Child Maintenance AIBU?

Thesafetygeneral · 2026-11-10T15:56:48+00:00

My ex is golden on the whole and pays maintenance for his DC every month no issues. However, he wants to move the date from 1 of each month to the 15. I have no problem with that. However, that means that the maintenance was paid on 1 Nov and now won’t be paid until 15 Dec so it’s 2 weeks short. I’m being accused of being penny pinching by asking him to pay the shortfall, but if it was any other bill then the pro-data amount would have to be covered. Am I being a nightmare on this and unreasonable to ask for it? It’s leaving me two weeks without maintenance.

Ophy83 · Today 17:46

Thesafetygeneral · Today 17:38

So many valid points. On the whole we have a more or less healthy co parenting relationship. I suppose when he earns 3 x more than I do and I do 90% of the childcare I just feel a bit put out that I have to scrimp for two weeks

Particularly in December which is always an expensive month!

Katemax82 · Today 17:39

If I were to pay my rent late I'd have to pay for the days in between....

Original poster

Thesafetygeneral · Today 17:38

So many valid points. On the whole we have a more or less healthy co parenting relationship. I suppose when he earns 3 x more than I do and I do 90% of the childcare I just feel a bit put out that I have to scrimp for two weeks

OP posts:

Original poster

Thesafetygeneral · Today 17:34

Blackbird2409 · Today 17:20

Let’s put it this way, if he passed away or did a runner on the 14th, you would be 2 weeks short of maintenance that you would otherwise have received if he had paid as normal on the 1st. Also it is paid in arrears, so if paid on 1st dec, he is paying for previous month. If paid on 15th, it should be for previous 6 weeks! Unless of course, he paid you a month in advance from the very date you split up.

Think that’s a bit silly, he hasn’t passed away or done a runner as per my previous post

OP posts:

Original poster

Thesafetygeneral · Today 17:33

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · Today 17:02

This is what I was about to say.

He can take the loss, presumably he has savings?

Everyone knows people’s bills tend to come out on the first of the month, so he’s effectively leaving you without the payment for one month.

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I’ve asked him to continue to pay in 15 and he said no

OP posts:

Blackbird2409 · Today 17:20

Let’s put it this way, if he passed away or did a runner on the 14th, you would be 2 weeks short of maintenance that you would otherwise have received if he had paid as normal on the 1st. Also it is paid in arrears, so if paid on 1st dec, he is paying for previous month. If paid on 15th, it should be for previous 6 weeks! Unless of course, he paid you a month in advance from the very date you split up.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · Today 17:02

jmh740 · Today 16:26

Ask him to pay on 15th November

This is what I was about to say.

He can take the loss, presumably he has savings?

Everyone knows people’s bills tend to come out on the first of the month, so he’s effectively leaving you without the payment for one month.

IkeaJesusChrist · Today 16:46

Is two weeks really going to cause that much difficulty for you to rock the boat over?

You will be paid for December and January etc, I'd personally leave it unless you were going to seriously struggle.

caringcarer · Today 16:42

Thesafetygeneral · Today 16:21

He’s changing his job and the impact is that his pay date is changing. Nothing sinister

I'd point out his DC still needs to eat for those 2 weeks.

VanquishedColston · Today 16:28

Is it actually going to cause you financial difficulties to be without that money at that time? Or will you be getting paid your own wages at the end of November which will tide you over until the middle of Dec?

If it's not going to cause hardship I'd leave it, since you've said he's good usually.

DiNozzoComingBack · Today 16:27

Tricky. I can see why he. might think he' spaying for December... just on a different date. I can also see why you feel you are short. DH's work changed their payment schedule a couple of years ago and we were in this exact situation - over the full length of his work there, he was being paid the same, but suddenly we were two weeks short for that month.

Could you split the difference? He pays 1 week on 1 December? and then as usual?

GeorgeMichaelsCat · Today 16:27

He should pay the two weeks. Changing the date is neither here nor there. What he owes is the same regardless of when it gets paid.

CombatBarbie · Today 16:26

So he can manage his own finances for payment to still be 1st or is he going to change all his bills to 15th?

jmh740 · Today 16:26

Ask him to pay on 15th November

Original poster

Thesafetygeneral · Today 16:21

He’s changing his job and the impact is that his pay date is changing. Nothing sinister

OP posts:

halfeatenspaghettihoops · Today 16:12

YANBU, he needs to pay normal maintenance plus half for the 2 week delay. Whether you can actually get him to do that is a different question.

Arlanymor · Today 16:10

MellowSubmarine · Today 16:08

So your argument is that the maintenance is for the following four weeks (ish), whereas he’s presumably arguing that the December payment is for December so would be the same amount whenever in December it is paid?

This was my question. He wants to pay once a month but on a different day.

Sartre · Today 16:10

If he’s paid 1 November - 1 December then it is indeed short if he pays on 15 December next and he needs to pay the shortfall.

MellowSubmarine · Today 16:08

So your argument is that the maintenance is for the following four weeks (ish), whereas he’s presumably arguing that the December payment is for December so would be the same amount whenever in December it is paid?

Tortephant · Today 16:06

I could vote both ways on this.
If he is genuinely “golden” and you can cope I’d leave it.

There seems a bigger issue though and from what you say this is out of character.

Why does he want to change the date? Is one has that two week buffer for something else?

This all suggests something else is going on that I would try and establish before pushing too far. it’s not worth harming an otherwise good relationship over to me.