Teaching assistant confrontation

There are no excuses for this, OP, including 'overworked'.

You asked for an explanation and she could not give one. You need to speak to her calmly again today at pick up, or someone at the school to find out what happened from their point of view.

Stand up, and firmly, for your son. I say that as someone who had to do so when my own son was 5 years old and had a vile TA (who is now a teacher and by all accounts still vile to boys). Some people shouldn't work with children.

I’ve been the teacher with a TA who did this. I was absolutely furious. I complained about her. She was moved away from the child she was one-to-one for - and honestly, it was a massive relief for me (I appreciate the teacher’s feelings are irrelevant - but it might reassure you that they won’t be thinking of you as ‘that’ parent).

You absolutely need to write and talk to the SENCO. Be very factual in your email - though it’s fine to let your emotions show whilst speaking.

You are not. send an email over so you could give them time to carry out the neccessary checks and then wait from them to respond to the email. I find that way is the most effective, for me personally.

That's awful handling by the ta. Your poor son

Super unprofessional. I[d put in a formal complaint to the Head and the Governors. If a TA is unable to regulate their emotions to that extent it is clearly a safeguarding issue.

Regardless of the incident the way she spoke to you was completely unacceptable. I’d email head and senco explaining exactly what happened - your sons account and your account in the playground

Agree you need to speak to the school about how you were approached. As a TA the teacher will sometimes ask me to speak to parents if she felt the issue was something I had better knowledge of e.g. working with a child at the time. Normally you move the parent to one side and explain what happened. In the case of a sen child this would involve explaining what led up to the meltdown.

What strategies are used for your son to manage time? You mention he dislikes timers and being told to hurry, so what strategies are in place? This is something practical that can be raised rather than simply complaining. E.g in Fred's EHCP it is noted he finds timers triggering, staff should use XYZ as an alternative (visuals for now and next, verbal countdown - you have 5 mins left etc).

Of course it shouldn’t have happened but, if it’s not part of a pattern, it does rather indicate a person who is at breaking point. Sadly not uncommon in schools and a major contributor to the recruitment and retention crisis of school staff at the moment.

I imagine that TA will now be off sick (usually the first step before resignation) but of course you should speak to someone about it, for the TA’s sake as well as your son’s.

I hope your son is ok, it’s not pleasant thing for him to have gone through.

I would make it clear to the school that this woman doesn’t come near to your child or you again! Her behaviour is beyond d appalling!!! Zero excuse for it!!! She should be fired imo

Yeah it's not okay, but as a different perspective when I have seen teachers do this it's usually because of the child's behaviour. Not excusing it just saying that managing extreme behaviour like this in a mainstream school is very hard, especially if she has a whole class to manage.

I think you do need to address it with her superior but going in all guns blazing probably won't win you any friends and therefore might not actually help your child.

You could request to meet the head of special needs etc and her together and try to work out a plan for your son's behaviour management going forward.

What level ASD is your son? Is there an intellectual impairment? And what therapy is he in is to learn to regulate his emotions? It could be worthwhile revisiting it with his therapy team.

I am a TA, and this is unacceptable.

if there has been an incident that needs communicating to parents I either invite them inside to talk privately, phone them or have a discreet conversation at the door, depending on the nature of it.

i am overworked, dangerously close to burn out and massively taken advantage of with regards to covering classes, but it still doesn’t make it ok to storm across the playground and
communicate with parents in that way. If that is how she behaves in public I would wonder how she behaves in class.

i would email both the Sendco and the head and they will make the decision regarding who handles it depending on who the ta reports to.

I am not excusing the way she handled this (either the situation with him, or the way she told you) but I wouldn't be at all surprised if she's stressed and over worked. (As a TA, when I cover a class, I don't get a TA!)

I'd definitely email the SENCO and let them know an incident occurred and that the way you were informed was inappropriate, but I'd also suggest that maybe the relevant information about his needs and triggers hasn't been shared with the TA covering the class.. or is this a 1:1 TA and I'm barking up the wrong tree?

What exactly did he shout at her? It may have been completely unacceptable.

She did handle it incorrectly though. She should have reported it to SenCo who could then have called you in for a meeting.

Senco AND Head IMO. Completely unacceptable and unprofessional. I hope your son is ok

Email the school, explain what happened and ask for a meeting with the SENDCo and headteacher. The TA was really unprofessional and she nerds to be pulled up on it and reminded how to behave moving forwards. Is she aware of his triggers? If she isn’t, then she needs to be. I’m not one to make a fuss but this needs calling out.

This is shit op.i think either the senco or the head? You are not I blowing this way out of the water at all.