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To think about claiming PIP in these circumstances?

128 replies

ATenFromShirley · Today 12:31

I’ve NCd for this. I’m looking for some honest thoughts and opinions that I probably won’t get in real life.

I’m 34 and have MS. I tend to look ok (not to myself, but as in, you probably wouldn’t guess to look at me apart from on a very bad day). Lots of my symptoms are invisible: balance, muscle spasms, numbness, dizziness, and the worst of them all, fatigue.

I live with my parents, and I work full time. My parents do SO much for me, they do the food shop and all of the housework. I do pay my way (a third of everything, and a bit extra). I go to work, exercise twice a week and then crash at the weekends. I often won’t leave the sofa because I’m so exhausted. If I try to see friends etc, I’m done in for the next working week too. I truly can’t explain what the fatigue feels like- I’m so bone tired and brain foggy I’m tearful at the thought of another day ahead, even after nine hours sleep.

I desperately want to buy a house and have some independence, but I really can’t envisage being able to work full time and then do all of the life stuff that my parents currently are basically doing for me. I’ve realised I probably will never be able to have children (a whole other heartbreak in itself).

The thought of my life being as it is forever terrifies me. I feel like if I could work 3 days a week, I could still have 2 days for rest and be able to manage things like cooking and housework. But to do this financially, I’d have to look at PIP.

I think part of what makes this difficult is that I probably don't fit the stereotypical picture of someone who needs disability benefits. I work full time, I exercise twice a week, I look relatively well most of the time. I can do things, and I recognise that there are people with MS who are much more physically affected than I am.
But I also spend most of my non-working time recovering from the basics, and I rely heavily on my parents to do the things that make everyday life function.

I feel a bit stuck between two things. I don't feel disabled enough to justify asking for support, but I also know that I just can’t continue living like this indefinitely. I don't want to spend the next 30 years working full time, coming home exhausted and spending my weekends recovering. I want a home, independence, relationships, experiences and a life that isn't entirely dictated by how much energy I have left.

I suppose I'm asking whether reducing my working hours and potentially claiming PIP is a reasonable way of approaching this, or whether I'm being unrealistic and actually this is just what my life is going to look like. I also recognise that lots of people are exhausted from full time work!

I'd really appreciate honest opinions- I genuinely want to hear how other people see this, even if it's not necessarily what I want to hear. Thank you.

OP posts:
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icecreamscreams · Today 18:05

Passaggressfedup · Today 14:47

This thread is showing exactly what is wrong with the system. Everyone wants more money, everyone think if X gets it, I should to.

Then, people tells you that if course you can get it as long as you know what to write and lie...

And then when we have threads about PIP being too easy to get, the government not being able to get, you get messages after messages going on about how hard it is to get it, that no one that can get on with next to a normal life could ever pass the eligibility test, and people who dare say they know someone who does gets vilified.

There is a section of people who are being totally missed who are well enough technically to work FT but unwell enough to not be able to do anything else

when I was struggling really badly with my condition, I nearly lost my job. I needed to cut my hours but as a single person couldn’t afford to. Was taking time off work due to excruciating pain that couldn’t be controlled and clung on to my job only as they knew I was waiting for an operation and trying my absolute best. I was working while on morphine regularly

on a bad week I go to work, come home, eat cereal and go to bed. On a good week I can exercise. I’m not bad enough for PIP but not well enough to function normally every week

Liverpoolery · Today 17:58

I don’t know if you’ll get it OP, but if I were you I would apply and see what they say. You certainly sound to me as if you deserve it - and you’re sort of stuck in a catch 22. I understand the system is struggling and funds are limited but this is what it should be for imo

AuntiePettitoes · Today 17:57

Of course you should claim Pip. You have a debilitating condition and probably tire easily. Can't believe some folk on here don't think you should get it.

aCatCalledFawkes · Today 17:50

TigerRag · Today 17:32

Yep. You can explain your bad days and how often but you shouldn't write it as if that's how you normally are

Except how do you know when your going to have a bad day? Things that you would claim PIP for don't give you every weekend off or tell you which bad days in the week your going to have next week. OPs bad days are most probably unpredictable.

fuckweasel · Today 17:50

cowxst · Today 13:20

Reducing work hours and using PIP to bridge that gap is an entirely reasonable thing to do.

That is exactly what I use my ADP (Scottish version of PIP) for. It means I can drop half a day a week and actually make it to the end of the working week. I also have MS.

Thetentertwiner · Today 17:38

Re worse days - it’s best to keep a diary so you can accurately keep a record of how often you can’t do certain things and your diary also serves as evidence.

Greedybilly · Today 17:37

@Zanatdyare you a PIP assessor?

TigerRag · Today 17:32

Zanatdy · Today 16:43

You also shouldn’t suggest your worse day is your normal day as that’s fraud.

Yep. You can explain your bad days and how often but you shouldn't write it as if that's how you normally are

JayAlfredPrufrock · Today 17:28

@Hatty65 That’s bloody awful.

x2boys · Today 17:17

curtaintimeup · Today 16:20

OP people with far less impactful disabilities than MS apply and receive PIP but, and this is a big but - get help from the CAB with the form. There is a very specific way to fill in the form and even though you’re deserving of PIP, you just won’t receive it if you don’t approach the form in the right way.

Edited

Define far less impactful disabillities?
Again it goes off need not disgnosis.

Oioiqueen · Today 17:11

Cab have very good info on their website about how to answer the questions.

Hatty65 · Today 16:51

Apply.

I have long Covid and chronic fatigue syndrome and you cannot explain to anyone who does not have this the sheer, bone deep exhaustion where you could weep because you are so tired. I have had to take early retirement because of this and I do get PiP. I'm pretty much bedbound.

What I would say is that you cannot rely on it. So by all means apply, and if you are awarded it then perhaps look at cutting down your hours (or cut down and hope to be awarded it). It is supposed to be based on what you can manage and how your condition affects you, but it feels really random. My DH who is genuinely disabled with a spinal condition and damaged leg used to get PiP at the full amount for his mobility needs. At his last review he suddenly went from achieving 20/20 full points for mobility to zero. Zero. They decided that he was clearly miraculously cured and could walk over 200m despite medical evidence and him being unable previously (and currently) to walk any kind of distance. He has only deteriorated in the 4 years since they awarded him the full amount. One of their arguments was that he didn't have a disability adapted car, so he wasn't that bad. Another argument was despite him being permanently prescribed both Tramadol and liquid Morphine for the pain he admitted that he tried not to take 8 trammies every day (mostly because they are addictive and become ineffective). This was used as evidence that he wasn't that bad. Nevertheless, and despite appealing they stopped his PiP entirely and no amount of appeals or re-applying has done any good.

It's a bloody awful system, but you should still apply.

Zanatdy · Today 16:43

You also shouldn’t suggest your worse day is your normal day as that’s fraud.

Zanatdy · Today 16:42

Doesn’t sound like you need help with the tasks on the list so doubt you’d qualify if can go to gym etc.

Thetentertwiner · Today 16:38

Velumental · Today 16:30

I remember my mum applying, she had several conditions meaning she was in constant and severe pain, hypermobility, early heart failure, chronic lung failure, worse ing scoliosis meaning she was bent almost double and went from 4 foot 11 to 4 foot 8, she got knocked back repeatedly despite letters from consultants and her GP eventually it got approved and backdated. Unfortunately by that point she'd been dead for 6 weeks. So she died feeling entirely undermined in her pain and suffering. So yeah, it's not straightforward

I’m so sorry. That’s appalling. Since helping my friends I keep hearing of so many appalling situations like this.

Joyforsomenotall · Today 16:37

Just to add there are some good resources about filling in the form fb groups, various associations. Goigle is your friend. Have a read before you fill it in and truthfully describe a bad day. As I understand it there are 2 sections. One, maybe daily living and the other mobility and you get points for each question. Enough points you get the award. No 100% so do check. Also it is no yes or no people receive varying rates dependant on points

Joyforsomenotall · Today 16:32

PIP is not income dependant. Do the form, if you are interviewed honestly describe a bad day. Good luck, you are using it as it is designed for. The extra costs associated with chronic illness.

Velumental · Today 16:30

x2boys · Today 12:55

The PIP form is quite straight forward can you care for yourself independently ie,wash dress etc or do you need assitance ?
Can you make yourself a bssic a meal and this can be as basic as a microwave meal or sandwich independently or do you need assistnce
Can
Do you need assistance walking ( i think its 20 metres?) Or can you do this indendently
Can you plan and under take a journey indepently from A to B ?
If you can do all of this you are unlikely to get an award
You will need robust evidence to back up your claim.

I remember my mum applying, she had several conditions meaning she was in constant and severe pain, hypermobility, early heart failure, chronic lung failure, worse ing scoliosis meaning she was bent almost double and went from 4 foot 11 to 4 foot 8, she got knocked back repeatedly despite letters from consultants and her GP eventually it got approved and backdated. Unfortunately by that point she'd been dead for 6 weeks. So she died feeling entirely undermined in her pain and suffering. So yeah, it's not straightforward

Dontcallmescarface · Today 16:29

ATenFromShirley · Today 12:56

This is exactly it. If I wrote it from the perspective of my worst days, I think I’d score points. But on good days (and without working 9-5) I absolutely can do everything on that list.

That's exactly how you should write it. Oh and you can work full-time AND get PIP.

ruethewhirl · Today 16:24

cowxst · Today 13:20

Reducing work hours and using PIP to bridge that gap is an entirely reasonable thing to do.

Absolutely. There are some bloody mean-spirited responses on this thread.

OP, I think you should definitely apply.

5128gap · Today 16:24

Check out the MS society website financial support section. Theres helpful information on there tailored to your condition.
If in doubt, apply. You don't need to be the judge of whether you qualify or not. That's what the assessment is for.

curtaintimeup · Today 16:20

OP people with far less impactful disabilities than MS apply and receive PIP but, and this is a big but - get help from the CAB with the form. There is a very specific way to fill in the form and even though you’re deserving of PIP, you just won’t receive it if you don’t approach the form in the right way.

TheKitchenLady · Today 16:15

For me, the fact your parents are effectively parenting you in the way they would a dependent, enables you to work full-time and get in some much-needed exercise that helps your condition and is encouraged by medics. But what if your parents weren't able to do this? How well would you be able to cope if you had to do the shopping, cooking, cleaning etc? As an adult, surely that is the starting point for assessing your need - how well could you cope independently.

I don't know what type of MS you have or for how long you have been living with it. My late ex-husband had relapsing remitting, and was then also diagnosed with secondary progressive. He coped well for a good number of years, and was able to work full time, albeit his balance was not brilliant and he would struggle with fatigue as you have described. But as his MS progressed, what he was able to do began to reduce and he became more reliant on others to support him. So I think you are right to think about the future and establish what help you can get now, and also what additional support there may be.

Have you got a local MS Society group near you that you could get contact? They may be able to give good guidance on what support you are able to access financially. And beyond that, they may be able to provide information on therapies and treatments that could help you keep the disease under control or better managed. If you've not already been in touch with them, please do consider it.

I wish you all the best for the future. I'm so sorry that your wish to have children may not happen. That's a really tough pill to swallow on top of an MS diagnosis. Take care and take all the financial help you can get - you truly deserve this.

Ted27 · Today 16:12

@Grimda

you really have no idea what PIP is for and clearly a narrow view of disability.

Not everyone with a disability or severe medical condition uses a wheelchair.
I receive the full PIP. I do not use a wheelchair or any other electrical equipment

mysittingduck · Today 16:06

ATenFromShirley · Today 12:53

Thank you. I think the fear is really that if I can go to the gym or play badminton twice a week, I’m not eligible for the higher rate payments (and then I’d be living in fear about fraud!) But equally my neurologist has told me that exercise is crucial and I absolutely couldn’t manage it if I was doing everything else too.

I have rather similar health issues and frequently fall foul of the 'if you can do x you can do y' fallacy. If you have trouble with the PIP application, you can get help from Citizens Advice. Good luck.

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