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Original poster

When is honesty not the best policy?

6 replies

UnNiddeRides · 10/11/2026 05:11

My son went to visit a friend for the weekend. He came back today & though he said he’d had a good time he was a little subdued.
It’s because on Saturday night they went for a meal, & when the bill came my son saw that the first beer each was included but the next 2 rounds weren’t so effectively they were getting 2 beers each for free. He wanted the bill to be corrected & his friend said he would only pay the original amount. They split that but my son then told the staff that they had undercharged & he paid for the 4 beers.
He was fine with this, but his phone was pinging all the time on his 3hr drive home & when he arrived & read the messages it was because his friend had told others that my son was being stupid about the whole thing, it was the restaurant’s fault, & he was being made to feel like a thief. The majority of messages said that my son was in the wrong & he’s now wishing that he’d just not said anything.
I think that he did the right thing but he’s getting a lot of criticism about it. Should he have kept quiet?

OP posts:
Autumnalhibernationisthedream · 10/11/2026 05:16

Made to feel like a thief- I’d say it was that he either wanted to get away with it or he felt like your son looked like the good guy- which he was! It’s the same as if you ask people if you found x would you keep it or not-I’m always so surprised by the volume of finders keepers or its their mistake people

nonevernotever · 10/11/2026 05:30

He did the right thing. He was honest but didn't expect his friend to pay any extra. He sounds like a decent guy who has been brought up well. If his friend is feeling uncomfortable that's because a mirror has been held up to his own inadequate moral code. It's easy to tell yourself that noone else would be honest about it either when it's abstract, or there's only you involved, but much harder to fool yourself when someone holds themself to a higher standard in front of you. (You see it on here all the time when some posters are adamant that "in the real world" noone would point out an error in a bill that was in their favour/hand in small amounts of cash that had been found/ return a duplicate parcel etc etc)

BobTheTeckel · 10/11/2026 05:31

We had a table for ten in a local restaurant this Summer. We pre-ordered our food. When the bill came the food was not on the bill (over £400), presumably because of the pre-order. Several wanted to just pay what was on the bill. I still judge those for wanting to skip out on what they had eaten.
I hate dishonesty. I grew up fairly poor and was surrounded by it. In this case I'm quite sure they would have noticed, but even if they didn't I'd still have corrected the bill.

Original poster
UnNiddeRides · 10/11/2026 05:33

Autumnalhibernationisthedream · 10/11/2026 05:16

Made to feel like a thief- I’d say it was that he either wanted to get away with it or he felt like your son looked like the good guy- which he was! It’s the same as if you ask people if you found x would you keep it or not-I’m always so surprised by the volume of finders keepers or its their mistake people

Thank you! It’s not a word that his friends would use, but he got the feeling that he was being called ‘prissy’.

OP posts:
SatanicMechanic · 10/11/2026 05:36

I expect you’re very proud of him, I certainly would be!

So lovely to hear of someone’s honesty when you hear so many stories of people trying to get away with things and rip others off.

Original poster
UnNiddeRides · 10/11/2026 05:47

BobTheTeckel · 10/11/2026 05:31

We had a table for ten in a local restaurant this Summer. We pre-ordered our food. When the bill came the food was not on the bill (over £400), presumably because of the pre-order. Several wanted to just pay what was on the bill. I still judge those for wanting to skip out on what they had eaten.
I hate dishonesty. I grew up fairly poor and was surrounded by it. In this case I'm quite sure they would have noticed, but even if they didn't I'd still have corrected the bill.

It does make you see people in a different light. Unfortunately it seems that my son’s peers see him as a mug. I’m grateful that the opinion so far is that he’s not alone in what he thought was right.

OP posts:
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