Should we tell DC about Santa?

Same here for my 29, 28 and 26 year olds. Santa is just the delivery service though and no presents are under the tree until they’re all delivered by him on Christmas Eve. Santa is not taking credit for all the time and effort that goes in to present buying. One day the kids will be smart enough to work out for themselves that he’s not real. In the meantime, the Christmas magic continues.

I know my aunt thought my older cousin still believed in year 7 - my mum asked his when he left the room "Does Cousin...believe?" and my aunt said he did. I was in Year 6 at the time, had caught on a few years earlier that Santa always had our wrapping paper, and ten year old me thought it was hilarious that Cousin had got as far as Year 7 still believing.

Years later, thinking about it again and knowing that cousin as I do, I thought he was probably just playing along at that point rather than genuinely believing. I only really wondered after the subject came up at work once and someone said she'd sat her son down the summer before he started Year 7 to tell him herself rather than have it come up at school with other kids, but now I'd say my cousin was playing along. (He had a sister in year 2 who did still believe, so both of us were faking it for her benefit that year).

Tell him after Christmas.
We told ours that Yes, Santa is a real custom.
Having the discussion about what a custom is, requires the kid to be able to fathom abstract concepts.

Discus the beneficial reasons for customs, the creation of Santa and how he spreads love at Christmas to help children understand the loving spirit of God who gave us his own Son as a gift to mankind - to teach love, generosity for all.

He will like being a custodian of such a beautiful custom.

I’m a massive believer in letting children figure it out, BUT, I think going into high school you need to prepare them.

I never told my 2nd DD now year 8 but I suspected she’d known for a while and was testing us, I wasn’t worried she’d come out at school saying she believed and be picked on for it. She told me herself around Easter this year she knew the truth but wasn’t sure what to think because she knew we could never afford the presents “Santa” brought her. She’s got a thick skin and dosnt care what other people think about her which is why I let it play out.

However, I knew my oldest wouldn’t have taken it well if she found out at school. She found out at Christmas in year 6 and was devastated. It was always my intention that if she hadn’t figured it out I would tell her before high-school.

My friends told their 13 yo before starting high school this year (not UK) also ND, he’s very innocent and naive so he needed to be told. It was apparently very heartbreaking and took him a couple of days and lots of questions to deal with it. Now he’s excited that he gets to help with his younger siblings presents.

At 11 or 12 most kids probably don't believe themselves, I don't really remember if we explicitly told ours Santa isn't real, the anticipation just kind of dried down by the age of 8 or 9, I think? We still play along by mentioning Santa here and there and I'm making christmas video cards "from Santa", yet the kids know for a fact everything comes from us and have known that for a while (they are 12 and 13 now).
I think you can tell him but chances are he already knows. You can keep it as a fun game though, stating Santa isn't real doesn't mean you all have to forget about him!

My friend's son still believed in yr6. She roped in my son to try & convince him before he went to secondary school but he wouldn't have it for ages. Sadly it is probably best to burst their bubble as other kids can be very cruel.

Definitely 100% tell him.
I always brought mine up on the understanding that santa embodies the spirit of Xmas and all the presents and stocking are from me. It's not made it at all less special.

If he knows already, no harm done. If he doesn't know you have to tell him or he's going to be laughing stock of the school for life.
If he's really sensitive on top then sell it, you're old enough to be in on the secret now, its your turn to help be santa this year, get him involved in picking out presents and so on

Seriously, why even ask the question? He might know or have doubts and he might be choosing to keep the magic alive for himself! I know I did that as a tween/teen! Who are these utter grinch’s that think you should tell him? The world has gone mad!

And for all those saying kids can be cruel, yes they can but why are there so many arsehole kids around? My biggest concern isn’t that a kid at secondary school still believes in Father Christmas, my concern is that so many parents are bringing up unkind, cruel humans who would make this boy’s life a misery!!! Parents should do better!

The issue is that children don’t always make good judgments about what is cruel, because they don’t have the necessary experience and empathy. Because they are children. So telling another child that FC is made up and their parents have been lying to them might feel like doing them a favour, but be experienced as unkind.

St Nicholas definitely real. Bishop of Smyrna.

@bridgetreillyI find it totally bizarre that a child would not have any concept of empathy once they’ve started senior school? My DC is five and has empathy! Many parents don’t parent or call out their kid’s shitty behaviour, which doesn’t build empathy! I see it all the time! Mainly from people who are equally rude/self centred!

@bridgetreillymy kid is five and we created a magic fairy door! Another child told them it was just a plastic toy, so I told my child even fairies need to use plastic then made a video of the fairy visiting my child and sent it in for show and tell! The little girl who obviously has no magic in her life, was a bit flummoxed after that! What a sad, boring little life we have when we suck all the fun and magic out of it for our kids and ourselves

I didn’t say they don’t have any empathy. They might not have the necessary empathy in every situation.

@bridgetreillythere is a difference between telling a child Santa doesn’t exist and making a child’s life misery/then the laughing stock for still believing, which is what so many people above have said!

I plan to tell mine the summer before they start secondary.

that was my plan but wondering if she knows now. Been asked a few times over the past few weeks. I think they chat at school / she’s yr 5

ive said yes course he is real. Its so close to Xmas but if she asks /chats about it next year summertime etc I guess I wil have to reveal

she seems to still beleive ….

I have an 11 year old, Year 7, bright. who absolutely does believe. We’re shocked by it. The difference here is that he is in a Middle School so doesn’t start High School until Year 9. Not planning to tell him as lots still do believe although we will be dropping some hints.

I’m also a teacher and lots of Year 7’s still believe, more so than 10 years ago which is crazy considering all the tech now available.

There's no need. They figure it out themselves. I've never been told and neither has my adult DD.

Have you considered that he does know, but thinks that you don't, so he's keeping quiet as he doesn't want to spoil it for you?

My eldest dd def still believed when she entered secondary school. So I told her. On mn it is common to think an 11/12 year old can’t possibly still believe. But they can. My dd js now 21 and confirms she did believe until we told her. Tell him. It is not too close to Christmas. Do it this week is my suggestion.

I never get the angst some parents have over this. I told my two straight when they were in primary 6 so about 10. Yes they might feel a bit wistful but that’s life, kids need to grow up. Of course you need to tell him he’s in high school for gods sake.

St Nicholas was a real priest. He gave gold to some little girls who would have been sold into sexual slavery otherwise. So they could buy themselves out of it.
not sure what he did that was deemed saint worthy. But he was a real man for sure.

It’s the pickled children he rescued that was the saint-worthy miracle.