Husband thinks we’ve left baby 2 too late

You shouldnt be planning an age gap based on what your friends are doing. And for its worth my 7 year old prefers playing with my friends younger 5 year old and then he will also play best with his oldest 14 year old cousin out of all the cousins he has. So when they get older the age gap between friends/cousins isnt a thing. Its personality types.

Well, how old are you both? How long did it take you to conceive first baby? Not sure it’s that easy to perfectly time an age gap. If you’re over 35, it might make more sense to just crack on TTC?

I don't think 3 years is a big age gap at all?!

What if you had ttc and couldn't and there was a big gap anyway? Is your DH the one who may have been putting his body under strain to have children back to back? He's ridiculous being cross about this.

My sister has boys who are three years apart and they adore each other. They are teens now.
I got on much better with my youngest sister than the one who was just two years younger than me.
How you get on depends on lots of things, not just the age gap.

You don't need to copy others. You don't even need to have a second child let alone a certain age gap.

You have a two year old, he’s being ridiculous. And also really odd. Why does he want a very small gap? It’s very convenient for him, as he doesn’t have to do the heavy lifting, but what’s his reasoning?

Nonsense. 3 years is a great gap. There are 3 between my sister and I and we are so close! Crack on.

He’s being ridiculous - so many in my circle have near 4 years of an age gap as nobody could afford 2 in nursery at the same time 🤷‍♀️

it’s a normal age gap

So, you’re not even (the dreaded) 35, yet.

Is your husband generally unreasonable?

I think there are loads of advantages to a 3 or 4y age gap.

• They are potentially less likely to be competitive against each other as they won't be at the same stage at the same time
• you don't have two sets of nappies or nursery fees at once
• the older one should be quite reliable to sit still and not bolt, just when your younger one is at the bolting phase, meaning you only need to keep an eye on one at once
• the older one can be motivated to be a good role model, prompting better behaviour
• older one has completely grown out of clothes to hand down

And yet

• just about close enough in age to watch the same TV and enjoy similar activities on holiday

I think the actual problem you are having is that your partner cares about keeping up with your peers in a weird way. Who cares if they have small age gaps? This is definitely not something that would cross most men's minds

A three year gap is pretty standard and bigger gaps are perfectly normal too.
The way he is carrying on would make
me think that perhaps he doesn’t want another child and is using this reasoning as an easy get out,

This is very silly.

There's nothing wrong with a 3 year gap and nothing wrong with your ages.

This sounds like more of an excuse from your DH, because honestly trying to schedule your children to exactly match your friends is really irrational.

I conceived my 2nd baby aged 39 on the first try and had a 4 year age gap. And it's all fab!!

Why does it matter what your friends are doing? Having a child is the biggest decision anyone could make, who in their right mind is trying to match friends instead of do what is right for them?
There is nothing wrong with a 3+ year age gap. How old are you both?

You're both being ridiculous, living your life on the basis of what others are doing.

I’ve got one in uni and one halfway through primary. What on earth is he talking about

I’m surprised at this as I have three under 5 and most people who were pregnant the same time as my first child have stuck at one, either intentionally or not (secondary infertility).

I would actually go as far as to say the age gap between my eldest and youngest is adorable so far (4.5 years) as he can actually be trusted with her and is fantastic at entertaining her whereas my 3 year old is too enthusiastic 🤣

My eldest two with a small age gap are best friends and into the same things which helps but they do also fight a LOT. So it’s very variable and there’s positives to every age gap I’d say!

Are you wanting to start TTC when DC is 3, or now so that you have the baby when they are 3? It’s not too late, but of course he may not want to start all over again the more time goes on, I no I wouldn’t have done! It’s personal preference. I don’t think 3 is any easier than 2 with a baby, 3 year olds are hard work. And of course it could end up being a much bigger gap. If you feel ready to have another baby why not just crack on?

Any age gap is fine.
Stop comparing with other families.

There's a 3.5 year age gap between me and my sibling. Most of my friends at school had a similar age gap. I think anything less is more unusual.

So you are TTC anyway?

Advice from my midwife was waiting at least 18 months, ideally at least 2 years, as the preference between having my current baby and trying for the next. He was born earlier this year so thats recent guidance.
Any sooner than that raised the risk of complications and strain on my body. Has your husband taken the toll on you to have two very close together pregnancies into account?

A three year gap is absolutely fine, so would a longer one be. Your husband is being pretty ridiculous.