents didn’t say anything to me about staying away from him, even at the start, when I told them the bullying girl and friends tried to start a rumour that I had VD (old language for an sti). Nor later, when they knew I was being stood up. Idk if they even saw him in the flesh. He had a motorbike and a licence, so odds on they knew he was older.

What happened to you was horrible. You didn’t know you had a choice. I did. Such men target young girls, because a lot of 15/16 year olds didn’t know how to say no or even know that was a choice. And we should have been better protected. That’s why we are so much more protective of our kids.

The people who were naive were the family you were staying with who let you go with unknown men - how were you supposed to be sure of being home by 10pm. I'm so sorry OP, and it sounds like you need to talk about this again and again, and take into making some free expressive art, movement, being in nature and so on.

I am of an age with you and we were brought up with "Well you know what men are like" so the onus was on us to not put temptation in their way, so if we were taken advantage of it was obviously our fault.

I had similar experiences to you and I dont feel traumatised, just sad that no one educated me better about personal safety.

ETA I was never actually told "what men are like" until after it had happened, as if it is something we should already have known. Thank goodness we are teaching our daughters (and our sons!) better.

You were definitely not a tramp OP. You were a child, taken advantage of. Lying about your age by less than 1 year does not put you at fault for anything that happened.

If you think about this every day you are traumatised. Not just by what these men did, but by your parents and police reaction. You should speak to a counsellor, unpack it all. You did nothing wrong.
💐

You'e not a tramp, you were targeted by men looking for sex and they knew you were underage.

This. You were no tramp, just a kid wanting to feel older and targeted by much older man who knew you were way too young to be sexually messed with, but didn't care.

Be kind to yourself.

Mid 70s there were 14/15 year old girls sleeping with their 17/18 year old boyfriends. Boyfriends with cars coming to pick them up from school. I can could name 4 girls in my class alone who actually went on to marry their "sweethearts" and 50 years on they are still together!!

When I was 16 I slept with a guy I liked who was 25. He did to me what Russell brand did but for years I was made to feel it was my fault.

Eek. I'm sorry. Nasty exploitative men. It’s hard to come to terms with being used like that. And most of us have that feeling about somewhere in our past.

You are better than that.

It wasn't your fault at all. You were a naive child. The adults in this situation should never have let you go and they should have explained why it was so risky. Instead you were sent in like a lamb to the slaughter.

You definitely weren’t a tramp, just a young girl enjoying attention from what you thought were decent men. ❤️