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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Au pair salary

148 replies

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 01:38

So since 2024? Au pairs have to be paid minimum wage. Whilst I appreciate deduction for room, £800 a month, room, food and board seems a pretty good deal! Au pairs used to be a cultural exchange

OP posts:
LivelyGreyShark · 05/11/2026 01:43

Lots of people took the piss with au pairs / nannies. If you want your children looked after then pay a decent rate. You might pay £8 an hour min wage with a room and food on top to comply with the paying an au pair min wage - a newly qualified Norland Nanny would cost you £35 an hour.

Scottishskifun · 05/11/2026 01:46

They really aren't a cultural exchange though are they. They used to be basically very cheap childcare option mostly paying pittance a week to usually a young female.

I say this as someone who grew up with au pairs most were amazing but my parents got a very good deal paying what the agency suggested which was about £100 a week in the 90s. Given the amount of hours the au pairs worked it was pittance. I remember most would end up freelance babysitting on days off to other families to make extra cash

mumsntt · 05/11/2026 01:49

what is the AIBU in this post? are you for or against au pairs earning minimum wage?

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 01:51

Yeah don’t get me wrong, we’re paying the wages as per guidance, but its made me realise it’s a pretty good gig no bills, no expense no rent…..

OP posts:
Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 01:52

mumsntt · 05/11/2026 01:49

what is the AIBU in this post? are you for or against au pairs earning minimum wage?

Edited

Probably against I guess?

OP posts:
graygoose · 05/11/2026 01:56

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 01:51

Yeah don’t get me wrong, we’re paying the wages as per guidance, but its made me realise it’s a pretty good gig no bills, no expense no rent…..

I don’t think it’s a good gig if you get a shit family. These girls are taking on a good deal of personal risk to go live in a stranger’s home and essentially be at their mercy, though of course they can leave. It’s a good gig if you are with decent people but do not worth it if they’re mental.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:06

graygoose · 05/11/2026 01:56

I don’t think it’s a good gig if you get a shit family. These girls are taking on a good deal of personal risk to go live in a stranger’s home and essentially be at their mercy, though of course they can leave. It’s a good gig if you are with decent people but do not worth it if they’re mental.

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i suppose I don’t understand why minimum wage has been enforced on top of food and bills

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AmnesiacDream · 05/11/2026 02:17

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 01:51

Yeah don’t get me wrong, we’re paying the wages as per guidance, but its made me realise it’s a pretty good gig no bills, no expense no rent…..

Au pair is a misnomer, though. It's a live-in nanny role.

For the most part only attractive on NMW if you're pretty young and if the family live somewhere you want to be and they're nice to be around. It's hard to find live in nannies with plenty of experience if you don't live in London.

And it's a dicey living situation as can be ended on not much notice so you also need a fall back place to live.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:23

AmnesiacDream · 05/11/2026 02:17

Au pair is a misnomer, though. It's a live-in nanny role.

For the most part only attractive on NMW if you're pretty young and if the family live somewhere you want to be and they're nice to be around. It's hard to find live in nannies with plenty of experience if you don't live in London.

And it's a dicey living situation as can be ended on not much notice so you also need a fall back place to live.

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It’s not a live in nanny role it’s it’s just help with pick up and drop offs,

OP posts:
iwishtoo · 05/11/2026 02:27

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:23

It’s not a live in nanny role it’s it’s just help with pick up and drop offs,

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Well perhaps a childminder or after school club would be better then? I did a summer abroad as an au pair when I was a student. It was a truly horrible job.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:30

iwishtoo · 05/11/2026 02:27

Well perhaps a childminder or after school club would be better then? I did a summer abroad as an au pair when I was a student. It was a truly horrible job.

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Im not wondering if there’s other options! Just amazed what other job comes with bed and board! I worked in a hotel for €50 a month when I was 20 and just enjoyed the experience!

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iwishtoo · 05/11/2026 02:33

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:30

Im not wondering if there’s other options! Just amazed what other job comes with bed and board! I worked in a hotel for €50 a month when I was 20 and just enjoyed the experience!

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And that's part of the difference isn't it? You enjoyed it. It's a grim job for what used to be a pittance if you don't enjoy it.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:35

I suppose I’m just trying to understand the justification of the government enforcing minimum wage! No other minimum wage jobs get rent and food included.

OP posts:
Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:37

iwishtoo · 05/11/2026 02:33

And that's part of the difference isn't it? You enjoyed it. It's a grim job for what used to be a pittance if you don't enjoy it.

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surely being an au pair is a choice

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DuffyDavy · 05/11/2026 02:39

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:37

surely being an au pair is a choice

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Surely, using an au pair is a choice.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:43

DuffyDavy · 05/11/2026 02:39

Surely, using an au pair is a choice.

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Yeah obviously, i m just saying no other minimum wage job gets food, bills and rent included….so as a job with no qualifications- its not that bad

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 05/11/2026 02:47

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:23

It’s not a live in nanny role it’s it’s just help with pick up and drop offs,

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That surely depends on the age of the children. It's also not just help with pick ups and drop offs either.
If school age includes helping children ready in the morning, breakfasts, lunch packs etc. After school involves making snacks/meals and bedtime (age dependent). Holidays it's all day.

It is a live in nanny just paid less!
Paying minimum wage is to stop exploitation.

We had instances growing up of friends of au pairs (also au pairs) come stay because their families had taken away their passports and treated them appallingly.

If you don't want to pay them minimum wage then don't get an au pair simple as that.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:49

At 18, I went on a gap year….i didn’t stop to think of the ethics or fair wage, tax and pension contributions. I took the opportunity to travel Europe with various jobs, and it was fabulous. I got cheap accommodation, they got cheap labour.

20 years on, I have an au pair, who I’m paying by the books and I’m just shocked at £800 take home is probably more than most minimum wage jobs

OP posts:
Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:52

Scottishskifun · 05/11/2026 02:47

That surely depends on the age of the children. It's also not just help with pick ups and drop offs either.
If school age includes helping children ready in the morning, breakfasts, lunch packs etc. After school involves making snacks/meals and bedtime (age dependent). Holidays it's all day.

It is a live in nanny just paid less!
Paying minimum wage is to stop exploitation.

We had instances growing up of friends of au pairs (also au pairs) come stay because their families had taken away their passports and treated them appallingly.

If you don't want to pay them minimum wage then don't get an au pair simple as that.

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No I am paying minimum wage, but if she’s then costing me an additional 300/400£ a month in bills and food, and equivalent £900 rent..it’s more than “pocket money”

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 05/11/2026 02:52

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:43

Yeah obviously, i m just saying no other minimum wage job gets food, bills and rent included….so as a job with no qualifications- its not that bad

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Often seasonal farm pick jobs get rent and bills covered as part of the package especially today specialist ones. Several rural island custodian nature positions are the same.
Isolated fish farms some are on packages too.
Offshore workers (not minimum wage) get all accommodation, meals and laundry whilst offshore.
Vessel workers, yacht crews etc is the same (often for months at a time)
So your assessment is incorrect.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:54

Scottishskifun · 05/11/2026 02:52

Often seasonal farm pick jobs get rent and bills covered as part of the package especially today specialist ones. Several rural island custodian nature positions are the same.
Isolated fish farms some are on packages too.
Offshore workers (not minimum wage) get all accommodation, meals and laundry whilst offshore.
Vessel workers, yacht crews etc is the same (often for months at a time)
So your assessment is incorrect.

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So a 19 year old with zero qualifications should get the same remuneration as an offshore petroleum engineer?

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anon4net · 05/11/2026 02:54

@aupairinuk I think you summarized it as struggling to understand why they should be paid minimum wage?

It's because they are actually humans.

[slightly longer answer: they are humans with rights who shouldn't been taken advantage of like they were for decades, cleaning/cooking/working all hours, often with young children, with very minimal ability to save the paltry amount they were paid while mostly wealthy 'employers' bragged about what a great cultural exchange it was and how the au pairs are lucky to have this opportunity, while simultaneously bragging about how they'd never hire a nanny as they are a hands on Mum.].

ILoveKits · 05/11/2026 02:55

We had au-pairs in the noughties:
They worked 15hpw, mostly collecting dd from school at 3.45, ds got home at about 4.30. They cooked tea and I got home at 6pm. They did the children's laundry snd I had a cleaner.

I had Swedes so they didn't want English language classes - they chose something else.
Their deal was:
En-suite room in zone 2, London, with TV, mobile phone provided for family use.
All food (we ate well)
A return flight home per year
Two weeks paid holiday money
£80 pw spending money

We paid about £20 extra, the going rate was £60 at the time.

They most certainly were not nannies but they were fab. We had three. In touch with two and went to theur weddings. They have their own children now. All their parents came to visit.

Original poster
aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:57

anon4net · 05/11/2026 02:54

@aupairinuk I think you summarized it as struggling to understand why they should be paid minimum wage?

It's because they are actually humans.

[slightly longer answer: they are humans with rights who shouldn't been taken advantage of like they were for decades, cleaning/cooking/working all hours, often with young children, with very minimal ability to save the paltry amount they were paid while mostly wealthy 'employers' bragged about what a great cultural exchange it was and how the au pairs are lucky to have this opportunity, while simultaneously bragging about how they'd never hire a nanny as they are a hands on Mum.].

But it’s more than minimum wage isn’t it, as all expenses are covered

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 05/11/2026 02:59

aupairinuk · 05/11/2026 02:52

No I am paying minimum wage, but if she’s then costing me an additional 300/400£ a month in bills and food, and equivalent £900 rent..it’s more than “pocket money”

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Why would the equivalent rent be £900?! I'm assuming your in London for that price assumption. The au pair wouldn't be in that city without the request of a family.
So no they are not costing you the equivalent of £900 of rent given they are living in your property.

As I said if you don't want to pay an au pair then simply don't use after school clubs, a nanny (who will cost you way more) or childminders.

£200 a week spending is hardly living the high life either! Clothes, personal care, phone bill, often the au pairs we had would enroll on college courses etc.