Helicopter parents at parties

At 3/4 they are still very young, especially the 3 year olds. Their parents know better than you how much supervision they need. If you where taking about 6 year olds I would have agreed with you.

If there's a bouncy castle, I guarantee my 4yo will find some way of hurting herself. She'll shovel too much food into her mouth (despite being told not to every single damn time) and not sit still while eating. Her eyesight is terrible (glasses with a very high prescription which have often been damaged at parties) and like a lot of 4 year old, she gets overexcited and needs to be reminded to calm down, watch out for younger children, etc.

It is entirely dependant on the child. Mind your own business!

I bet he's your first?

They're all different. I had one who refused to be away from me at parties and one who I barely saw.

Lovely to know fellow parents will find anything to judge in their quest to convince themselves they're doing it right.

just waiting for the thread… went to a birthday party today and this woman let her child run wild unsupervised, pushing little ones out of the way whilst all she was doing is opening the occasional snack 😂😂😂

I tended to stay fairly close to my dd in soft play places.
There were always little shits in there running riot whilst their parent was too busy having a brew to notice.
I was quite laid back initially, until a 7 year old boy smashed into her when she was 3 and broke her nose

I didn't stay close when they were eating, would just make sure she was okay and tell her where she could find me if she wanted me.

My 4.5yo is pretty rough. So I hover to ensure I can give him in trouble quick enough if necessary so that other parents don’t moan he’s causing trouble and I’m nowhere to be seen.

I probably look like a helicopter parent even with my 6 year old, if she’s at parties or other gatherings. She has severe allergies and if left to her own devices will take a nibble of things she’s not allowed as other kids will eat them and they are treat foods. You don’t know everyone’s circumstances. I don’t manage her every social interaction though such as playing or minor conflict unless I can see it is getting dangerous or she has been rude, then yes I will step in.

At our toddler playdates, we usually leave my husband to it, at a 4/5:1 ratio with the rest of us chatting in the kitchen. He's very on their level.

But especially at wider parties he often finds himself playing first responder to a 3/4yo whose parent is nowhere to be seen.

I think the hands-off parents benefit a bit from having one of the hoverers around the kids offering general reminders about sharing etc.

Surely it depends on the child and whether you can trust them not to pick a fight in the ball pit?

Wandering around keeping an eye on a child is also a good way to avoid having to make small talk with the other party parents.

Not saying either way is wrong

Dont be disingenuous. You know you think your way is ‘better’. Just own it!

I’ve got 5 kids, with the first three I was just like you as I could be, number 4 was very clingy so I had to stay with him or he would just sit with me on the sidelines, number 5 is autistic (although many wouldn’t realise at first) I stay close to avoid anything that could cause a meltdown or if he elopes.
Every parent and every child is different

I have a 4yo and will stay close enough. Especially if there is a bouncy castle, surely that’s just basic decent parenting. OTOH there’s parents like you who think it’s a party for them and just pop by without supervising their child.

Depends hugely on the child at that age.

A lot of them can get over excited and get a bit silly- play fighting a bit too rough or pushing past others, not sharing etc. Even kids that are perfectly sensible at nursery. Better a helicopter parent than an injured kid i think.

My experience of parties at this age is that parents don’t supervise enough. My daughter got kicked in the face by a child jumping of the top of a bouncy castle (I saw but wasn’t quick enough to help) and the parent of the child didn’t even know it had happened as she was at the other side of the room chatting…! I was pretty annoyed her child wasn’t being told not to climb. I told him but he continued of course. Said parent has 3 boys and I think just lets them get on with it.

My youngest (3) doesn’t have the confidence to go off at parties like that so you will often find me with him. Yesterday I had to stand right beside him at the food bit as otherwise he would keep making a dash to the buffet table for as many chocolate biscuits and marshmallows as he could carry. Never had these issues with my oldest, but I did still hover at food time as he once properly choked and it was the most terrifying experience of my life. Stop being so judgey!

That’s what it sounds like to me too 😂😂
some parents know they can’t trust their kids to be a bit boisterous and will hover around to make sure they’re on hand to step in and take action quickly. I was quite grateful for those parents! Better than the other end of the spectrum who sat back chatting and ignoring the chaos their little darlings were causing!
Of course most parents sort of sit in the middle, keep an eye but also sat and chatted. Some people don’t really want to make small talk and it’s easiest for them to just be by their kid.
It really doesn’t make a difference to you if you’re happy with your way and it works for your kid.

Depends on the child and the parent, surely?

I wish I could’ve done that. I couldnt. Youre very lucky. Lets not be smug.

YANBU- parents are way too much at birthday parties nowadays. Those who hung about at my son’s 7th soft play party were massive pains, the children were great it was the parents with the issue. E.g. when staff were getting more squash, I said to the children it was on its way, they were fine waiting literally 2 mins, parents were couldn’t cope, were fussing, handing them water bottles and buying and bringing in slushie drinks, they are teaching their children nothing about patience!!! I wish they had left.

I’m stunned anyone hangs around at house parties, I drop mine off and refuse to suffocate them. Some are still not dropping off and my eldest is now in Year 3! His friends openly told their own parents to go at his last party, they are stifling and embarrassing them. It’s all too much! I would have hated it as a child.

You are probably one of those parents at the soft play sitting at the table and having coffee while your precious child making a mess. Disgrace

Maybe their kids go properly wild at parties and they were afraid their kid would never invited again? Or maybe it was for show as they were afraid they’d be judged for taking a step back.

It really depends on the child. I have to helicopter parent my 7 year old because he loses every bit of common sense he has when he's not being watched.

am I just a lazy laissez-faire parent, or are the helicopter parents quite intense?

why does it have to be either? Both are fine at 3/4 years old, every child is different and require different levels of support at that age.

3/4 years and at nursery - most will therefore be 3 years old and the 4 year old birthday parties just kicking off. Based on your thread title, I was expecting this to be about much older children, not nursery goers! You sound pretty judgemental. An unnecessary post. Get over yourself.